Frat Life & Fessenjoon

Time for another guest post,  but this time- from a male perspective. We talk about persian boys and frat boys too much on this blog, so why not hear it straight from one of the BROs:

College: The utopian playground of any barely-legal male.

The beauty of such an institution rests solely in what you make of your experience there. From the first day I set foot on my university campus, I decided I was going to go big or go home.

My idea of a college experience, however, differs greatly from the idea that my parents had in mind.

You focus on estudy and high GPA” were the first words out of my Father’s mouth as we began the initial campus tour (yes, Persian parents had an unnecessary “eh” sound before most words that start with an “s” for reasons beyond my comprehension). Sure, it’s normal for any parent to want academic success for their child. Besides, what else is college good for if you don’t earn your degree? (Rhetorical question, please stop formulating answers that focus on sex and drinking).

Let’s fast forward to the start of my first semester, when the idea of joining a fraternity began to brew in the crevices of my subconscious. “What’s the big deal?” was my best friend’s reaction.

“My Dad was in a Frat, every guy wants their son to join a Frat.”

He clearly doesn’t know the joys of having Persian parents. So a few weeks pass, and I approach my Parents during a nice family dinner of cheloh-kabab.

“Baba, I’m rushing a Fraternity.”

“Vhat the hell you mean Fraternity? Over my dead body!” he continued.

Finally, I figured out the formula and I’m here to share it with all of you. Follow these easy steps to increase the odds of getting your Persian parents to accept your choice in going Greek.

1) Arrange a meeting with some brothers that are successful in academics, for example the ones that are headed to Law or Medical School.

2) Avoid (at all costs) allowing your parents to come into contact with “that one brother” (you know, the one that’s always drunk).

3) Bend the truth. Sure, Fraternities charge dues every semester that be in the triple digits. Make sure that they don’t hear about this until it’s too late and you’ve accepted a bid, then either take care of the bill yourself (as I did) or guilt them into paying it.

4) Although all Fraternities differ in their pledge process, most of them require you to spend a certain amount of your free time at the Fraternity house. If your parents notice the spare time you spend over there, claim that they are helping you with your studies.

5) Finally, do not (under any circumstances) mention Fraternity-Sorority relations. As far as your parents are concerned, your college does not have any Sororities, or females for that matter.

It should be noted that all Persian parents are not the same (very similar, yet never the same). Remember, I can be reached at my Twitter (@ShaheenNouri) to coach you through any problem you might encounter, as I have probably crossed that bridge already.

At the end of the day, your college experience is just that; YOUR experience. Make it your own and explore the world around you. After all, you’re only young once.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET AT SHAHEEN: @ShaheenNouri

Bro OUT,

Shaheen شاهین
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Comments

  1. absolutely love this!! I’m currently rushing for a sorority at my new school and it’s good to know i’m not the only one who has to convince my parents of the benefits of something I’ll be doing with my own time and paying for by myself… i would LOVE to hear a guest post about a girls experience possibly? If Saaghi and Farah weren’t in sororities yourselves….

  2. arasheht says:

    That’s pretty accurate – except when your parents think they know what a fraternity is and are under the impression that you’re joining a university gang. Try getting that thought out of their head, especially when they’ve seen most of the American Pie movies.

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