I’m Coco Chanel

Hey hey joons,

Looks like I owe you all an apology too – for being MIA.  But I’ve been AT work … as in haven’t come home in the past five days.  Man, the real world is not a joke.  Badbakhty keshidim.  (just kidding – love my job, even when it requires me to be serious for five minutes). 

And as you can imagine – being MIA really just means that I have a LOT to tell you all.  I’ve been trying a few new things lately – going to new restaurants, hiking (or just walking a lot), going to the gym, and even dating more seriously (sex is so overrated – LOL I can’t even say that with a serious face).

I’ve always been very closed off when it comes to dating guys seriously.  Most of the time, I just start to feel claustrophobic after awhile because I feel like a guy can keep me from opportunities (unfair — and analysis for a later time). 

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air

But I recognize that flaw in myself and I’ve been trying to overcome it.  Clearly, I’m not doing very well.  I started dating someone in the summer and almost immediately, we branded ourselves with the title (boyfriend/girlfriend).  Not something I’m usually into – but for the sake of being more “open-minded,” I thought #LEGGO.

In the past two-three months, I got a crash course in what a “relationship” really is.

Being someone’s girlfriend comes with a lot of responsibility.  You can’t just tell someone they’re your boyfriend and call it a day.

That’s the problem — when you jump into something, you don’t really realize that there are standards you have to fulfill until it’s too late.

Calling someone your boyfriend or girlfriend after only a few weeks is a desperate act to ensure they won’t sleep with or kiss anyone else while you’re dating them.

You can’t just brand someone with a title because you want them all to yourself.

You have to be willing to make the compromises that come with being in a relationship.  You have to be willing to put in your part — you have to want to do things that will make the other person happy.  And none of that comes easy if you’re not fully committed to the person.

I remember in high school when you would tell a boy you liked him and if the feeling was mutual, he would become your boyfriend – no questions asked.  You would date for two weeks/two months and then you would cry over them for a week when things didn’t work out.

But after awhile, you grow out of that phase and you stop counting your high school relationships as relationships. 

Relationships in your 20’s are so different than high school – and not just for the obvious reasons – but you can’t just sit at home all day and expect that everything will be perfect.  Nothing in life is that easy (unfortunately).  

For me, I can recognize that love/relationships are supposed to be hard work — you have to put the other person first and make them happy.

I guess I’m still trying to figure out if love will make me happy or if my dream job will.

My point here: is it really worth it to have a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend?

If we’re not careful – branding someone as your boyfriend just because is almost as bad as branding someone as a nerd, jock… or a slut.

I am not a slut — and I’m nobody’s girlfriend. 

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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TWEET AT ME: @FARRAH_JOON

ShortAndSWEET,

FARRAH فرح

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Comments

  1. Nah never have a bf just to have a bf. settle only when he’s right- and 9 out of 10 aren’t right so get ready to reject a lot.

    It’s like work you love- you know it when you see it (and feel it). Gotta find partners you love too.

  2. It is indeed a huge thing cos if you are having that brand that someone is your partner/bf esp in desi community, there is this whole notion of marriage and all the jazz in the world attach to it. You are expected to carry it out like a traditional desi marriage where you end up making all the compromises and in most cases, the guy gets to have you as a trophy which he can show around and say “hey she is mine..” so confusing at times.. I know

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