Orgasm Much?

Hey joonies, hope you all had a wonderful weekend.  We wanted to start this week off with a special post by our new, infamous contributor… JAMES BOND:

.I wanted to start this post off by telling you the Wikipedia definition of sex:  “Sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety.”  I’m just going to keep it real:

the point of having sex is to orgasm

(which is the most beautiful and amazingly pleasurable feeling in the world.  And if you can’t relate to this, then that really sucks for you).

Now let me tell you the Iranian girl’s definition of sex: “SEX is holy like the Bible/Quran. SEX is an insurance policy: it protects your relationship (for some time).” So basically these girls think that as long as you have the insurance policy (sex), you will have a MAN in your miserable life.  Of course, until SHIT HITS THE FAN, and even then- the “sex insurance policy” will not keep him from leaving your psycho ass.

I love Persian girls. They are the most beautiful CREATURES in the world.  You can’t live with them and you can’t live without them. Iranian girls are the most complicated, complex, convoluted, puzzling females species to walk this planet. I guess girls in general fit this profile, but when it comes to sex specifically, Iranian girls are the most complicated/puzzling.

For your benefit, I have categorized them into 3 types based on a low to high percentage:

1) First we have the Bronze Category or 3rd place (which in my opinion doesn’t cover a high percentage of Iranian girls, but unfortunately they do exist).  GET READY, DRUM ROLL, and ACTION:

They are saving their vaginas for marriage.

innocent little virgins.

Ok… “WHAT the FUCKKKKK?!!”  I have never understood these type of girls and unfortunately, I do know a few of them so you know I am not talking out of my ASS/KOOON. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what goes on in their head.  I would like to say a CRAPPP-LOAD of nonsense.  Look, by the time you are married, lets say you are in your late 20s and you’ve been waiting your whole life to have sex.  By the time you are actually going to enjoy it and not feel the virgin penis pain, GOD knows where your relationship stands.

I believe that a happy, healthy and comforting relationship has a lot to do with GOOD sex- I’m going to say… at least 40% of your relationship relies on sex.   Therefore, when you are so desperate for marriage and don’t have any sexual experience then chances are… before your sex life finally gets good (or at least up to par and calm down women, I ain’t talkin’ like pornstar sex), your relationship is probably going to be miserable, unhappy, sad, sorrowful, and a bit depressing (no one wants to fuck a girl who just sits on top of you looking scared). So yes, this is the first group Iranian girls.  Don’t worry guys, they only cover less than 10% of the Iranian girl population (thank fucking God).

2) Next is my favorite group of Iranian girls (or girls in general): the SILVER Category or 2nd place.

These girls LOVE and ENJOY every minute of sexual intercourse

she knows what she wants.

INCLUDING (but not limited to): ORGASMS/EJACULATION, HOT SEX, blow jobs, 69, DAWWGGYYY STYLE (not trying to be too graphic, but I just needed to make my point). They aren’t saving their prideful virginity for marriage or some other type of “fairytale” miracle.  They have sex to orgasm because they know how fucking awesome it is.  I really don’t need to elaborate much with this category- its pretty self-explanatory and fabulous.  They are out there… but unfortunately, I’d say its only another 10% of the Iranian female population that belongs to this category.

3) DRUM ROLL PLEASE…. and now I’ll let Bruce Buffer will do the honor: “Last but not least is the GOLD Category or 1st place.  Now the “Gold” girls are the most interesting, fascinating and complex species out of all the Iranian girl categories.  I get excited when I talk about this particular group of Irooni girls.

They are insecure and very desperate for a relationship.

THESE are the girls who view sex as an “insurance policy…” to keep them in the relationship.

Please stay with me.

How SAD and MISERABLE!  And sadly, a high percentage of the female species belong to this group, but today I’m only covering the Iranian portion of it. Personally, I consider myself a GIVER, which basically means that I’m all about giving pleasure (not to anyone)  So when you are having sex JUST to “insure” your relationship- this means that the LAST thing you are thinking about is having an orgasm.  All you are focusing on is keeping your man.  This is the most disgusting/unheard thing I’ve ever seen girls do.  YES, I AM BITTER AND DISGUSTED because the only reason anyone should ever engage in 69′ing or DAAAWWGYYY style (minus the view) is to have a fucking orgasm.

Don’t just do it to make sure your boyfriend sticks around– just because you haven’t had an orgasm doesn’t mean you can’t.  It just means you haven’t figured out the right position, or the right move.  And yes “JOONIES”– a guy canNOT give you an orgasm until you know how it has to be done FOR YOU… we all need a little guidance here and there.

I get it.  I know you want to make sure you get MARRIED at the right age …. or whatever else excuse you have for sticking with your sex-confused partner… but

YOU ARE SO DESPERATE TO BE WITH A POTENTIAL HUSBAND THAT YOU SACRIFICING AN ORGASM AND AN ULTIMATELY HAPPY/HONEST RELATIONSHIP.

This is absolutely the most repulsive category and unfortunately, it comprises about 80% of our Persian girl population.

Lastly, Iranian girls, I’m going to leave you with a few words of #wisdom: having an orgasm is amazing, its the peak pleasure of sex, its like an explosion inside your body.  It feels great and yeah, it might take awhile till you get there- but once you do… it feels like you have absolutely no control of your body for that one moment (but in a good way).

