I’m DTF, Am I Going to Hell?

Hey joonies,

We got a white girl on the blog.

We know Saaghi really hates on them, but today we have a special guest post from  SiennaWe thought it was time to show Iranian girls everywhere: White girls struggle with some of the same issues that we do and Sienna is a true testament to that.  So read on and be enlightened:

When it comes to sex, Catholics and Muslims are NOT THAT DIFFERENT.  Surprised? Both religions place virginity on a pedestal.

Both religions teach women that if you lose it: 

(1). you’ve committed a seriously immoral act (meaning you’re now a WHORE).

(2).  you HAVE to marry him or your life will be over.

Trust me– I’ve seen it.  My Catholic friend entered college convinced she’d save it  for her wedding night… and two years later drunkenly had sex with her boyfriend.  Now she’s forcing herself to stay in a horrible, unhealthy relationship because she’s convinced she HAS to marry him.

I understand the reasoning behind this religious pressure — who wants to teach their kids its okay to bang every piece of ass that walks by?  But shame will not (and never has) deterred people from shacking up… all the religious pressure just makes sex LESS HEALTHY and MORE DANGEROUS. 

Case in point:

My Catholic university did not hand out a single condom in the health center, never breached the topic of sex in our mandatory health classes freshman year, and anyone caught having sex would be kicked off campus. But do you think that the threat of being thrown out of school ever deterred COLLEGE KIDS from having sex? NO F*CKING WAY. We just didn’t talk about it and judged everyone who did it (even if we were doing it, or were just jealous). And that is NOT HEALTHY.

Here’s why –

First reason should be a no-brainer really: condoms prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancy- and no one really wants to get screwed in THAT way… just sayin’.

And the second reason pisses me off even more: making sex such a TABOO topic, such forbidden act, teaches people to be ashamed. 

For too long I lived with this GUILT stemming from everything sexual… making out with my high school boyfriend in the backseat, going to second base with the cute guy from that dorm party, and heaven forbid… MASTURBATING.  If you’re reading this and laughing, thinking how prude I am… well you might be right.  That’s what sucks the most.  Along with the guilt of being sexual, comes the JUDGEMENT from others.

Get this: I’m a virgin (no shame either– ladies give it up when you want to, no sooner and no later).  And yet, I’ve been called a whore and a slut (stories for a different time). 

It took me way too long to realize that I have nothing to be ashamed of.  I’m 22 and just becoming comfortable with my sexuality, and that sucks.  I wish I would’ve realized sooner because all of that shame and religious pressure made me really INSECURE.  Its inevitable really: When your parents, your priest, your friends are teaching you to keep it in your pants till you’re married, to reject what is NATURAL and HEALTHY and FUN… well you’ll end up not knowing up from down.

Religion has always been a part of my life, not through force or pressure, but because I think it is important.  And I used to think that sex was something special — something to be saved for marriage.  My boyfriend thought the same thing, so it was never an issue.  But as the years passed, I met people who exposed me to a new, radical idea: sex isn’t always sacred.

Yes it certainly can be.  And at times, it should be.  But I’ve come to realize that sex doesn’t mean everything, and neither does my virginity.  So I no longer plan on waiting for marriage, but I also don’t plan on losing my virginity to a guy I meet at 3 am in a seedy bar.  I’ll never be the type to sleep around, and I know that. But I also know that my first time, while not meaning everything, doesn’t mean nothing. So until I find someone I want to share that moment with, I’ll wait.  And that’s MY choice.  

Here’s the bottom line: SEX and RELIGION are NOT incompatible.  

You can be religious, you can believe in God and be a good person, you can go to Heaven and still be sexually active.  Whether you think you were created by an act of God, Allah, or your parents and a bottle of wine, you shouldn’t be ashamed of your body and how you were created.  NO religion should make you feel bad about yourself and your sexuality.  

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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Love,
Sienna سیعنا
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Comments

  1. Great post. I’m technically in the same boat as you girls (religions that promotes virginity) and my best friend is Catholic. We’re both virgins and both have faced pressure to remain virgins just to make sure we’re ‘pure’

  2. Reblogged this on SPVCX.

  3. Armando Mendoza says:

    I think the same but the most importian thing to have fun with the person your dating and respect one too other. Just to let you know I really don’t go to church.I am a good guy ,call me number is .(210) 430-1030

  4. Ok Right, what you are saying in this article is true. I just wanted to add on this and mention the very important difference between Islam and Christianity in the perception of sexuality.

    Christianity perceived sex as somehow wrong. According to the Bible, marriage and pleasing God are antipathetic to each other. Christianity sees sex was a threat to spiritual upliftment. And this of course since the original sin of Adam and Eve, which is passed on from generation to generation.

    On the contrary, the Islamic sexual morality is fundamentally different from that of the Christian Church. Islam recognizes the sexual needs of human beings and believes that the natural instincts should be nurtured, not suppressed. Islam says that the biological parts of our body have a purpose, they have not been created uselessly. No text in Islam can be found to equate sex with inherent evil or sin; whatever has been taught by the Qur’an, Prophet Muhammad and his Ahlu’l-bayt (descendent) points in the opposite direction. Islam aims at teaching its followers not to suppress their sexual urges, rather to fulfill them but in a responsible way.

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