It’s been awhile since we’ve had a guest post and what better way to kick off the eve of HUMP DAY than with a very special post from one of our readers. This post combines all of our favorite things: social media, relationships, and doodool-talas. Enjoy and drop her a line in the comments!
I think its the curse of being brown that most men especially your typical brown Pakistani men (I will talk about my own males because I am blessed with God gifted rights to railroad them) think that they can literally walk over you.
They can get to know you in the name of friendship, play with you, treat you like shit and when they are all done, their arrogant ass can throw you away.
Most of the time, they prefer that you will stick to them inspite of the emotional abuse that they are throwing at you (after all, you wouldnt be a faithful partner/girlfriend, if you didnt right?).
It’s hard-wired in their brains that all Paki chicks – especially the ones who live in the West, live independent lives, go to school, and have successful careers – are actually “whores.”
So let me introduce you the douche of the week, lets give him a name… how about “Anas,” (I hope all the Anas out there wont take offense to it).
Anas and I met through twitter-verse. He had my weakness – I like politically-enlightened guys (yes, I am a nerd like that). I enjoyed his tweets like I do for a lot of people, and we started talking about our political interests. He ended up connecting me with some influential contacts to help me with my research (I was so happy that I could scream my lungs out).
It was awesome to work with him and everything was really great until Anas asked me about FWB (friends with benefits) uh oh. I was a little surprised, but I thought, who cares man, maybe this guy is having a quarter-life crisis. Plus he had been so sweet with me, so why not help walk him through it.
There was my first mistake.
Lesson 1: Even if someone is on their deathbed, they are not your concern — direct them to the nearest psychiatrist. Especially if they’re brown.
So it moved from their desire to have a f#ck buddy to asking me to be theirs (are you fucking kidding me) and they were so fucking persistent even after I had said no zillion times.
I honestly want to know, why do all these confused living-with-their-parents mama boys think that a strong independent woman is someone they need to conquer with their sexuality to appease their male pride?
I find it extremely insulting that here I was lending an ear, trying to help return a favor cos someone has been kind to me (I am a stickler for rules like that), and they thought that they could indeed ask me for sexual favors.
Lesson 2: Nothing comes free in life, except for death and taxes.
Why would you pursue me especially when I said “NO?” Is it a typical male psychology that NO means YES? (Sounds more like rapist psychology).
I thought this person was in some way my intellectual equal = a feminist, a leftist, and had an interest in all the amazing things in the world — I thought we would be great colleagues. I wanted to learn from them and work on something bigger with them than my current projects (talk about disappointment).
Imagine my disappointment when he turned out to be the biggest closeted douche that ever existed in my life (falling into all the typical male Paki stereotypical category).
It’s not like I’ve never been cat-called or I haven’t been pursued/harassed by random brown guys in both my virtual life and in my real life.
My point is that even the most “enlightened” folks – whose stances in political/social topics you admire – can be definite douches.
They think that they have huge advantage over all these other guys, just because they have huge fan following and admiration in the wider circle. They actually believe that you can talk about their doucheyness openly because no one will believe you for a second.
In such instances, you either lose all your respect for them and walk away, not knowing what would have happened if things were actually civil or you become a robot and do whatever they want you to do.
Bottom line: Beware of douche-bags, you have no idea which cloak they are disguised in…
TWEET AT ME: @Ashsultana