I feel like it’s been awhile since I’ve written about sex — I’ve been so stuck in my “corruption/people suck” phase that I almost forgot what this blog is really about. S.E.X.
Or maybe it’s because I’ve been having so much sex lately (jk kinda) that I almost feel awkward writing about it because I feel like someone is going to tell on me (knowing the Persian community, they’re probably three steps ahead of all that).
Oh well. If you’re dating/f#cking me, you’re collateral damage. #sorrynotsorry.
^^ That was my last boyfriend’s reaction when I posted about him.
JUST KIDDING: He was NOT happy (click here).
Good sex comes with practice, bad sex comes naturally.
I don’t think it’s presumptuous to assert that in the beginning, sex can be awkward, slightly painful, and if you are anything like me– you had no idea what the f#ck you’re supposed to do when you’re on top. I had this illegitimate fear of breaking their penis… then I realized that shit happens. :-/
My lack of sex education resulted in a lot of plain old missionary and awkward attempts to avoid eye contact (who am I kidding – eye contact still freaks me out sometimes… I blame my Daddy issues).
My sex face was probably more closely aligned with this (minus the food in my teeth… I hope):
But like we always say, practice makes perfect – in all forms: sex, orgasms, work, school, all of the above.
For me, orgasms were unattainable. I had never experimented – I didn’t really know what it was supposed to feel like. I remember going to second base and it feeling good, and thinking “okay, maybe that’s it.” Until my friend said, “Oh no, you WILL know when it happens.”
And she was so right. My first orgasm was at 16 when my boyfriend and I went to second base, and it literally felt like I lost complete control of my body. A part of was absolutely horrified and had no idea what was going on – but the other part of me just didn’t want it to end.
And when something feels that good, it’s only natural that you would want to feel it over and over and over again.
Orgasms are more than a drug – it’s a necessity.
It’s healthy – in fact, I think it’s necessary to have an orgasm once every other day (if I’m being PC). And after my first orgasm, I was always anticipating when it would happen again. When I would be able to lose control. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen again until after high school.
* At the end of the day, high school boys are as confused as I was when it came to covering all the bases. Luckily, it took only one try to learn that teeth are probably NOT such a good idea…
Not that college guys are so experienced and so in tune with reading a girl’s body, but I became more comfortable with showing HIM what to do. I mastered experimentation and I knew what HE would have to do to help ME — and I wasn’t afraid to let him know.
But as with any relationship – people get comfortable. Once you got the title, you let yourself go.
Girls stop shaving their legs, guys stop making you come.
There’s this stigma that it’s harder to make girls finish. That because guys can finish through sex and not all girls can — it somehow means we have an impossible time achieving the orgasm. But that was just the excuse of one lazy mother f#cker who started the whole rumor that girls are impossible to make come.
As if choking, moving your neck up and down for x minutes, readjusting your gag reflex is easy work.
Last I checked– it takes two people to have sex (or one awesome vibrator).
And if he’s going to ultimately have an orgasm then fair is fair. Our balls may not hurt if we don’t come, but sex just isn’t as good if we can’t be satisfied completely.
Teach your man. And let’s hope that the “men” out there are strong enough to be able to handle some direction– because all good things are rewarded. And blow jobs/sex are just more fun if we’re guaranteed satisfaction too.
Having sex with no finish is almost as bad as getting paid less than men do in the workplace.
We all deserve equal pay.
TWEET AT ME: @FARRAH_JOON