The Wolf Trap

Hey joonies, 

It’s been awhile since we’ve had a guest post and what better way to kick off the eve of HUMP DAY than with a very special post from one of our readers.  This post combines all of our favorite things: social media, relationships, and doodool-talas.  Enjoy and drop her a line in the comments!

I think its the curse of being brown that most men especially your typical brown Pakistani men (I will talk about my own males because I am blessed with God gifted rights to railroad them) think that they can literally walk over you.

They can get to know you in the name of friendship, play with you, treat you like shit and when they are all done, their arrogant ass can throw you away.

Most of the time, they prefer that you will stick to them inspite of the emotional abuse that they are throwing at you (after all, you wouldnt be a faithful partner/girlfriend, if you didnt right?).

It’s hard-wired in their brains that all Paki chicks – especially the ones who live in the West, live independent lives, go to school, and have successful careers – are actually “whores.”

So let me introduce you the douche of the week, lets give him a name… how about “Anas,” (I hope all the Anas out there wont take offense to it).

Anas and I met through twitter-verse. He had my weakness – I like politically-enlightened guys (yes, I am a nerd like that). I enjoyed his tweets like I do for a lot of people, and we started talking about our political interests.  He ended up connecting me with some influential contacts to help me with my research (I was so happy that I could scream my lungs out).

It was awesome to work with him and everything was really great until Anas asked me about FWB (friends with benefits) uh oh. I was a little surprised, but I thought, who cares man, maybe this guy is having a quarter-life crisis.  Plus he had been so sweet with me, so why not help walk him through it.

There was my first mistake.

Lesson 1: Even if someone is on their deathbed, they are not your concern — direct them to the nearest psychiatrist.  Especially if they’re brown.

So it moved from their desire to have a f#ck buddy to asking me to be theirs (are you fucking kidding me) and they were so fucking persistent even after I had said no zillion times.

I honestly want to know, why do all these confused living-with-their-parents mama boys think that a strong independent woman is someone they need to conquer with their sexuality to appease their male pride? 

I find it extremely insulting that here I was lending an ear, trying to help return a favor cos someone has been kind to me (I am a stickler for rules like that), and they thought that they could indeed ask me for sexual favors.

Lesson 2: Nothing comes free in life, except for death and taxes.

Why would you pursue me especially when I said “NO?”  Is it a typical male psychology that NO means YES? (Sounds more like rapist psychology).

I thought this person was in some way my intellectual equal = a feminist, a leftist, and had an interest in all the amazing  things in the world — I thought we would be great colleagues.  I wanted to learn from them and work on something bigger with them than my current projects (talk about disappointment).  

Imagine my disappointment when he turned out to be the biggest closeted douche that ever existed in my life (falling into all the typical male Paki stereotypical category). 

It’s not like I’ve never been cat-called or I haven’t been pursued/harassed by random brown guys in both my virtual life and in my real life.

My point is that even the most “enlightened” folks – whose stances in political/social topics you admire – can be definite douches.

They think that they have huge advantage over all these other guys, just because they have huge fan following and admiration in the wider circle.  They actually believe that you can talk about their doucheyness openly because no one will believe you for a second.

In such instances, you either lose all your respect for them and walk away, not knowing what would have happened if things were actually civil or you become a robot and do whatever they want you to do.

Bottom line: Beware of douche-bags, you have no idea which cloak they are disguised in…

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET AT ME: @Ashsultana

XO,

Ayesha عایشه
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Comments

  1. What an egotistical jerk that person was. And what a disappointed for you to think you had met someone who could have made an interesting friend and then turned out to be less than zero.

    Its hard not to feel disappointed, I have no advice or insightful comment – just commiserating with you.

  2. abdul moiz says:

    name him.By not naming him u are allowing him to get away with it.Those pretending to be male feminists,liberals but who in reality are creeps need to be outed publicly because they are more dangerous.They’ve got the world convinced that they are feminists and progressives,so no one suspects these people.

  3. Reblogged this on Logic Monkey and commented:
    Ok this is simply amazing.. the person she is talking about goes by the name of Anas Razzaq, Or Anas Inc or Anas Jutt. He is a PPP supporter based out of the US who spends half the day repeating PPP and essentially pushing their agenda. At times he even takes the liberty of calling himself their SM Team Lead. So all in all a typical Psuedo Educated Leftist Liberal Type.

    But that perception changes the moment you go through this and realize how big of a moron this guy is. He actually has the audacity to harass women and then actually try to force them not to say anything about it.

    I am posting this up from the original website, because people should know. People should know what vultures exist online and what their approach is. Also do remember this is the same guy who cannot shut up about how pro women PPP is. So I am guessing this is what being Pro Women in PPP means now…

    In the wake of this blog, Anas Razzaq has shut off all his Twitter IDs but for the record they were @AnasRazzaq @AnasJutt @EconInc

  4. I don’t know madam how old are you but sooner or latter in your life you will learn this unfortunate truth that man unfortunately is driven by his hormones. The motive remain the same, you could give it different labels but when they say boys only want one thing, they sort of mean it. Clever boys try and target venerable girls (i am not saying you are one) who unfortunately have tendency to form attachments easily along with dependence. I am no one to give you advice but i always spend more time making friends and spending time with them in real life, not in I-world of Internet

  5. This is a response to everything and all the queries, its an addendum to the post;

    Its traumatizing & emotionally abusive when someone reduces you to just a “sexual object” cos of their testosterone levels which they refuse to control cos hey its their male right, no?

