I Ain’t Sayin She A Gold Digger.

Joonnieeesss…

While Farrah may have been naughty at Grandma’s, I want to bring something to light thats even more troubling than that. Joonies,

When you go out on a date, who pays?

Yeah, I did just dive into it.

Boys, do you pay? Or do you split the tab? Does it matter if its the first date, or the 41832901832th date?

Now, I’m a female. and I’m Persian. and if I end up pulling out my debit/credit on our first date, chances are, we won’t be going on a second date. and you will not be getting any.

Does this make me superficial? Does this make me old-fashioned/backwards? Or worse, a gold digger? I am the antithesis of the superficial, stepford wife but when it comes to who pays when and for what, I can’t help myself.

I know many of you men HATE expectations, because as soon as an expectation exists, you do EVERYTHING in your power not to meet it.

But I don’t think that men picking up the tab during the dating stage is an expectation. Or anti-feminist. or entitled.

Before you hate me, let me explain:

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Gotta Let It Go

Hellohello jooonies,

Tonight’s topic is dedicated to several of our wonderful jooooons who have emailed/commented and asked for a post on this (thank you for that):

DATING IRANIAN BOYS… IN IRAN.

I’ve talked about this particular experience before (click here), but I left out all the real details: the drama, cheating and sex at grandma’s.  Because let’s be real:

Persian girls aren’t the only ones that bring on the drama.

It’s not always romance and butterflies

We’ve all had summer/vacation flings– and sometimes they’re the best relationships because you leave before anything gets “too complicated.”  Most importantly, you only remember the good times… all those unreturned phone calls are quickly forgotten.

Unless your fling lasted six years like mine did.  

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Got Locked Up, They Won’t Let Me Out

YOLO joonjoons.

I know you’re tired of hearing ‘yolo’ – (you only live once) but it applies so well to this post, I swear!

If you ever wanted to know what it would be like to blog for SandF, here’s a little sneak peak into the emotional crisis:

Everytime I write something, part of me thinks: “Wow, I feel so liberated sharing this with the entire internet” –then, the other part of me thinks: “Wow, I just screwed myself out of a job and a husband.”

Ehh, it’s a schizo-tradeoff Farrah and I have come to love.

Now keep that in mind, as I share one of the most embarassing experiences of my life.

Back when I first started college, I was a fresh-faced FOOL. And I don’t mean in a naive or sheltered way (because I actively UN-sheltered myself in HIGH SCHOOL).

I mean in the Dictionary defintion sort of way:

Fool: NOUN. a silly or stupid person, lacking judgment or sense   [Read more…]

Whatever You Say

Hey joooonie joons,

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend.  I was visiting the fambam this weekend for vacation.  I always love going home for some major relaxation time, good food, quality family time, catching up with old friends, etc.

I send my desired menu to my mother a week in advance and the food is miraculously ready the second I demand it.  My dad takes me shopping to get clothes for the “upcoming season.”  My brother and I spend time together talking and being goofy.  It’s just awesome.

This is how my family is when I’m visiting

Yeah. Fucking. Right.

I had a revelation this weekend.   [Read more…]

Did I Betray my Meth*?

Joonies, hope you’re not packing on too many lb’s this New Years (1391). Our ‘Eidi’ gift to ourselves, and to you, is

TUMBLR: http://sexandfessenjoon.tumblr.com/.

It’s basically a little window into our brainstorm– the music, the visuals, and the words that get us writing ;)

We have a Guest Post, and this time its reaaallll interesting. One of our joonies reached out to us, a little distraught over her dilemma… read on to see if this was just a ‘caught up in the moment’ error of judgment, or just plain wrong.

*And the METH she’s referring to, ain’t the crystal kind. For clarification, check this: SINGLE OR JUST ADDICTED TO METH?

Ok, so we’ve all had crazy drunken nights where we’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve ATE SHIT and we’ve hooked-up with our bestie’s crush right?!…(GUILTY)

And I know what your thinking…Oh, she’s THAT girl who uses the ‘I was drunk’ excuse to hook-up with guys she wouldn’t normally hook-up with, but lemme tell you a little story and I’ll let you decide who is the victim here.

This past weekend was one of my closest friend’s 23rd birthday and the protocol was: get wasted & have a grand old time. This friend of mine is part of my close group of girlfriends (my meth essentially) but our relationship with each other has been the rockiest of all mainly because my friend thinks I’m “perfect”…which I am no where near.

