Here’s my Number, Call me…Maybe?

JOONS.

There’s been a lot of politic and office blabber as of late– and we all know you joonies bookmark this blog for some sexytime.

Unfortunately, the problem with committing to being a sex blogger is that you have to have sex. And while I’m missing some action in my life right now, I’ve been blessed with some variety in the past because, wouldn’t it be boring if an S&F blogger had sex with only one person?

Wait, scratch that—Wouldn’t it be boring if anyone had sex with only one person?

One is too little. How many is too many?

(or as BiBi would say, where’s the red line?)

Obviously there’s no number that works for everyone, but for the average person of this generation, keeping the number low is going to be difficult– considering people get into relationships at a SNAIL’s PACE.

And we all have needs.

But then again, we all have self-control too.

What an internal battle, huh? And then (if it applies) add the whole “Persian girl stuck in an image conscious culture” element, and BAM, you have a serious number complex.

And I’ve done my fair share of research, asking guys I know from all different backgrounds,

Would you care about a girl’s number?

and a lot of them are very PC with their answer, but if you keep prying, they’ll say

“Well, I wouldn’t ask…but if its high then I mean..you think something’s up…

If its been with guys she was serious with, then it’s fine” 

“I mean as long as its not crazy like 25 or something”

Most of them said this, and I was thinking

“So you’re probably pro-abortion, but you kinda still wanna tell me what to do with my body?” [Read more…]

Slack Jaw This

Hi Joonams,

We got a little political last week and though I’m tempted to go on a rant about the new MEK delisting and how corrupt government is… I’ll refrain myself.

Let’s be honest, MEK doesn’t deserve any face time on this blog. 

But maybe the threat of corruption does especially when it sinks in to your professional life.  I’ve been out of college for two years now – one year spent as a starved intern pining for free tacos every Thursday – and now one year spent in the professional world of employment.

Employment and internships are two very different worlds.

Aside from having to say “yes” to everything (short of bending over) as an intern, you’re only real competition are your fellow interns.  Don’t get me wrong- interns play rough – you’re all fighting for the same thing = one shot, one job.

Interns are like hungry animals fighting over one piece of meat

You’re not necessarily exposed to the underlying gossip and back-end office drama that suddenly becomes available to you as soon as you sign an employment contract.

As an employee of a company or an organization, competition isn’t just your average intern / “I had this idea first” drama – people play dirty.  Fresh meat comes in and all of a sudden, your equals at work are threatened… they’re not just fighting to show you up, they’re fighting to prove something.  They’re fighting to prove that you are somehow lesser than you represented yourself in your interview.

Be real, we all exaggerate a little in our interviews.  Like my Farsi is really THAT good that I can translate a news article in English.  Half the time I don’t even know WTF they say on BBC Persian (jk… kinda).

My first major reality check at work:

Get everything in writing and don’t confide in people until you are 110% sure they got your back. [Read more…]

Tehran: I Have Pride Coming Out The Ass

When my little brother found out I was going to be interviewing Tehran SoParvaz for S&F, he immediately freaked out on the phone and texted me a picture of Tehran to have him sign it (because you can autograph picture texts?).  He said, “Omg Farrah, Tehran is SO COOL and his Farsi is even better than yours.”  

And for once, my brother was right, not only is Tehran intelligent, witty, and straight-up hilarious, he was personable.  I’m pretty much jealous of his amazing Farsi skills.  Talking to him felt like I was catching up with an old friend.  That’s just how you have to be when you’re a personality like Tehran- you have to get people to like you right off the bat and I’m certain that Tehran has no problem doing that. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to be an Iranian these days, and Tehran’s pride for his Iranian and his black heritage is so clearly evident in the way he carries himself and in what he does for a living – it’s inspiring.  We could all learn a thing or two — like Tehran says, we should all have pride coming out of our ass.

So a big thank you to Tehran for being a total bad-ass and for taking the time to talk to us.  And because I was too shy to say anything in Farsi on the phone, “Tehran jooooon, kheyli bahali – key miay khastegari?” 

xo,

Farrah

S&F LOVES TEHRAN SOPARVAZ.

Tehran SoParvaz

- Tell me about yourself…

I was born and raised in D.C.  I love D.C.- it’s my home city.  I went to college and graduate school in D.C.  I still call D.C. my home even though I’m on the road more than I am in D.C. – but that’s why you’ll always catch me with a D.C. hat- D.C. REPRESENT.

My dad is Persian and my mom is black.  My D.C. heritage goes all the way back – my parents are D.C. native.  My mom is a lawyer over at HUD who fights against gentrification in the district.  I did my undergrad and graduate school at George Mason University and I went to Georgetown Law for law school.  I didn’t take the BAR after law school – I have a Master’s in Economics and did a double major in my undergrad in International Politics and Communications.

- What do you do?  How did you get started? 

I host shows – I have a show on BET, I hosted Lil Wayne’s tour that finished about six months ago.  I also hosted a tour for Rick Ross.  I host shows, comedians and I’m just a entertainer in general – a personality – that’s what I prefer.

