USE A HO

Hey joonies,

We enjoyed DoozyFab’s last post (click here) so much, we decided to bring her back for another original FABulous post.  Check her out below and if you want more of her, visit her blog: www.doozyfab.com.

It’s like being stuck between a rock and a boulder when a girl is dating more than one guy.  Why?  From a girl’s perspective, think of it has being perceived as a “ho” just because you’re “talking” or “hooking up” with more than one guy — add to that the conflict you face between your own feelings of love, culture, and the fact that your own father just might disown you because you don’t want to go to your khastegari.  

WHEN I GROW UP

Growing up, i was perceived as the “goody two shoes” out of my friends — in other words, I was a “prude,” or a “nun,” people would say, “don’t talk to her, she’s not easy.”  My favorite: “Oh she’s Persian!”

Honestly, I don’t really care about these titles.  People are just jealous of me (in the wise words of Gretchen Weiners).

Always keeping it real

I have to say, I do think it is okay to date around, but I don’t think its okay to base one’s entire life on the person they are dating.  I’ve seen this happen to so many people and I’m still shocked when some people stay home at night because they are trying to be “good” in their relationships (even though their boyfriend/girlfriend is out partying without them).  It happens.  But…

We do not need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend.  What we do NEED is food, water, oxygen, clothes, family, and maybe some hookah or Akbar Mashti ice cream.  

#Delicious

Pesars & Dokhtars…

There is always a double standard between men and women… especially when it comes to Persians.  Like the fact that our older brothers are “God’s gift to the world” and they can do no wrong.  The men can date as many white or Indian girls as they wish, and get away with it.  To be honest, its really not fair because if a Persian girl were to do that… she is automatically a “jendeh” (whore/slut).

You are a ho if…

  • You photoshop the herpes off your lips before you upload your pics onto Facebook.
  • You have sex on the first date.  A guy will most likely not commit because he is probably going to think that girl is doing the same thing with other guys.
  • You are sending nudey pictures to people you haven’t met yet… or have “met” on Facebook.
  • Your mother is a ho.
  • You used to date a pimp.
  • You are a stripper or exotic dancer (too easy). 
  • You have had sex with more than ten people.  iF A HOE DOESN’T VALUE HERSELF… NO MAN WILL VALUE HER. 
  • Porn star = ho.
  • TRAMP STAMP!

NOT cute

  • You wear ripped up clothes to a club (try to keep it classy, man)! 
  • You are checking out other guys at a bar/club while you’re already with another guy.
  • Your reputation is “talk to the person for five minutes only, then get some ass!”
  • Your boobs are higher than your nose job in your club dress.  It’s actually kind of funny… sometimes “hos” try NOT to dress like hos and that ironically makes them look like a bigger slut.

FREEDOM HAS NO LIMITS…

Now that I’ve cleared up what a real ho is, there is no need to feel guilty.

Agheh maman-bozorgeht sekkteh kard (if you grandmother has a heart attack) because you’re talking to two guys at once and NOT preparing chai (tea) for your upcoming “suitor” instead, DON’T TRIP. Just know that she comes from a different time where literally… NOBODY DATED.  And her idea of a “ho” is women whose headscarf got blown away by the wind.

What a bunch of “sluts”

While your traditional parents might scold you for not sitting in the Law Library or Medical library (while you’re a poli-sci. or history major) to find a husband– you need to realize that it is okay to talk to some guy in the “Hollywood scene” or a guy with no job.  Don’t trip.

You’re only young once… and you can’t get away with all that once you hit above your mid-20s.

Butt do know that your parents want the best for you and when you are done hanging out with Brad Pitt and Charlie Sheen on the weekend… you can study in those libraries Monday through Friday.

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE…

Don’t let all those double standards bring you down.  You are not a ho (unless you’ve checked off three or more from the list above).  Know where you stand in your relationships and know that there is more to life than PESARS (boys).

So what’s up joonies?  Agree with my hoe tips or what?

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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Check me out at: http://www.doozyfab.com

Love always,

DOOZYFAB دوزی فب
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Comments

  1. phattphudge says:

    haha! I thoroughly enjoyed this point. =]

  2. HAHAHA I love the boob popping out of the shirt pic. Yes, the double standard is unfair, but no one really likes a ho, male or female. So go to your khastegari, because as much as we wanna believe that we live for us, we don’t. Persians live to please their parents, or at least our parents live to see us succeed. After that, go on your 2 dates and keep it to yourself. They don’t need to know. I always thought that secrecy is best, but don’t flat out lie, because you need to be prepared when Amoo Joon sees you being a little too friends with a non-Persian guy and reports back to your dad.

    • LOL so glad you like the pictures. It is difficult to live for ourselves because of all the cultural aspects of our lives, but think about it this way: when you’re old and reflecting on everything it’s best to not have any regrets and feel content/happy about the decisions you’ve made. There is an aspect of kids living to please their parents and parents wanting them to succeed — it’s also the same in many other cultures. Just remember that Persians have a lot of love and passion to give within their families which is something I value a lot in the culture :)

  3. “You are a ho if you’ve slept with more than 10 guys”.

    UM….

    There are 30 year old women who are not married but hit that “10” mark WHILE STILL being classy and selective with their partners. Numbers mean nothing. Some women suck dick as if its a handshake but then glue their legs together thinking that intercourse is all that matters, and oral sex is a freebee.

    Someones “number” should never be a way of defining them as a “ho”. Accompanying that statement with “if a hoe doesn’t value herself, no man ever will” is absolutely repulsive. You should reassess your idea of self worth and a woman’s “value”, because it definitely does depend on the number of people she has slept with. How can you use an objective, arbitrary number to measure how a woman values herself? Before you give any advice on such a valuable and widely publicized platform, do more thinking.

    • Thank you for reading the post :) Those ways of telling if someone is a ho are left to a stereotype which we see and is exposed in the media whether we like it or not.

      Also… they are not to be taken so seriously, for example, “you used to date a pimp” or “porn star= ho”. I do know one or two people who have had 10-15 something partners and are still very classy people. Now, if someone is 3 or more things on that list it starts getting a little questionable, but it obviously depends on the person.

      “If a hoe doesn’t value herself, no man ever will” This is just a general rule of thumb. If a person does not value himself or herself (numbers don’t matter in this case, it’s not even about sex) then the other person will notice. It is the level of self-esteem and how we emotionally rank ourselves and have an idea of what we deserve.

      Let me know your thoughts, I love the feedback :)

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