My DooDool Is Made of Gold

Hey Joonies,

It’s been a long day.  I’m tired. I just went on a cleaning rampage and now I feel like my entire body reeks of bleach. But shit needs to get done – ya feel me?

All I want to do tonight is relax and laugh.  

I’m going to pretend like I wasn’t planning to go for a run tonight – ugh why is running so hard? Better question is, why is it so much easier to eat something like this:

cupcakwe

Bomb

My type in food is … NO DISCRIMINATION – I love it all – minus the weird stuff, like cow tongue, cow BALLS, kalehpacheh, and all the weird shit our culture claims is okay to eat.

When it comes to dating, my type is starting to become more of a disappointment/ball buster than a night well spent.

I have a tendency to go for the unemployed, douchey, mama’s boys.

I’m not really sure what the appeal is in that — wish I could say that they’re really packing it (if ya know what I mean). But the reality is they’re equally lacking in that area.

#khaktosarem / #mommyissues?

Men who don’t have a lot to offer have a tendency to overcompensate in an effort to hide their true colors until you’re hooked. [Read more...]

Keep Your Man and His Hands to Yourself

Happy Friday!  When it comes to a relationship — some of us just can’t handle being alone (wtfff…).  Check out our guest post this week — she’s not having that nonsense. TGIF! 

Joonies, I have a bone to pick with:

girls who can’t keep their men and boys who can’t keep it in their pants.

You know who I’m talking about, we’ve all seen them, have been friends with them, and yes, we’ve all talked behind their backs… I’m talking about the girl who thinks she’s got a great man and she’s latching on to him for dear life.

And the kind of guy that wants his girl to be around as he fucks up over and over, because aside from being a douchebag he has “the package”. (the mohandes, Doctore, lawyer, blablabla). Don’t get me wrong, I like a guy with “the package” (and a package, if you know what I mean) as much as the next girl but when your relationship becomes so toxic that it starts to fuck with your sanity, then you just need to stop, drop everything and just GET OUT. At the end of the day though, people do what they want– sticking around, taking it–and its really of no consequence to me… usually.

but then there are those girls who can’t deal with their own insecurity, especially when their man’s wandering eye lands on you. [Read more...]

But You’re Like Really Deep.

JOONZ

do you know I’ve never spelled it that way?

I’ve been feeling uninspired lately. My life’s gone from 150mph to a slow turtle’s pace. (oK , I’m done with the pity party I swear)– and so I have..different material to work with–what that means for you guys is blog posts that are less sex, more JOON.

because I even forgot to bring my little friend to my new place.  (Let’s see how long I can hold out on this one.

Just so we’re clear. This post isn’t an ODE to mY loneliness POST, and  this post is NOT about me hating on Persian men– which is code for: DONE BEING SINGLE, SWOOP ME UP DOODOOL TALA!   just keeding.

its about depth. and depth-y people (I just created that adjective).

& Just to set the mood, I feel deep when I listen to this song:

SO wtf do we mean, when we say someone’s “really deep”?

Does it mean they’re spiritual? They recite cryptic poetry? Or that they’ve been through a lot of crazy sh!t in their life?

And how do you measure this “Depth”? cause clearly, humans aren’t actual swimming pools.

Although I wish people would have some sort of obvious marker for safety purposes– like “7 feet”, “5 1/2 feet”, “WADING POOL”.

[Read more...]

Parisa: Everything I Do is Half Assed

Um bullshit- nothing this girl does is half assed.  We first heard of Parisa when she was an intern at the National Iranian American Council– an organization dedicated to furthering the interest of Iranian Americans through outreach focused on Congressional policy issues and cultural events– through her coverage of foreign policy hearings on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C.  It was during this time that we discovered Parisa’s personal blog IranStories — now featured on Aslan Media as “I Heart Iran.”  Fellow blogger dedicated to bashing stereotypes?  WE’RE SOLD.

Parisa Saranj:  Blogger.  Lover of Iranian Culture.  Self proclaimed Hardcore Feminist.

Introducing Parisa joon

Parisa was so honest, quirky and fun throughout her interview.  I feel like I was able to learn so much from her just through a single conversation about her experiences as an Iranian American.  At S&F, we love hearing stories about how people surpassed what was expected of them and went on to do something amazing, and Parisa is a true testament to that.  So we hope that you guys will enjoy reading her interview as much as I enjoyed talking to her.

xo,

Farrah

- Tell me about yourself- where are you from? 

I was born in Esfehan, Iran in 1985.  I left in 2003 to come to the U.S. when I was 18 years old.  I came here with a green card.  the initial plan was to come here just to live with my family, not specifically for college.  My uncle had applied my father for a green card 13 years ago.

My dad, mom and I ended up getting a green card.  But because my brother was over the age of 21, he couldn’t get one.  So my dad basically dropped me off in the U.S. where I lived with my aunt and uncle.  After a year, I went my own way.

If my brother had gotten a green card too, my entire family and I would’ve moved here together.  But when he didn’t, my mom had to stay in Iran and my dad had to leave me in America after six months because he was unable to find a job.

My brother got his green card last week and is here with me now.  But in the meantime, my mother passed away, and my dad remarried and went off on his own.  So it’s just me and my brother now, and he’s staying with me here in the U.S.

- What was one of the biggest challenges you faced coming here from Iran?

There were three things that I would consider the biggest challenges.

(1).  Dealing with crazy relatives.  I had one relative who believed that I was too much of a “Muslim” girl so they would force me to eat bacon, buy me sexy lingerie and swim suits.  I was like this girl straight out of Esfehan – from a close knit conservative community – I had never worn anything smaller than a large, God forbid my boobs ever showed!

My relatives were forcing me to do the opposite of what I was accustomed to.  They just picked on a lot of issues and it had nothing to do with the fact that they are Iranian.

I lived with them in Orange County (California) and after, I moved to the furthest point I could think of.  I went to Massachusetts for college and I haven’t been back to California since.

(2).  The fact that the toilets here don’t have water to wash yourself with.  In Iran, we have a hose — a “shelange.”  Luckily, I discovered the wonderful world of feminine wipes that you can buy from CVS.  I would die without them.  I don’t go anywhere without them.  I really think if I didn’t find them, I would go back to Iran just to have a hose in the bathroom.

(3).  The biggest struggle was the fact that nothing here tastes like the food in Iran.  Unfortunately, I just got used to it.  I became a vegetarian two years after I moved here.  There is this entire industry of vegetarian food out there that I just love and I feel so much better about myself now.  I love tofu, different pastas and pizzas.  The world of vegetarianism is so vast and there is so much to explore.

So it was an agony to go to the bathroom, eat tasteless food and deal with my crazy family.

Honestly, culture shock or language barriers weren’t struggles I dealt with.  I loved being on my own.   [Read more...]

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