I used to throw a lot of events- parties and concerts.  It was just a natural onset of being in that environment.

- What was a pivotal moment for you when you were hosting? 

My favorite moment: You know those big Persian concerts that happen in Vegas every Christmas? I hosted the Vegas concert.  The first year I ever did it was four years ago – they put me on stage and I hosted the entire two days.  It was a stellar job, an amazing concert – the energy, the vibe – I’d never been to the Vegas concert before and it was amazing.  I don’t really have a natural fear of speaking in front of people.  Everyone thought I had prepared what I was going to say while I was hosting, but when I went on stage, I just spoke whatever came to my mind.

It felt like a movie.

[Read more…]

Your Mind Too Narrow, You Can’t Be Talking To Me

Hey joonams,

It’s been on a long week- but TANK YOU GOD that tomorrow is Friday.

Did you see how I used “God?” I MUST be an extremist… just kidding …

I grew up in a very different generation than my parents.

My father is an Atheist, my mom blames everything wrong with the world on religion – regardless of whether it’s Islam, Christianity, or Judaism.

But they were born into a Muslim family.  My family is Islamic historically.

My great-grandmother fasts, she covers her hair at all times, she doesn’t eat pork – she was also married off at age nine… but if you think that is what being Muslim means then you’re f#cking cray.

The only God I’ve ever prayed to is a God who would keep the nightmares about vampires away (Buffy the Vampire Slayer scarred me for life).

My mother taught me to hate Islam and I did.

For a long time, I believed that everything wrong with Iran is a result of Islam including (but not limited to), the ridiculous notions that a woman should cover her hair, marry at a young age, and be stoned to death.

The Islamic Revolution of Iran

But Islam isn’t the reason that “Islamic” countries like Iran and Saudi Arabia are so backwards… to the point where Saudi Arabia wont allow it’s women to drive/vote/wear what they want.

If you really believe that the “Supreme Leader” Ayatollah Khamanei was chosen by a higher power, then you might as well believe that I, Farrah am a Virgin. [Read more…]

Islamophobia Can Suck It.

JOONS.

The way I feel about religion is the way I feel about myself during Puberty. Hate it, but can’t pretend it never happened.

I was raised Muslim. I have issues with the religion, I’m not practicing but there is no doubt that my blood is as Islamic as it gets… you can take a look at my family tree, if you know what I mean.

And for years now, I’ve been observing Islamophobia– passively. I’m not a hijabi,  I can conceal my religious heritage.  And while I’ve never denied being a Muslim, I sure have conveniently left it out of conversations.

Villifying ‘Muslims’, as you know, condemns all Muslims regardless of where they fall on the spectrum of extremism to laissez faire. These past few days, have just been a little too much for me. The movie, Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s article, the protests…

is it an Islamic Awakening, or is the AntiChrist coming?

Either way, many of us kids who grew up with a pretty significant amount of Islamic influence know that

Islam is a religion, but religion is culture. [Read more…]

It Really Hurt When I Fell From Heaven

JOONS.

It’s Sunday night.  By the time I finish writing this post, I have to get ready for work tomorrow, so excuse me while I take my time.

This post is for the boys though I’m certain the ladies will definitely have some input on this one so please don’t be shy.

I don’t know if it’s because the humidity has stopped and I’m not sweating through the day anymore or WHATthef#ck is in the air these days, but I’ve been getting a little more attention than normal lately.  It’s probably because all the less psycho girls are taken- NOT that I like to complain about getting hit on… but it’s a bit much.

Especially when guys use lines like…

Are you a model?”

Um I’m 5’3″ bitch, thanks for rubbing it in.

Just another day in MY life (clearly)

Look I get it… dating is hard and you have to be creative when it comes to meeting people.  And sure, sometimes its nerve-wracking to think of something witty to say to get the girl’s attention.

I understand the pressure guys have to deal with if they want to approach a random girl (just be happy you don’t have to give birth). [Read more…]

I Am Not A Whore

One of the downsides to being a blogger, especially an Iranian-American one, is the uncomfortable truth you have to come to terms with: your personal stories are no longer going to be personal. And while we try to share ours in a lighthearted and fun way, there are posts on the pages of this blog that we’ve thought twice about publishing— like the one titled, I Said NoIt has been our choice to share our experiences as victims of rape/sexual abuse, and we expected to hear all sorts of feedback and opinions—S&F is democratic of course.

However, the drawbacks of “nakedly” exposing ourselves are really, absolutely, UNimportant when we realize that we’ve been heard and we’ve reached some people.

Fck our ABEROO (reputation) when one more girl can come to terms with her painful story of sexual assault.

We thank this guest blogger for allowing us to share her story because her courage means the world to us.

Enjoy.

xx,

S&F

I was 19 and I had just started university.  I was excited to meet new people and to be a part of the student life– and the freedoms that came with it.

