Every so often – we get emails asking for advice or our opinion on a certain situation. Of course, this makes us feel great as sex wizards but — we don’t always have the answer. A lot of times, we are still trying to figure out our own love lives and the best advice we can offer is what we’ve learned through our own experiences.
With that said, we received an email recently asking us for very specific advice. And because we aren’t really sex wizards, we decided to open up the floor to our joonies – help a sista out:
Do Persian men ever marry non-Persian women?
Especially black women.
I am talking about a non-Muslim (he’s Baha’i), Iran born, USA raised man.
Or do they only date people from another ethnicity with no intention of ever marrying them?
Background: I’ve known and been involved with him for about two and a half years. I’ve never met his family — who he lives with. I’ve asked him to be straight with me: is it because I am not Persian or the same religion? He claims no. He says that it’s because once you meet them – then all the floodgates will open and his parents will keep asking when we are going to get married and have kids. I countered that by saying we will just have to explain to his parents that we are not ready for all of that yet especially, financially. To which he said that reasoning will fall on deaf ears.
So ladies, what do you think? Am I barking up the wrong tree with all Persian and Middle Eastern men? Clearly, some of them do marry outside of their race — shout out to Tehran SOParvaz. But, are the odds not in my favor?
To be perfectly honest – when we first read this email, our initial reaction was — move on honey — if he hasn’t done it now, he never will.
But then we look at OUR parents… and there are so many things (like a relationship) that we would keep from them just to make sure they don’t get overly involved… like they always do.
But there’s always a limit, right? There is always a limit to how long you wait, how much you give up, how much you take — and so like with anything else, there should be a limit.
If you don’t enforce it – it won’t happen.
If you want something to happen, then you have to make it happen. We aren’t talking about ultimatums or force — but giving him all the power isn’t exactly going to get you what you want. In a relationship – both people involved should step up… not just the girlfriend and not just the boyfriend.
Joonies – what do you think? Do you agree? What should our reader do?