chillin with no makeup on, thats when you’re the prettiest?

HAY. we’re almost in MAY.

ok that was corny, but on the real, time flies, doesnt it?

and I always realize this on Mondays…=YOLO FML

I actually drag myself out of bed like this. #sad

Mondays are also when I realize that: the amount of food and alcohol I put into my mouth over the weekend is in direct correlation to how shitty my Monday is.

You know that feeling of waking up on a Monday, knowing you downed enough food for a small country in Africa– and then realizing you have to put on real people clothes.

I know for me, as a PERSIAN girl, its even more of an issue if I don’t keep up appearances for awhile. We need some Intensive Monthly Maintenance which includes: waxing, lasering, hair, etc. Routine Weekly Maintenance: nails, brows, shaving, etc. & THE DAILY: moisturizing, make up, exercising.

Of course, everyone’s different. Some girls wax their moustaches (yes we have them, lets be real) once a month, some do it once a week. Some girls wear foundation everyday, some just brush on the mascara. At the end of the day, its rare that we roll out of bed without a glance in the mirror.

But let me say this, I don’t like doing things without getting credit. So when guys insist,

I like girls who don’t wear makeup.

Or are more ‘natural’. Or aren’t high maintenance in the beauty department.

Drake really nailed the FAUX guy sentiment: Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on, thats when you’re the prettiest- I hope that you don’t take it wrong.

Well I do take it wrong.It really pisses me off. Do you know how hard I work to look naturally pretty?

If I’m prettiest with sweatpants, hair tied, and no make up– I worked to create that illusion #truestory

So here we go, I’m about to call all you DOODOOLTALA- JOONS on your BULLSHIT.

NATURAL:

1. Hairy HAIRY HAIRY: Take a look at your Persian/MiddleEastern Girlfriend, and if you see a clear face without a moustache, beard, or sideburns know that: she worked for that. If her legs are smooth, her armpits are fresh, and if her vagina is bare- she worked for that too.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears style.

She paid for an Asian/Russian to make her feel like she got slapped and smacked around with a paddle.

And with the rest of the hair that starts to creep back up, make up does wonders.

So boys: if you like women suppressing their hairy-ness, you’re not as natural-loving as you think.

2. “YOU LOOK TIRED”: Some of us have the great fortune of people mistaking our ‘natural beauty’ for a few nights of insomnia. Others can get away blending in without putting anything on their faces. Either way, on whichever end of the gene pool you find yourself, not wearing any make up attracts more concerned looks than men.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t advocate wearing the MAC store every time you leave the house, but there is no such thing as ‘the bare look’. You can create the illusion of that look with a few products from Sephora, but no woman I know can walk out of without some moisturizer or eyeliner or mascara and look attractive,

Guys insist they like waking up next to a girl who looks the same as the night before, with no black or orange on their pillows.

And I get that, nobody likes people wearing masks (thats just freaky unless….) But lets please be honest: You wouldn’t take a girl home who did not visually please you.

Don’t call Kim Kardashian or Eva Mendes hot, and then hate on “girls getting made up”. Because thats 70% of why they’re even appealing to you.

3. Locks of Love: Do you know what I think is the most laughable concept of the past 10 years? BEACH WAVES. or, THE TOUSLED look. or BED-HEAD hair. To think that PERSIAN GIRL Hair will be manageable right out of the shower, is probably as outrageous as saying Iran is a Free Country.

Do you know how many times people have told me I have “Sex hair”– and do you know how much product, drying, and curling when into that look?

Extensions. Hair color. Highlights, Treatments….all the goodies for all different people.

There are pages dedicated in all COSMOs, Vogues, etc to ‘creating’ the “JUST GOT OUT OF BED” waves. Well, if you were going to get out of bed and have that hair, would it really keep a multibillion dollar industry going?

I want to make it clear, I’m not promoting any of this and I know its not all the guys’ fault. Media today gives us the wrong assumptions about beauty- but I’m not getting into that today. I just wanted to make a simple point:

Looking naturally beautiful is a lot harder work than most people like to give credit for.

And its unfair to all of us, to pretend we dont pluck, curl, and fuss with ourselves to create that ‘look’. So next time a guy says he likes girls without make up, seduce him back to your house- pick up an ALMAY wipe and do a striptease….take it all off ;) and see how he feels about his stupid absolute statements.

TUMBLE US: SEXANDFESSENJOON.TUMBLR.COM

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET ME IF YOU AGREE: @SAAGHI_JOON

UnNaturally Beautiful,

SAAGHI  ساقی
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