Ain’t Fun if Your Homies Can’t Get Some

Hi JOONAMS,

I just want to start off by saying whoever decided that spring break wasn’t for adults was on some serious CRACK.

Moving on… (at least TRYING to).

I’ve mentioned this before, but when it comes to making friends, Persian girls are a tough crowd. We’re not friends with just anyone and we’re quick to hate on any girl that steps out of line.

Persian girls are firm believers in natural selection. We hate so that you become a better person.

It’s really for your own good.  We care about you that much. 

It takes us awhile to accept someone into our inner circle and according to any Persian girl, we are friends with the best of the best.

Persian girls know all 

But here is where we go wrong: when it comes to our men screwing up, we are quick to punish the girl before even considering hating on our man of the hour.

*This applies to women of ALL races- whether they’re black, Asian, white, etc.

We only hate on the “bitch who stole our man.”  How does that make sense when there are two consenting adults backstabbing like they actually have the right to?

My high school boyfriend was Persian and he just loved making me jealous by texting his old flame.  I would get so mad when I saw them talking at school or found out that she was at the same party as him.  But I never got mad at him… I always hated her. And I had no problem showing it.

As if talking massive amounts of shit on her wasn’t enough, every time she was in the same room as me, I would make her feel so uncomfortable that she would HAVE to leave.

And I remember thinking that I “defeated” her every time she walked out of the room or left the party. Until one day I realized I was just being an immature douche and my bitchiness only made ME look bad.

This is what we do

Of course, as I got a little older – I realized how stupid it was for me to blame her for all of his bullshit.  He shouldn’t have been texting or hanging out with her when he knew it clearly made me uncomfortable.

I retaliated by acting like the immature girlfriend who didn’t force him to take responsibility for his jackass actions. Instead, I did the “right” thing- and hated the poor girl who probably did not realize that I was just jealous- NOT a rude beezy. Luckily, I learned my lesson and made damn sure I never made the same mistake again.

Here is what we already know- some girls really are bitches.  And you need to steer clear from them— but here’s what’s more important: if you boyfriend really cares about you, he will never put you in a situation where a bitch is going to threaten your standing.

Let me give you the perfect example.

My freshman year of college was my ultimate rebellion year. I partied like there was no tomorrow– I even stopped dating the Persian boys for awhile and really took a bite of that forbidden fruit, the sias.  

There was just something about their #swag that especially caught my attention that year.

#swag 4 life

I started dating the captain of our college football team.  He was half sia (black) and had incredible swag.  Needless to say, I was really into it and we were dating for awhile.  Until one night…

I went to a birthday party of a mutual friend.  We hadn’t talked that night, but I knew he would probably be there.  Too bad for him, he had no idea that I would be.  I saw him on the dance floor dancing with this girl I went to high school with.  They were grinding and were both clearly drunk.

When she went back to the bar, I went up to her and said, “Hey, I’m dating that guy, can you please stop?”

Her response…

“It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t get some too.”

#truth

She went home with him that night– and our friendship was effectively ruined, especially when she came up to me in the school library that week to tell me how his “big d*ck made her feel like a virgin again.”  Well, I WAS a virgin then and I did not appreciate listening to some hoe talk about how she f*ckd my man.

He was forever tainted in my mind for screwing her and she was blacklisted because what Middle Eastern girl goes around bragging about how someone made her feel “virginal” again?

He called the next weekend to hang out (because he still had no idea that I saw him whore himself out).  So I let him come over and as we were watching TV, I mentioned the birthday party.

“You were there?”

Yeah, did you have fun with my friend SKANKFACE?” 

“Oh… you saw that?  Um, do you want me to leave now?”

Are you f*cking stupid?

And our relationship was over.  But what kind of relationship do you really have with someone if they are willing to hook up with any slut that gives them the time of day?  Ultimately, he was the one who was committed to me, she had no idea until THAT night that we were together– I am by no means excusing HER actions, but I’m holding him entirely responsible for betraying our “relationship.”

And that’s really how it should be.  I don’t think that it makes any sense for us to blame the girl that our slutty boyfriends get with…

Because the only slut in that situation is the boyfriend.

They’re the ones that are asking you to trust them and then end up going behind your back.  So while that girl is still a bitch for putting out in one night- we’ve all done it at least once in our lives.  Hold your man responsible– it is the only way HE will ever be able to evolve into someone better (if he isn’t a lost cause already).

So tell me joonies, should I only stick to hating one slut at a time or am I on the right track?

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

TUMBLE US: SEXANDFESSENJOON.TUMBLR.COM

FACEBOOK US

Follow me on Twitter if you’ve had some hoes in your life: @Farrah_Joon

XOXO,

FARRAH فرح
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