ALL I DO IS LIN.

Joons,

My new obsession: SWEDISH HOUSE MAFIA- GREYHOUND. Even if you’re not a clubhead, you have to admit the beat is sick,brah. I think I could eat fessenjoon or have sex to this song, (or run a marathon) and thats why its S&F worthy.

You can listen to it in the new ABSOLUT commercial, thats part TRON/part ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

Now we’re not gonna say its RACISM week, like they try to call out BLACK HISTORY MONTH & INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY…but I think Farrah brought about how us Iranians can be the victims of some very nasty profiling ….

but lets talk about how us Iranians can be some nasty racists, now I realize thats a loaded term, but lets be real– we can get pretty bad.

Sometimes I think we worship our “blood” as if we were tracing it back to GOLD. The ARYAN thing was dispelled a few months ago, and clearly, our oppressive theocracy should humble our superiority complex–no?

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We gettin’ ARAB MONEY $

Hola joonies. We’re about to make some of you very mad. (boys—lookin at you!)

So if you weren’t aware before, Iranians have this hate-hate relationship with Arabs. To all the white people reading, no we’re not all the same thing.  Different religion, different cultures, VERY different political agendas.

Obama bows to Saudi King

It’s a broad spectrum:

- The Iranians that strongly hate Arabs: they believe the Arabs were conniving conquerors, impregnating our beloved Iran with Islam and so bringing on allll the present trouble we face today (ISLAMIC REPUBLIC of Iran)

- The Iranians that mildly hate Arabs: because of the Sunni/Shiite divide, and/or cultural differences “Arab-hayeh malakh-khor” =  Grasshopper eating Arabs.

- The Iranians that just hate Arabs, because…well habit.

Luckily, I grew up in a non-racist household (SORT OF) or my parents just forgot to teach me how to hate Arabs.

I actually love everything about them. Their language, their music, and of course, their MEN!

When it comes to men, Arabs are just MONEY

And you can consider this video the theme song of this post:


(and for all those who are going to complain about the use of quranic verses in this video—from one muslim to another, calm down and be glad they’re in a Busta video and not AlQaeda’s)

In the game of Arab men vs. Iranian men, I’m sorry to say Arabs WIN. It is not really about net worth, they’re not all wealthy– they just have unbelievable swagger. Most Persian guys just look feminine compared to Arab guys. Maybe its that our ancestors were chillin’ in palaces (see: PERSEPOLIS), and Arab’s were surviving the not-so-friendly climate of the desert and figuring out tribal warfare. Maybe that’s when they started to win.

Arabs on camels.

Or maybe, its that Iranians love to pretend they are aristocratic and refined (how many of you were forced to learn FRENCH?), and Arabs don’t mind being diiirttyyy (if you know what I mean) and…well, Arab.

why are their men touching him?

The hottest Persian guy could pass for a girl.

Whatever it is, I personally LOVE it. And if any girl has dated/seen enough Arab guys, they’ll agree with me. And obviously, they have a huge advantage- there are SO many of them: Egyptians, Lebanese, Syrians, Algerians, Morroccans…etc (what’s your favorite flavor ;)?

I remember my earliest crush was on my Lebanese Sunday School teacher, Mr. Al. He had green eyes and brown hair, and was a great distraction from all the BS I had to listen to. It was very unfortunate that he was married with children.

When I was 18, almost immediately after dating an Iranian guy, I started dating a Lebanese guy. It was wonderful. The Arab didn’t complain, he didn’t talk about his MOM, and he didn’t do his eyebrows. He had a take it or leave it personality and he got shit done, and it was such a TURN ON. Even though he wasn’t as good looking as my Persian ex, he was so much SEXIER. I wanted to undress him everytime he walked in the room.

I’m sure there are great Persian guys out there- but you’re all downright INSECURE. Is my nose too big? Are my eyebrows arched enough? Is my doodool too small? Am I too hairy? Look, only girls get to be that insecure– and even then its fucking foolish. Arabs wear their traditional garb, they speak Arabic like they’re about to choke on something, and they grow moustaches and beards– and they OWN it. When’s the last time you saw a Persian guy flashing his lebaseh mahali (traditional village outfit) instead of his Mercedes and Prada?

If Arabs worry about this stuff, they’re good at hiding it because you don’t see them walking around looking like this:

Instead you have this: (soccer players, heirs, and princes- take your pick!)

yeah zidane’s arab.

Hariri, one of the world’s youngest billionaires

Hamdan, Prince of Dubai

How Do I love Arab $$$ ? Let me count the ways:

1. Bad Boys: They are the Persian girl’s bad boy. Siyaah’s (black guys) are the forbidden fruit, but Arabs are the snake. Your parents will not approve of the Arab, and that makes them that much more desirable. When it comes to white and black guys, some may lack flavor and culture– so Arab guys are the next best thing.

2. Aggressive: Like I said, they’re not afraid of getting down and dirty. Arabs are the Russians of the Middle East, and Iranians are the French.

3. The way they treat women: Wherever your Arab man is from, you can expect him to be 100% jealous and possessive at all times– and us persian girls, we LOVE that. Deny it all you want, but deep down- if you’re man doesn’t care where you are and who you’re with, you think something’s deeply wrong.

I’m prepared to take the hatemail for this – I’m expecting some really awesome emails. and hey, I’ll even post some of them :) so feel free to defend yourselves, persian boys.

FACEBOOK US

sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

LOVE YOU HABIBIS,

saaghi  ساقی
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