I’m Burning

Hey joonies, 

We have a special post from one of our favorite guest bloggers today- you might remember her from past HILARIOUS posts, DOOZY FAB.  She’s best known for telling men to “manscape” and calling random girls out for being hoe-ish.  You can check out her OWN blog at www.doozyfab.com

Doozy’s at it again!  Enjoyyy and let her know what you think in the comments section: 

“Besooz me once, shame on you.  Besooz me twice, shame on me.” 

Pesars: Read at your own risk.  You’ll probably get offended.

Dokhtars:  This really is for your own good.

Here’s a little “kabob for thought:”

“I’ll start letting my guard down when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up.”

I’ll admit that I have a tendency to be too trusting in people … and give people the benefit of the doubt way too often.  But I always end up being proven wrong when I’m burned by a guy… it seems like my idea of staying home, eating anything from Trader Joe’s and watching “She’s the Man” is way more appealing than meeting up with a guy who you know is just going to break up with you in the end.

My philosophy:

If you know it’s (breaking up) going to happen, then prepare yourself… 

There are always things you can do so you don’t have to feel like your heart constantly keeps breaking with guys who didn’t deserve to have a chance with it in the first place.

BACK IN THE DAY:

The very guy I dated broke up with me through AIM… as in AOL Instant Messenger (classy huh)- back when my screen name had an “angel” or “babygirl.”  Back before Myspace, LiveJournal and Facebook existed.  And yes, back before I even had my own cell phone.

It’s not like this was a serious relationship— we were just together for 2 1/2 months and we were so young.  But as a Persian girl, I put my heart and soul into everything.

When I love someone, I truly love them.

I am a loyal person and sometimes end up being too nice.

That very first experience at the age of 17 (late bloomer- I know), taught me that I always have to fend for myself and keep my guard up.  Now while I might say these things, there was a time where I rarely ever took my own advice.

The next guy came along and I fell head over heels (again).  Such a hard fall, I probably could have broken a leg.  This second relationship ended in a similar way than my AOL man.  It was suddenly very clear that my guard was failing.

I learned that “keeping my guard up” doesn’t always mean I won’t be affectionate with someone or be a completely frigid “jende” to them.

Keeping my guard up means I know that people come into my life for reasons and seasons, and it is up to my best judgement and wisdom to decide how they will be a part of my life.

I don’t want to get hurt, NOBODY DOES.  But it inevitably just happens.  Getting hurt can happen as easily as Kim Kardashian’s “marriage” to Kris Humphries.

I’m sure some of you joonies (either past or present) have a certain someone that pops into your mind when you’re reading this.  You might even be screaming at yourself for bringing your guard down or feel a little disappointed in yourself because you thought you “finally got the hang out of it” (in regards to relationships).

NEWS FLASH:  I don’t think you can ever get the “hang” of the game of love because it is different in every round.

I know there are probably some people out there who think: “But love is the greatest thing on this Earth!  I would die without love.”

You really need to find a hobby.

People like this have usually never been single for that long and don’t know what it’s like to not be with someone for more than a few days at a time.

BACHEH STEPS:

Talking about guys in general will take months to write about, but talking about PERSIAN guys… weellll, not so much ;)

Persian guys are a different breed of men.  They’re not like sefeed boys.

Trust me– I’m not biased- I’ve gone for both kinds. Does anyone else remember Zack Morris from SAVED BY THE BELL?  I love me some Zack Morris.

With Persian guys, I feel like you should always have your guard up.  One day, they’re calling you, taking you out, and the next day- they’ve fallen off the face of the planet.  Am I right?

I really do say this out of love, ladies.  Because how would you feel if you meet a “great” guy and all of a sudden, he cuts off ALL communication?  Or you see him with another girl?  Or he doesn’t act how “he used to?” There really is NO way of feeling out a situation.  But just know that if you keep your guard up, you won’t get hurt when these things happen.

Don’t confuse “keeping your guard up” with living under a rock with no friends or lovers.  Go out and experience life, just be cautious.

Just know that you do not need a Persian guy (or anybody for that matter) to get validation that you’re beautiful and deserve the best. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want (I’m not talking about tala-digging), I am talking about having open and honest communication with someone special, showing your true self, speaking your mind and feeling special in any way shape or form.

Just as Persian men are an entirely different breed of men, Persian women are a WHOLE other story. 