Coming from a Persian household it was always stressed that our problems, insecurities fears, etc. are private and therefore, I learned from an early age to grow a thick exterior and essentially pretend that everything was okay all the time, even when it wasn’t.

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Diary Of A Mad Persian Girl

aYYOOO Joons.

I’ve been having some anger problems lately, to the point that I think I may enroll in Anger Management– shoutout to the friend who wants to join me, in these secret classes- you know who you are ;). (hey, the first step is ADMIT) I’m not the nicest person you’ll ever meet, but I’m not really different from most girls.

image

I think all persian girls have equal amounts of PMS & PMP: PERSIAN-MOM-POTENTIAL

PMS, makes them bitchy (hence: why am i such a bitch?) and PMP makes them at the core, sweet and sacrificing (and always willing to feed).

Yet, if you really take advantage of PMP, you’ll end up with A LOT of PMS– if you catch my drift. And I know, personally for me, thats not the anger/emotional/psycho train you want to be caught in front of, because I dont hit the brakes. I accelerate.

Now, enough with the metaphors. Let me tell you the deal.

Boys, I appreciate how some of you have grown balls as of late, and learned how to approach women. I know, esp Persian Girls, complain non-stop about how we have to wear the pants nowadays, and we find ourselves CHASING YOU. (its not cute, and in fact- it makes you look worse at the end of the day) So I really like guys who go for the forward-ill-ask-you-directly type thing. But you really need to do a better job of reading signs.

I like rejecting people, as much as I like being rejected.

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HIT THE ROAD, JACK

Hey jooooons,

Hope you all had a wonderfully filling and pool-dar (make it rain) Norooz.  We know we did.

Persians always know how to do it right

Anyway– let’s get right to it.  I’d like to think that we all learn from our past… whether they were mistakes or something we did right.  We evolve… we learn… and most importantly, we grow out of our mistakes (most of the time).

This is how I feel about my hook-ups.  For our first time, as Persian girls  (most girls)– we choose carefully.  We pick someone we trust, someone we think we love… and give it up because let’s be real– if we are going to actually have sex, it better be with some legit guy (at least in our minds).

Meet my first time (I wish)

But if you’re anything like me, after you give it up- and after it didn’t end up working out because HE LIVES IN IRAN (buzzkill), you get a little crazy and you make some (necessary) mistakes. [Read more…]

MAKE IT RAIN, ITS 1391

JOONS, we can’t claim we rep Iranian/Persian roots if we don’t put up a NOWROUZ/Norooz/EID post.

We’re taking a minute out of our super busy day (who else left cleaning and showering for the last minute?) to wish you all a very Happy New Year.

1391 style.

No not 1391 A.D, That would be the Spanish Inquisition.

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Who is OMID J.?

Hey joonies,

In honor of our “non-Racism” week, we thought it might be cool to hear from someone OTHER than Farrah and Saaghi for once.  Meet Omidjooon.  He’s not just a fan of making silly videos– he’s got some CALI #SWAG too.  

About a week ago, a police investigator came to my parents house looking for me. I was not home so he left his card with my parents. He then went to my neighbors home, showed them a picture of me, and asked if I lived next door. Obviously, they said yes.

I was the suspect in a shooting.

Except what I was shooting was a picture and the weapon was my iPhone.

Turns out on December 12th, someone saw me take a picture of the Police Station in Downtown.  They took down my license plates and called the police. The police ran the plates and found that the car belonged to the one and only Omid Joon.

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ALL I DO IS LIN.

Joons,

My new obsession: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA- GREYHOUND. Even if you’re not a clubhead, you have to admit the beat is sick,brah. I think I could eat fessenjoon or have sex to this song, (or run a marathon) and thats why its S&F worthy.

You can listen to it in the new ABSOLUT commercial, thats part TRON/part ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

Now we’re not gonna say its RACISM week, like they try to call out BLACK HISTORY MONTH & INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY…but I think Farrah brought about how us Iranians can be the victims of some very nasty profiling ….

but lets talk about how us Iranians can be some nasty racists, now I realize thats a loaded term, but lets be real– we can get pretty bad.

Sometimes I think we worship our “blood” as if we were tracing it back to GOLD. The ARYAN thing was dispelled a few months ago, and clearly, our oppressive theocracy should humble our superiority complex–no?

[Read more…]

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