You are SO dumb, FO REAL!

:)

there’s only so many ways you can say hello, and I’m all out for today. & if you love ARAB $$ and SEXY like I do, this song’ll be a hit– summer in Morocco anyone?

and I couldn’t help but post another one for the people going out this weekend:

yeah I kinda gave into #bieberFEVER just a little.

So I’ve decided I have no HOSELEH (HOS for short–patience) for two things:

- ONLINE SHOPPING emails

- Ditzy MEN

One is because I’m broke, the other because I’m too intelligent.

I dont think its ok for girls to play it stupid, but when they actually are that dumb, I just forgive them– because I’m not trying to have sex with them. But for guys, its not that easy. As much as I know not EVERY hook up isn’t going to be an Einstein, I always thought it was safe to assume they have some sort of evolutionary-given common sense. Or could suppress their stupidity for at least the short period of time it takes to get it on.

Saaghi, you’re STUPID. Again.

My friends joke with me that I get with guys on a disability spectrum– from the physically handicapped to the mentally handicapped. I mean there was that one time with the blind guy– but come on! (JK–no one said I was PC on this blog)

But really, now its become a problem: before I’d wait til the next day or tilat least the hookup was over to tell my friends of the stupid sh!t they did, but now I find myself texting/laughing DURING the whole thing.

If I can’t wait to tell the world, it means you’re that ridiculous.  

image

One:

I had this one go-to drunk hook up for awhile: an athlete. I knew he was an idiot the moment I laid eyes on him, but he was SOOOO cute.  Even the moronic things that would come out of his mouth added to his drunken charm.“Where’s I-RAN?” “Come over, I just want to cuddle.”  

He was also half-deaf, which meant I could only whisper sexy little things to him in one ear, as he had to remind my drunk ass a few times.

Lets be real, he served his purpose, and I could care less about his geography and hearing skills. But the last time I called him for some fun, I had enough. I laid in bed, he got dressed– and as he put his shirt on, he gave me a huge smile:

“Do you know where I got this shirt from?” he tugged at it, indicating I should touch it too.

I touched this simple, grey V-neck, “where?”

“The Gap.”

……

“40% off” .

…..

“Its nice, isn’t it?

image

Listen joonies, I would’ve totally empathized if this guy was a broke bum off the street- bragging about his new tee-but thats totally not the case.

He was being honest about his ACTUAL fascination with the cotton blend V he got at a discount.

Its safe to say after that there was no more bargainshopping talk, but my friends and I STILL laugh about it.

Two.

My freshman year in college, I would hook up with this senior FRATbro to spite this other FRATbro I was really in love with (bad plan, details later). Turns out this senior wasn’t really anything to be jealous over since he was an insane drunk.

By insane, I mean:

He started a fight with anyone and anything, including the curb. I had to drag his ass inside, as he threatened a STOP sign and a few Asians coming home from the library. He started every morning with a FourLOkO, and his major in ‘Business’ was really just helping his roommate sell drugs.

I pick quality, I swear.

One night, he was SUPER drunk, and he revealed to me that as an even bigger sign of his BRO-y ness, he pees on other people’s beds when he’s drunk.

“Have you ever peed on your own bed?”

“Yea, once..on accident”

HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY PEE  YOUR BED AS A 22 YEAR OLD?

 It was BYEBYEBYE, for him.

Three.

A later hookup was not an athlete, and actually pretty academic, if I do say so myself.

He was so smart, I was convinced he was autistic.

Other than the small little tantrums, he seemed pretty…intelligent. so I didn’t think my brain would scream as much

Then one night, while hooking up, he decided to ask me how his muscles looked.

“I haven’t worked out in awhile, they’re still good though huh?”

You cannot be SERIOUS. You’re naked, and you’re asking me to assess your muscle definition? I’m sorry didn’t realize I was hooking up with the Statue of David. He wouldn’t stop either. He insisted I squeeze his biceps.

too small.

“No touch them, seriously”

…….

LAST STRAW. I literally decided I’d cuddle on my own side and see how long he could talk to himself, about himself for– turns out a. long. time.

SORRY dude, you gotta go…

And after these few encounters, I’m really left with the question:

how can guys deal with stupid bimbos?

image

I know hookups are hookups, and its not like you’re dating the person or their personality– but you have to draw the line somewhere. Is there an IQ standard to even getting physical, or is that too much of an expectation?

For everyone out there, if the person you’re getting it in with is in DITZ-land, you’ll soon find yourself losing patience– and maybe some brain cells.

I sometimes find myself thinking about GAP TEEs at 40% off, and quite frankly it scares me.

Thank god I’m still potty trained. ;)

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET ME: @SAAGHI_JOON

Run and tell that,

SAAGHI  ساقی
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Comments

  1. sashajoon says:

    I don’t know how guys to it because I can’t even stand being around stupid people. Every time I say that out loud, I feel bad, like I’m a bad person, but seriously, sometimes I think these people TRY to be stupid. If they are genuinely stupid then it’s ok, it’s not their fault but if you have no common sense… you gotsta go! lol. seriously.

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