I’ve come to the realization that if a Persian guy has never been in a relationship with a Persian girl, then he does not know what’s he is in for and will probably get so confused that it will just result in him being “Hot & Cold” (as Katy Perry put it).

Dokhtars: know that if a guy you are dating hasn’t dated a girl like you then he will obviously be overwhelmed by your beauty and fabulosity that most pesars cannot handle.

THE INTIMIDATING FACTOR:

Hopefully, you value a good education, a successful career and morals (as we are raised to value in our Irooni culture).  Pesars in general who are used to “hoes” are surprised and challenged by the ladies who possess these qualities.  And while sometimes, they think they can handle it, they really can’t.

A guy might get intimidated by a beautiful woman and is afraid of rejection.  Especially if she’s well-educated — he might feel like he’s not good enough.  Do you really want to be with a boy who can’t handle you and your awesomeness? UM NO.

It’s simple really: If a guy can’t see how amazing you are, then he is NOT worth it.  If a pesar (guy) is intimidated by you then you can keep him in the friend zone.  He doesn’t deserve to be with you anyway.  

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US 

Check me out at: www.doozyfab.com

Love always,

DOOZYFAB دوزی فب
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Comments

  1. Is english a second language for this girl? She puts her heart and “sole” into everything?

    “If you know breaking up is going to end up happening, then it’s better you’re just prepared.” Seriously, this is a horrible misuse of the english language.

    AZIZAM, go back and edit your writing!!!

    On a different note, I don’t think Persian men are a different breed of men but I do agree that those of them that are not accustomed to dating/hooking up with a Persian girl are unprepared. Its as if they have to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex all over again. :)

    • Hey Sara joon,

      Thanks for the catch- hehe I’m embarrassed to say, but that was all totally my fault. I was visiting my family this last week and I had to edit this post at 2 am so they wouldn’t catch me on GOD FORBID, a sex blog… OBVIOUSLY, not the best idea. But thank you for letting me know of the mistakes :) hopefully, the post does Doozy justice now :)

      xx,

      Farrah

  2. hahaha @homegirl Sara ^^ Chiallx… it’s a blog… not a bill about to pass through congres….

    and @S&F as always a kick ass post… and I’m not going to lie, though they are cocky, obnoxious, doodool-tala, and bache nane, I wouldn’t trade my tall dark and handsome persians for anything…

  3. Although Doozy makes some valid points, I completely disagree with “keeping your guard up”. Yes, it is important to be smart and not to sell yourself short but what’s the point in being involved with someone if it’s just half-assed? Coming from a girl who’s done the single thing and has been involved with her fair share of “doodool talah” assholes, I have to say that all that hurt is what makes me truly value the relationship I’m now in. I don’t know if I’d know his worth if I’d kept my guard up in the past.

    And PS, I have a lot of hobbies, a great education, and fabulous friends and guess what!- I do think love is the greatest thing on earth!

    • Nic I agree with you 100%. One can be an intelligent, mature, reasonable woman and still believe in love and all that comes with it!

  4. saramitra says:

    FYI: the link to http://doozyfab.com/ is not working in the post.

  5. “Dokhtars: know that if a guy you are dating hasn’t dated a girl like you then he will obviously be overwhelmed by your beauty and fabulosity that most pesars cannot handle.

    THE INTIMIDATING FACTOR:

    Hopefully, you value a good education, a successful career and morals (as we are raised to value in our Irooni culture). Pesars in general who are used to “hoes” are surprised and challenged by the ladies who possess these qualities.”

    I think this post is unhealthily ethnocentric; I’m not sure why Persian girls (I am a Persian girl, for the record) often talk about having better morals, not being hoes, etc. than other, non-Persian girls. The recent post – “just say no” talks about how our culture enforces pressure to be pure and clean etc. that makes it hard to girls to say when they’ve been assaulted. But then at the same time, we turn around and put that same pressure on ourselves by acting like we have better morals than those “hoes” who are of course not Persian. Also, why do we even assume “hoes” don’t have good morals and good careers. What does it mean to be a hoe? The distinction I’ve made since high school is that if a girl is hooking up with a lot of guys because that’s what the guys want and she wants to make them happy, that’s not healthy. BUT, if a girl is hooking up with guys because that’s what she wants to do and she’s totally comfortable with it, what’s wrong that? As a sex blog, I hope for more open conceptions of sex.

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