It’s Like This, and Like That

Saaghi Sunday :)

My new obsession is IGGY AZALEA.  She looks like a younger version of Ice-T’s girlfriend.  “There’s a party on your face, and I’m about to dance on it! ” I feel like that’s what all persian girls are saying with the dirty looks they give at the club.

So here’s a good one for you lovely joonies, AOKI+AZALEA fresh. LISTEN here:

Onto the next:

If there’s anything I know about Persian People its that they judge. Yeah, they can say they don’t but really– they do.

In fact I’m tying their tendency to hold grudges with their tendency to JUDGE. Because the harsher you judge people, when they do something wrong, in your head you think ‘OH I KNEW THEY’D BE LIKE THIS’, and then you ultimately, reject them.

But you set them up for failure to begin with. I know this is especially true for me when it comes to guys. I’ve already made them the villain, before they even start acting like one.

We like being RIGHT more than we like people:  

that’s why we make sure that our experiences with people stay true to our initial judgment of them. If I think oh I can tell this girl is a bitch I’m going to look for actions that confirm her bitch-state-of-mind, instead of seeing her for what she really is.

And this is something a lot of people do, and its very natural for our brains to look for patterns. We’re constantly looking for that analogy because thats how we’ll understand:

Each rejection feels eerily similar to the one before. Each heartbreak feels like the one before, and each person we meet is like someone we’ve known before.

Like a dog.

But really, how much of that is illusion v. reality?

I can’t imagine what 12 year old girl I used to know, and a 25 year old girl I just met could have in common, but somehow I make the connection.

I understand X in terms of Y.

No experience is fresh and new, because we want to have all seen it before. Nothing is uncomfortable. No one is unique.

People who enter our lives then become condemned to repeat the mistakes of the people of our past.

I’ve been recently disturbed by this habit of judgment and patterns, because I realized it can cross a line into DELUSIONAL-ville. It becomes a good old Salem-Witch-Hunt. This time though, I was being burnt at the stake.

As any one who reads this blog knows, I am not very PC– in fact, I can make pretty strong statements and be very insensitive. But for me, its all in good fun. Part of its shock value, part of its that I dont take SH!T seriously. The people who actually know me, know that I’m open minded and rather sensitive- (I just choose to keep the goodies for those who earn it ;)

Recently I found out some people really did not like me. NBD. but when I found out it was people who I had never met, I was extremely irritated. Who judges people they don’t know?

….Clearly, Iroonis.

Soon I heard even more—Saaghi is this. Saaghi is that.. based on very short exchanges with moi.

Real character judgments from people who had never spent more than 2 minutes around me. I knew the girl who was spreading the SAAGHIhate was motivated by something else, and that I was just the new bad-bitch-of-the-minute and soon she’d find a filler for me, but it still hurt nonetheless. And it made me self-reflect A LOT.

We are so quick to judge people, and we can be so harsh. But we never think of the day we’ll be on the other end. Where someone will be making us the villain of their story– a courtroom where we can’t take the stand.

I can’t even count anymore the NUMBER of people I’ve dismissed based on petty things, because they reminded me of other people who wronged me. I didn’t treat them like a new person, with a new slate. In all honesty, I probably counted the minutes until they PROVED ME RIGHT– that they were the dumb b!tch I knew they’d be. I let my defensive mechanisms (SENSE: DANGER–RUN!) become the way I interacted with them.

image

I evaluated people irrationally, talked shit on them thinking my judgments were justified, and probably spread a lot of it to others.

I think we all think people who judge have horns and tails, and have ‘HOLIER-THAN-THOU’ branded on their forehead– but its not true AT ALL.

In fact, everyone judges– some are just better at justifying and concealing it. Rationalization goes a long way.

Yeah, its scary to explore new places but its definitely more rewarding than re-conquering old ones. Its a lot harder to treat every person and every experience like its brand spankin new; its almost against our biology. But if you can do it, or consciously tell yourself that this is not like that, and history does not have to repeat itself- you will be WAAAY luckier in the long run.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET ME: @SAAGHI_JOON

NOTHIN but a G Thang.

SAAGHI  ساقی
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