And EVEN BETTER:  it cures things like tension, stress, and acne- THAT’S RIGHT! 

So please, get out of your miserable none orgasmic relationship and have ENJOYABLE sex- WITH orgasms.  Experience the most amazing feeling in the WORLD.  And for God’s sake, at least accept the fact that BLOW JOBS or GETTING EATEN OUT is not “gross.”  Honestly, its like the appetizer to the main course: the ORGASM.

Trust me it will help you reach the peak pleasure of SEX quicker.

Disagree?  Do you REALLY think its worth being in an “orgasm-less” relationship?  TELL ME WHY:

FACEBOOK US

sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

Later bitches,

James Bond جیمز باند
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Comments

  1. I was one of those Golden Girls for the first 6 years of my sex life and then I just stopped settling for my man being the only happy and satisfied one in the relationship. The funny thing is that once I explored what makes me happy and satisfied the relationship I was in became all the more stronger and my man was not only happy to please his woman, but that I would take extra steps to make him happy and well…it’s just fabulous. Thank you James Bond for bringing this issue out into the light!

  2. I am an Iranian girl but I do not fit in any of your “groups.” First of all you forgot one important issue here; you can’t blame Iranian girls, you have to blame our religious culture, which is completely alive even today.
    It’s all about Orgasm for you but for an Iranian girl, it’s all about “fear.” They don’t live a miserable life, they are living the perfect life style that their mothers, fathers and their society sold them when they were young. It’s not any one’s fault, one must find her way out of all these crazy religious traditional thoughts and you know how much would that cost an Iranian girl?
    Acid spray on their face, getting beaten up by their fathers and brothers every day, rejected from the whole family for just having sex with the ones they love, etc. That’s why you see an Iranian girl sitting on you afraid. Afraid of all the judgments.
    All you talk about is orgasm, the great feeling of life.
    And you don’t know anything about Iranian girls and the stupid culture they are forced to live in.
    I don’t fit in any of your “groups” because I am a human being not just an Iranian girl you can divide into groups and evaluate them by “orgasm.”
    try to see things differently from other perspectives too.
    I can blame all the Iranian men for being a bunch of chauvinists too, but you know what? I know better than that and with all due respect, I am not this simple minded!

    • AMEN KHAHAR!

    • perfectttttttttt,

    • @neda, well said. i coldn’t agree more with you given that this lunacy goes on to this very day… but i wonder, is there anything we, the older generation, can do for our brothers and sisters and cousins and family friends to try and get the message through to them that sex is not shameful and that marriage is no guarantee of love or good sex?

  3. I love sex… enjoyed it from the very begining and to be honest i couldn’t wait to lose my virginity…. but why are women in certain cultures uncomfortable with sex? why do they think that men are the only ones who deserve to enjoy sex? and why do they feel used after having a one nite stand or a simple meaningless sex? i guess this all goes back to how women have been defined in a culture and in a society, it also has a lot to do with religion and not only Islam, even in Christianity of you are very religious as a woman you are not supposed to enjoy sex much…. but from what i see these days amongst my own female Iranian friends i see more and more women are comfortable with sex, with enjoying it, with taking a trip down to the sex shop with their girlfriends and talking about their sexual experiences….. back in Iran also at least in my circle of friends i had noticed that gilrs were more open about sex and seemed to be enjoying it… but then again i don’t know what happens in their bedrooms and when they are actually with men…. i think mens expectations from women also makes them behave in certain ways…many Iranian men still believe that a woman who really enjoys sex and has fun is a Slut or Jendeh or Lashi, so women try to pretend not to like it as much….
    as for me i say fuck it all…live your life, have loads of sex and be proud :-)

  4. exoticsara says:

    To all the women out there that are looking for answers just live your life and stop making everything big, don’t let anyone choose what you want to do in the end or in the bed (be sexually creative)! Personally I had sex with my boyfriend on the second date and it was so fun/romantic/sexy/erotic lol :) I enjoyed every second of it!
    and to you Mr James Bond good advice, cheers!

  5. Im an iranian girl who didnt had any orgasm before. My boyfriend can’t make me come to orgasm and he suggested me to visit a doctor. But I think my problem is not physical, it’s more cultural and social. So what to do? Any help

    • i’m no doktorr lilac, but i can think of some things that come to mind (no pun intended):

      1. try masturbating. if you can make yourself come, there’s no physiological reason, other than your boyfriend being a bad sex partner, that he shouldn’t be able to make you come.

      2. if you can’t make yourself come, it may all be in your head. before you and your boyfriend have sex, have a few (2-3, not 10) alcoholic drinks to get tipsy to help you relax. alcohol is a depressant which suppresses psychological inhibitions which may help you to get into the moment and come. this is neither a short or long term solution and i would only suggest it for experimental purposes only.

      3. similar to the above, if alcohol doesn’t work, try weed. again, experimental only.

      4. if you’ve tried 1., 2. and 3 and still nothing, your problem will almost definitely be psychological and i would suggest you start by visiting a doctor (general practitioner) and they can refer you to a psychologist that specialises in sex therapy.

      good luck.

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