I Just Want to Be Touched.

Salaam JOOOnies.

This weekend is a blur, and like all weekends it passes by too quickly. My actual Sunday is more like watching BEHIND THE MUSIC: NAS re-runs, trashy reality TV, and mourning over the responsibilities I procrastinate. Hello, Xanax.  But if I ruled the world…

My ideal Sunday would include reflecting on my life with some wine, a beach view and maybe, a guy…maybe. Kinda over the male species right now.

SO I don’t know how many of you Joonies are religious, but you all know where I stand on the issue (if not CLICK HERE). But you know what the most frustrating aspect of religion is?

Hot, religious guys.

Guys who actually prioritze God over their…..you know impulses

and I actually commend them for that, because if you don’t have principles in life, you probably don’t have much. BUT it does kill me when I happen to like one of you…

You see, I can respect a guy’s choice to be religious, if he can accept my lack of religion.

If I walk around in a miniskirt or shorts, I don’t want to see that look of judgment– that ‘ok, she’s a slut‘ label being branded on me. And I know the thought crosses their minds, and I know even if  a religious guy and I have great conversation, I will never be ‘girlfriend’ material for him.

Now, is that principle or discrimination?  

I think religion is archaic. But I will never look at a person praying, or practicing as ‘stupid’ or ‘unintelligent’.

But why is it that guys with religion can have the moral high ground to judge my value as a woman?

I dated a religious guy as I was just coming to terms with how I felt about my faith. He was a practicing Muslim, I was pretty anti-Muslim. He believed in an order to things, especially male-female relations: no premarital anything, marriage for life, the whole shebang! I wasn’t sure what I believed yet, but I really felt there was something more than following the path of every woman in my family for the past 6 generations. I knew my ultimate accomplishment would not be my family and I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t just want to be touched.

If I like you and you like me, and we’re not running some sort of bases…after awhile, I’m bored.

(and for any female that disagrees, your dating life has probably been short)

Liking a religious guy, is worse than crushing after the bad boy. The Bad Boy ultimately rejects you based on how fucked up he really is on the inside. Even if he says its about you, its about him.  The religious boy rejected me because of me, and how I decided to put together my why’s and how’s at this age.

Even when he said it was about him, it was about me.

Its more hurtful when you know guys, who you willingly consider as potentials, put you in the ‘trashcan’ category of their minds.

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Comments

  1. misleading title

  2. I don’t mean to come off sounding mean, but it’s not that surprising that it didn’t work out between you guys. You clearly came to have different world views (or approaches to living, however you want to look at it) in the end and that in itself is a huge difference. Typically, when you look for a spouse/partner/gf/bf you’re looking for similarities, right?

    • Its not mean to say that, its a valid point– but for people who are young, you’re not supposed to have a set world view. My problem with it is that at 18 or 22 you can think you have it all figured out, have all your questions answered– but thats just naive. You should be able to compromise, and build an approach to living based on experience.
      If he liked me for everything but my a-religiousness, then it was a huge loss that we didn’t work out.

      • But that a-religiousness could have entailed a lot of things. Perhaps he wanted to be with someone who prays, does their fasts, etc. That’s a lot of categories you’re not filling for him. Although, he would have to already know that about you at the beginning of the relationship. Which in that case, makes him extra retarded. Chemidoonam baba, adamizad toosh kheily divoonas, che mazhabi che gheire mazhabi.

  3. PELEPENO MOSLEM says:

    Any Muslim who has that mindset of putting that female in their ”trashcan” part of their mind is wrong.

  4. fonduetofondling says:

    This post reminded me of a story I once heard about a non-practicing Muslim guy who married a non-Muslim woman. After they got married he suddenly became really religious. He went to an Islamic scholar and asked the scholar what he should do about his wife. And the scholar told him not to say anything to his wife, and to just be the best husband he can be, and follow the teachings of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). So, the husband never asked his wife to convert to Islam or to wear hijab, or anything of the sort. He would pray five times a day, treat his wife like a queen, and was an amazing father to his kids. The wife never questioned his faith and the husband never forced anything upon her. One day, when the husband was praying, the wife came up behind him and joined him in prayer too. After the prayer, he asks her what happened. And she said, she’s never seen a husband or father like him, and what he does is so beautiful that this religion can’t be wrong.

    That story just melts my heart. =’)

    Love your blog! I love how you have the guts to say a lot of things that some people are too afraid to say!

    Cheers!

  5. I’m not religious, but I do believe in God. However, I don’t like religions as we’re all human beings on earth–it only separates humans in another unimportant category . While I do have family members that are religious Muslims, they don’t mind my non-religiousness as I was raised in a non-religious Muslim family. Religion is one of those things that you have to find your own truth and just find your soulmate with the same truth. I think the best thing is to be a good person and love God (or not) as well as following your heart and mind. Anyways, this was just my two cents :)

  6. I know what you mean and I totally feel you. Every time I come across this eye candy and they end up uttering the most oppressive bizarre shit in the world. I am not religious, I am spiritual. I dont have problems with guys who have faith, its just those who come with bigotry. I cant stand guys who are sexist, racist, ableist, oppressive and so on. Those are just deal breakers for me.

  7. Can you clear something up for me? Do you think every religious guy judges you when you wear a short skirt or shorts or just the ones that obviously give you the judgmental looks?

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