So this might be my last post … forever because “Hurricane Sandy” is planning to make an appearance to the East Coast and I might drown. Okay – maybe not so dramatic, but I don’t really do well with rain. So excuse me while I play the victim card and plan for a simpler life in sunny CALI.
Enough of that — I don’t know what it is, but whenever I’m actually having sex, I don’t really feel the need to talk about it. It’s when I’m not having sex that I’m like OMG remember when…
And that’s exactly how I’m feeling tonight – I need to get some ass in my life and who knows why the f#ck it’s not happening. I remember when I first started having sex — I was very pro-missionary. And not because I thought it felt so ahhhh-mazing, but because I was too shy to do anything else.
If you’re too shy to f#ck the way it’s meant to be, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex.
Or you just need practice. <– #TRUTH
When I was finally introduced to the world OUTSIDE of missionary — I couldn’t even believe what I’d been missing out on.
As feel-good as missionary can be — the great thing about sex is that there is always something new and fun to try.
And sometimes it’s just awkward.
I’m not going to get too crazy with the following sex positions because there’s iPhone apps for that, but let’s summarize:
- TOP IT OFF:
I was terrified to try being on top. For some reason, I thought that it wouldn’t feel good for them if I didn’t do it “right” or worst case scenario: I might break their penis. Breaking dicks is a true life case — but not one that happens if you aren’t being a total whack-job.
My first time on top taught me a valuable lesson: You do what feels good for you… because no matter what, it’s going to feel good for them.
Plus they always have the view to keep them company.
Not to mention, it’s incredibly sexy when a guy can take control and guide your hips.
- DOGGIE THIS:
Doggie-style seems to be the real crowd pleaser. But is it just me or does it turn ALL men into the 2 minute man? Is it because it just feels tighter? Are they unable to handle body parts shaking…? You tell me.
You have two main options with doggie- style:
1. You use it when you want to just please your man and get your ass to bed (pun intended). BAM. DONE.
2. You wait till their tipsy and if you’re lucky, they don’t get drunk dick and you can go for as long as you want. Forget your inhibitions, you do it the way it’s meant to be done – when the body shaking feels good for both people
- SIT UPS:
I’m not going to lie and say it’s all about “f#cking” — sometimes you want to be the close to the person – regardless if you’re a man or a woman. It’s inevitable, especially if you like the person.
The more emotion is involved, the better you can read each other’s body, and the more bomb the orgasm. Or you’re just some sort of sex wizard and you can read EVERYONE’s body (unlikely).
Being the shy girl that I am (lol) – the thought of doing things like doggie style were just foreign. I thought it was weird, I thought it was slutty to want it from behind and get your hair pulled – but turns out, we all have needs. Some guys like having sex in the bathroom — personally, I find that slightly unsanitary and as Persians, I know we all have an inner germophobe but you do what you gotta do.
Comfort doesn’t come naturally. Sex is personal – it takes confidence and trust.
Let’s be honest – how many people are going to see your O-FACE in your lifetime?
Growing up in a community where we’re encouraged to further our image doesn’t really leave much room for building confidence and comfort. We’re repeatedly told don’t do that. We judge people for f#cking around even though we might be guilty of the exact same thing.
We’re on the never-ending merry-go-round. It gives me the spins sometimes when people bash others for wanting to throw down some guy on their bed or “hating” the girl at the party who made out with some guy (while you’re secretly making out in the dirty bathroom). Who cares?
All that constant negativity doesn’t really teach us to have good sex … or even safe sex. We end up experimenting — which is good, but isn’t always great. We leave a lot of room for mistakes – whether it’s cramping while your legs are in the air (unavoidable) or ending up with some sleazy guy who’s just going to end up screwing you the way you really don’t want to be screwed.
Wisdom comes with mistakes. And if you’re smart, you won’t let it happen again. But so much of that bad shit can just be avoided. For me – sex became easy when I tried new positions with someone I trusted. Whether you trust a boyfriend or a friend, it doesn’t really matter… sex can be great regardless. Who wants to be the person who was too scared to try anything more than missionary? Not me.
We just have to have the balls to say we want it.
So here’s to wanting it.
TWEET AT ME: @FARRAH_JOON