There’s been a lot of politic and office blabber as of late– and we all know you joonies bookmark this blog for some sexytime.
Unfortunately, the problem with committing to being a sex blogger is that you have to have sex. And while I’m missing some action in my life right now, I’ve been blessed with some variety in the past because, wouldn’t it be boring if an S&F blogger had sex with only one person?
Wait, scratch that—Wouldn’t it be boring if anyone had sex with only one person?
One is too little. How many is too many?
(or as BiBi would say, where’s the red line?)
Obviously there’s no number that works for everyone, but for the average person of this generation, keeping the number low is going to be difficult– considering people get into relationships at a SNAIL’s PACE.
And we all have needs.
But then again, we all have self-control too.
What an internal battle, huh? And then (if it applies) add the whole “Persian girl stuck in an image conscious culture” element, and BAM, you have a serious number complex.
And I’ve done my fair share of research, asking guys I know from all different backgrounds,
“Would you care about a girl’s number?“
and a lot of them are very PC with their answer, but if you keep prying, they’ll say
“Well, I wouldn’t ask…but if its high then I mean..you think something’s up…”
“If its been with guys she was serious with, then it’s fine”
“I mean as long as its not crazy like 25 or something”
Most of them said this, and I was thinking
“So you’re probably pro-abortion, but you kinda still wanna tell me what to do with my body?”
On the other hand, some girls are even worse. Since we share everything with our girlfriends (where TMI was born), we get a fair share of judgment and ideology from them too.
“Yeah, that’s too high of a number”
“Aren’t you worried about your number?”
“OMG, I’d DIE if I had to live with that number”
Sometimes guys are more easy going than girls about this whole “issue”. Because a lot of them are aware of HOW much they get away with.
If a guy says he’s had more than 20 partners, not many people would think twice. A girl? Somehow she’s branded with Desperate & Easy.
And this is something WE all help perpetuate together. Its not a product of just male domination anymore, as Iranian-American girls–we’ve bought into it too.
And we worry. and we get anxiety, and we think
“Can I live with admitting that I’m going to have multiple sexual partners, and maybe not all of them will be my boyfriend?”
Here’s my two cents, that I think logically makes sense:
The number is none of his business, but it is definitely yours.
The only person you have to answer to is YOURSELF. People have different thresholds. So, if you don’t like the idea of having sex with a lot of people– don’t do it.
But don’t deny yourself the pleasure of having sex, because you’re too preoccupied with the anxiety of how many.
That’s like spooning Nutella AND counting the calories. Who does that?
And even if your girlfriends try to give you grief, if you’re confident that you had sex WHEN you wanted to and WITH WHO you wanted to, then tell them to grab a jar of Nutella and take the stick out of their ass.
Often times, the girls who MOST worry about their numero, are the PSYCHO-CLINGERS that guys avoid like the plague. Because they feel like they need to leech onto whatever and whoever, for the sake of keeping a number down. So essentially, they settle because they don’t want to run the risk of being branded “Desperate and Easy” OR… a WHORE.
Because surely, it makes a lot of sense to give up personal happiness just to make sure no one talks sh!t on you.
For a brief minute, I fell victim to the number complex. Because I sat down and started thinking ..hmmm, are there long-term consequences to my short-term actions? But then I decided, those long-term consequences were diseases, pregnancy, and hurt feelings– NOT oh what would the future khastegar (suitor) think.
Today, our lives are so different than our parents’ than any past generation. We’re single for MUCH longer. We live alone for MUCH longer. And we make waaay more $$$.
In essence, we have more options: I can take the time to figure out who I am, before I jump into a commitment.
Now that sort of independence is a luxury, but sometimes I feel like I treat it as a burden. Almost like an Hermes Birkin that gathers dust.
And any time I start to worry about the little number line in my head, I just remember how good the sex was. So I say, F#CK the guys who ask…because they should know better. Wait for them to grow up.
Worrying about your “Number” in your 20s is an insecurity, just like how you worried about your hair or body in high school. And whenever I look back at old pictures, it was never as bad as I imagined.
Yaknow what I mean?
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