I Kissed A Boy and I Hated It.

HAPPY FRIDAY! AKA FREEDAY!

Fridays are the best days of the week, because its usually an easy day at work (its casual in every sense of the word), people are in better moods… and I can sit at my desk, stare at my computer and just contemplate LIFE.

or penguins.

penguin

Today, I was thinking about Kissing.

Because before there was Sex & Fessenjoon, there was BOOS & Fessenjoon.

No one hits a home run without at least going for first base. (question: is kissing still first base?) And so much of intimacy really is… boos boosing, or making out, OR frenching, or whatever you want to call it. A lot of people remember their first kiss and for some, it was with someone they really liked.

For me, I don’t really remember or attach that much significance to the first kiss. It happened much later for me, at the end of high school, but I’m really hazy on the exact way it happened and if there was tongue involved or not? There were no fireworks or sparks, I assure you.  But I will tell you joonies this, ever since I started kissing, I haven’t wanted to stop.

Unless you’re a bad kisser, in which case we call that a #DEALBREAKER.

deal

A good kiss can really turn you on, and it can make you a memorable hook up. A bad kiss will make the other person run for the hills– no matter how hot you are, or how great your personality is. There is no set formula on how to be a good kisser, but there are some common DO’s and common DON’T’s.

1. DO kiss someone you’re attracted to:

Attraction is the foundation on which Good Kissing is built. There have been nights that Alcohol has helped me find my attraction to a person, I’m not going to lie. Maybe I would have never enjoyed kissing them if I was a Sober Sally. But the ends justify the means here.

When I’ve kissed someone I had 0 feelings for, it felt like I was making out with cold cuts. And no one wants to get freaky in the deli aisle.

EWWW.

2. DO nibble and bite:

kiss

Now I give this advice with caution but personally, I’m a biter. and Good kissing is a lot pleasure mixed with a little pain. and it can be great for a little surprise, if you do it out of nowhere- sends the other person’s senses for a loop!

3. DO make friendly with Altoids, Listerine, and Tic Tacs.

A synonym for bad breath is, BUZZ KILL. Sometimes its hard, when a kiss happens suddenly and you don’t want to kill the moment by “let me get my purse for a second..” but in those situations, usually both people have sub-par breath, and its not a big deal. But when you can prepare, like a spray of perfume or cologne, go for the mint!

4. DO use Chapstick.

Dry lips never looked good on anyone, and if the person wanted to make out with sandpaper– they’d make a trip to Home Depot.

————————————————

1. DON’T tongue anyone down.

I hate when someone forces their tongue into my mouth, it brings back these repressed memories of when I was force-fed vegetables as a kid. Tongues weren’t meant to be choked on. A little bit here and there is great, when there’s some massaging and some poking in-and-out… but really that’s where it ends.

Don’t set off someone’s gag reflex, or the hook up will soon turn ugly.

couple

2. DON’T eat their face off.

Just because you didn’t eat dinner so you could fit into your dress for the night, does not give you the right to substitute that person’s face for a meal.

Above I said nibbling and biting, but it can be overdone. I’m guilty of it. When I get drunk, I tend to not realize how hard and often I’m biting. So when my guy doesn’t want to make out with me, I get drunk-offended… until he explains the next morning that I was hurting him.

OOPS.

3. DON’T groan or grunt.

I think this is prettyyyy self-explanatory. But Kissing barely needs any sound effects, maybe a slight whisper of a moan or sigh– but if a make-out sessions sounds like sex, then that’s just… disturbing.

4. STOP TALKING.

I’m guilty again, sometimes I’ve ruined some good kissing by my need to multi-task with my mouth. But I guess there’s some miscommunication to when the conversation has ended, and hooking up has commenced. And the worst type of talking is the INSECURE BABBLING. (guilty of again)

Don’t ruin a good moment by asking questions like “Do you like me?”, “What does this hook up mean?”, “Are things going to get awkward between us?” Talking and Kissing don’t go together. So shut the brain off.

These are all I could think of for now, Any more tips you guys want to share?

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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TWEET ME: @SAAGHI_JOON

BOOS BOOS,

SAAGHI  ساقی
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Comments

  1. yeah ..Control your saliva even if your super excited…my ex , lets just leave it to that!

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