    “Its not suppose to be something emotional dude, its just plain old sex I am asking for..its just physical”, I was told, “I just want to fuck you and nothing more…thats what friends do”, he continued. These are the words which ring in my ears, and makes me feel disgusted with myself, everytime I need to re-live that crap.

    Since I wrote “The Wolf Trap”, I am being sent constant text messages and calls on how I should be removing the name used in the blog and the material. That I should be placing some big disclaimer along with the name change from “Anas” to “ABC” cos “realistic name is offensive to people with similar names” [as per our dear Anas].

    I am told “stop treating a friendship like a one night stand and I care for my life and whats attached to it.” Buddy you have some fine definition of friendship, I am not sure where you grew up but I wasnt raised by wolves. You need to stop confusing your “friendship” with your flavour of the day. You do care for your life but you definetley dont care for others, now do you? Others are just plain old disposable.. garbage to be exact.

    And then when I have refused multiple times to do it, I am told “If anything happens to my life in the future you can thank yourself for it. It was of no emotional value. There is so much can happen since you documented a whole real incident. I wouldn’t let your family know about it. Write whatever as an excuse just get my name of it”.

    Errr… like what will happen to your life… Oh now I remember, that everyone will know that you are actually a “creep” pretending to be progressive using liberal and feminist values. That you are actually an opportunist who is looking for vulnerable women so that he can get laid. Basically a huge fraud!! That you are not only an egoistic narcissist, who thinks he can go around and do whatever but there are no consequences none whatsoever for you, cos you are some big shot who is invincible!!!

    I am honestly surprised the guy who is extremely callous pretends to be stud is actually caring about what “stupid”, “psycho” girl have to say which can bring down the empire of his spotless “reputation”.

    And if you think that you have “balls” to act in such manner, then you should also be man-enough to face the consequences. I have zero sympathy for people who are manipulative and exploitative in nature. Just cos you helped me out with a few projects, it absolutely doesn’t mean that I owe you my life and my principles. It absolutely doesnt mean that I will be on the phone listening to your senile arguments of how I owe you that.

    I owe you nothing more and nothing less than my gratitude. I dont owe you my self esteem, my self respect and my freedom of speech.

    Honestly, I might have had a change of heart if you had accepted the responsibility, apologized and said that its not something you intend to with anyone in the future… but OH NO, how can a typical male paki lad think like that, [ it was about how I was twisting the words, how I was misrepresenting something which is absolutely “normal” cos a lot of guys do it and lots of women remain quiet]

    Here is a news flash for you: I am not your average woman, Anas!

    You are not a friend, you wouldnt know the meaning of friendship, if it hit you with a lightning bolt. Friends protect others, care for them, nurture them, not try to feed on them or use them to get what they need.

    I am not your personal slave or someone you boss around at home on a regular basis, Anas!!

    And this is not “bullying” as you insinuated but your texts and calls trying to “persuade” me to change my mind and make me feel guilty for something I am not responsible for, was definetley harassment.

    Take this as a lesson for your future sexual adventures, learn to have proper consent from people rather than make a huge scheme to prey on them.

  6. Zara Malik says:

    Try being civil for a change and stop stereotyping, because it clearly seems you met your match. You deserved Anas, to get your arrogant, bigoted big a$$ kicked where it hurt you the most.

  7. Amjad ( @mrcruizy twitter ) says:

    Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah — FINALLY … Never too late to realize a few things in your life..

  8. Zara Malik says:

    I’ve noticed you on Twitter. You shout like a wild boar, calling everyone a harasser and pervert to any man who gets into an argument with you. You have absolutely no manners on how to accept criticism, and are really full of egotistical nonsense. It’s ironical the way a sick guy Anas shot you down to earth. now live with it for the rest of your life. Had your parents taught you any morals, you’d have known not act like a slut and thus not to attract sexual advances. you are pitiful, and your dark brown complexion shows your desperation.

    • I have no idea what her posts were on twitter but honest to God, one does not need to act like a slut in order to attract sexual advances. Some men are attracted to women who act the complete opposite of slutty…they see them as something to “conquer”

  9. I am confused – I got lost in the thread – who are your comments directed to Zara – I apologize but it isn’t clear to me;can you clarify? Thanks.

    And a quickie comment to the looong post two up from Zara’s – I am not sure where you are in your life (age/emotion/career/life path) cuz it does make a difference as to how things impact you at different stages in your life.

    You have the power to change that by not participating/engaging with anyone who makes you so ……..grrrrr….I don’t have a word to describe how your emotions appeared so I went with a sound effect.

    It helps me – when I am THAT frustrated; to go and do something nice for someone in an anonymous way. It takes all my negativity and twists it into positivity and I just plain feel better for having done that.

  10. escortdiary says:

    I agree! Despite seeming open-minded, intellectual and non-judgemental many men from traditional cultures cannot get away from their cultural roles. They, knowingly and unknowingly, adhere to social norms (that men shall be masculine, and women passive — and women who are not submitting are not desirable candidates for future wives!) Double standard indeed.
    Sahar

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