I moved away from my family home and it was the first time I was actually independent.

No parents

During the first few months at my university, I met a guy and I thought he was amazing.  We started dating and eventually, he became my boyfriend… my first boyfriend. I had never been with a guy before in any kind of way and I wanted to take things slow. 

One night, I invited him to my student hall and we ended up kissing.  Things got heated. When I felt that he was turned on there, I started to panic and asked him to stop.

He didn’t stop and he took off my jeans, the whole time making me feel guilty for saying no and reassuring me that it’s normal because “we are together.” [Read more…]

Yeah, She’s D for D.

ayy JOONAMS

Hope we made the early week a little more bearable  for you guys with a little humor on the tumbLOLr (tumble here).  As for myself, I’ve been putting this song on REPEAT…mourning over the fun/careless summer I never had #firstworldproblems #momoneymoproblems

hit play if you feel like your summer was unjustly cut short, too.

Do you know what’s great about speaking another language a.k.a Persian/Farsi?

The sh!t talking.

Yes, we’re all guilty of being mean in our mother tongue. It’s a privilege we use and abuse.

And its not just Iranians– anyone with the advantage of a second language can and does do it. I swear my nail lady is always talking smack about me in a voice that’s barely above a whisper.  However, for my friends and I- Farsi doesn’t cut it anymore.

In California: Talk Shit, Get Hit. Especially if its in Persian. The chance that someone in the room understands you is more than 50%, and the chance that you’re talking about a Persian is even higher.

So when all else fails, we use acronyms. And this was a long-winded introduction for our most meaningful one yet:

D for D = Desperate for D!CK [Read more…]

Riding In Cars With Boys

JOONIES:

It’s official- summer is ending.  I haven’t really felt any humidity for a few days, the AC is officially off… not that I’m a fan of humidity or anything, but is it just me or did this summer go by REALLY FAST?

Now I have to prepare for snow and freezing cold weather- we all know how well that will turn out #CaliGirlForLife.  Bring on the face masks.

At least it’s pretty

When I was younger… before the drama hit the fan and I had to assume a shit ton of responsibility and act like a parent… my mom and I had a very special relationship.

She would excuse me from class so that we could have mother/daughter days.  She used to take me shopping on a biweekly basis.  We would sit and talk for hours about everything going on in my life- I would confide in her about boys, friends, my secrets (not relating to sex OBVS).

My mom was the first person I would tell if I had a new boyfriend.  Of course, our “sharing” had guidelines.

1.  Never ever tell her if I had hooked up/given head/made out shamelessly in my high school boyfriend’s car.

2.  NEVER admit to ditching class as much as I did.

3. And most importantly, never show any weakness if a boyfriend broke up with me and I was sad AKA NO CRYING.

THAT was non-negotiable– because to her, crying over a boy was as bad as killing someone. [Read more…]

Ashley: I Thought My Middle Name Was “Joon”

Joonies,

We’re pretty picky here at S&F specifically with the men we date, the friends we keep, and the people we choose to feature on our blog.  But like many of the other amazingly talented Iranian Americans doing big things– Ashley Momtaheni is truly one of a kind.  There aren’t a lot of people out there who are wildly successful, but manage to stay incredibly sweet, easy to talk to, and truly courageous. 

I walked away from this interview feeling like I had actually learned something– just hearing about the lessons that Ashley’s learned through her experiences and her accomplishments is jaw dropping.  I literally hung up the phone with her and felt a sudden urge to go save the world (I obviously didn’t, but you get what I’m saying). The best part? Ashley got one step closer to her dream job after our interview with a new position at Warner Brothers and S&F couldn’t be happier for her.  We wish Ashley all the best and hope that you joonies walk away from this interview as awestruck as I was.

xo,

Farrah

ASHLEY MOMTAHENI: RISK TAKER. HALFIE. JOONMAGNET

To the right

- Tell me about yourself… 

I was born and raised in New York.  I grew up in a town called Scarsdale, which is 25 minutes outside of Manhattan.  I’m a halfie- my father is Persian and my mom is actually this 5 foot 10 blonde hair, blue eyed “glamazon” woman.  I have a brother who’s five years older.

The experience I had growing up partially in Manhattan opened my eyes and allowed me to learn about the Iranian culture in a different way.

I grew up very close with my father’s side of the family.  Most of our relatives- his siblings- have moved to the U.S. since the Revolution.  They’re scattered between Florida, DC, Virginia and New York.  I always had a strong connection with that side of my family and then this extended family that consisted of people my father knew when he was growing up in Iran.  They came here together to study and work– they’ve been like aunts, uncles, and cousins — I grew up with their kids.

I learned about my Iranian culture through this extended family, as well as my family on the East Coast. 

Although, I didn’t grow up in a fully Persian household — I was still immersed in the culture.  My mother can cook Persian food better than my dad can.  It was awesome to see my mother adapt to the culture.

I’ve never been to Iran but, it’s on my bucket list. [Read more…]

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