HIT THE ROAD, JACK

Hey jooooons,

Hope you all had a wonderfully filling and pool-dar (make it rain) Norooz.  We know we did.

Persians always know how to do it right

Anyway– let’s get right to it.  I’d like to think that we all learn from our past… whether they were mistakes or something we did right.  We evolve… we learn… and most importantly, we grow out of our mistakes (most of the time).

This is how I feel about my hook-ups.  For our first time, as Persian girls  (most girls)– we choose carefully.  We pick someone we trust, someone we think we love… and give it up because let’s be real– if we are going to actually have sex, it better be with some legit guy (at least in our minds).

Meet my first time (I wish)

But if you’re anything like me, after you give it up- and after it didn’t end up working out because HE LIVES IN IRAN (buzzkill), you get a little crazy and you make some (necessary) mistakes.

You get with guys that you wouldn’t normally hook up with… Like this:

Ugly moustache man

Ok maybe not… but– I hooked up a guy or two that I wouldn’t even look twice at today.  And it’s not because they were [too] shady or ugly, but because my taste EVOLVED.

I don’t go for that random hot guy that attempted to impress me with his nonexistent intellect.  And furthermore, I don’t go for the piece of ass that tries to get at every girl just because he can.  Where’s the fun in that?

Let me give you a better example.

Saaghi wasn’t the only frat fanatic homegirl in college.  I have my share of frat boy stories too and its true what she says… they really are FRAT AS FUCK.  Anyway, I was the anti-sorority girl.  If a frat boy so much as kissed me… they were a rebel for seeking OUT of the norm.

HOW SAD.

And unfortunately for me– we just played too much beer pong back in my day– and that shit was only available at a frat house.

So I hooked up with this Persian guy (does anyone else see a trend here) my first year of college.  It was fun… kinda sloppy- the way some frat boys like it… until he got back with his ex (sorority) girlfriend and I got over it.

Fast forward: five years later – he comes out to visit some friends on the other side of the country and stays with me one night.  We all go out, get drunk, we come home… and he tries to get in my bed.

I’m sorry, but you must be trippin’ on some WHACK alcohol.

Here’s the problem: Some people think that if you hooked up once then the door is always open.  And I just don’t believe in that.

If we’re done– then it’s NOT happening again.  END OF STORY. sorryboutit. 

I wouldn’t have sex with some guy I hooked up with when I was going through my “curious” stage ever again because now that I’m a little older … and a little more experienced. I know what I like… and what I don’t.  So, sorry FRIEND- but you just don’t do it for me anymore.  I GREW UP.

Unfortunately for many of my past hook-ups: you were all a stepping stone to helping me realize what turns me on.  But don’t be a fool in thinking that it means- you’ll have another chance to “teach me.”

Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?

I don’t mean to say that I will say no to every guy I had a fling with or dated in the past.  But, I have something called “pride issues.”  if you dumped me or you ended things with me- I will never stoop as low and get with you for ONE NIGHT ONLY!

I have more respect for myself than that. 

Who wants to get rejected again anyway?  But most importantly, the type of guys I go for now are DRASTICALLY different to the guy who interested me in the past- so chances are, I’m just not that into you now.  My “type” isn’t the same as it was five years ago.

COLLEGE FARRAH:

Loved the hot guy on campus.  You know that guy that plays “hard to get” because he knows he can get every girl.  He was my drug.  I had to prove that I was the one who could break his tough boy exterior. 

Here’s the reality about guys like that:

Five minute man. Jack hammer fiend.  Would rather please themselves than ever get you off.

This is the face I make when he passes out after 5 minutes

POST COLLEGE FARRAH:

I don’t go for “the hot guy” anymore.  Actually he bores me.  I like the smart, motivated type.  The kind of guy that you can look up because he’s so intellectually stimulating that you ALWAYS have something to talk about.

Here’s the truth about MOST of these guys:

They don’t get adderall d*ck– they’re smart enough without that shit.  They’re all about PLEASING you.  And better yet- there’s never a boring moment.

So if you fit my “college” type– then chances are, shit’s not going down tonight.  But if you were able to evolve too?  Then maybe we can talk.

So what about you, joonies? Is the door always open?  I’m super curious– is it just me that can get over past doodool-tala action or is this everyone?

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

Follow me on Twitter because you’re over it too: @Farrah_Joon

XOXO,

FARRAH فرح
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Comments

  1. Hi.. I’d love to talk to the girl who wrote this: “BUT IF YOU’RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, AFTER YOU GIVE IT UP- AND AFTER IT DIDN’T END UP WORKING OUT BECAUSE HE LIVES IN IRAN (BUZZKILL), YOU GET A LITTLE CRAZY AND YOU MAKE SOME (NECESSARY) MISTAKES”… can you email me please?!

  2. I think sharing a story about your relationship with the boy in Iran will be really interesting, we can all relate to it! I know I had a crazy experience…

  3. i agree with elnaz, I know so many girls ( including myself) who have had a relationship with a guy in iran. Would love to hear it!

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