I’ve been especially sickly this week so please excuse any random mutterings below. But in my defense, I had a pretty confusing week/end.
Let me start from the beginning…
On Friday night, I met up with my ex and his best friend at a party – my ex leaves the party early without his friend … and the night proceeds with drinks and dancing. Suddenly, we’re making out (me and the friend) – no readiness, no expectations, it was probably just the booze taking over our brains (and grasp of common sense). And he just kept saying to me, “Don’t worry your ex won’t care.”
I was disgusted for not making the more responsible decision and I was disgusted with him for trying to convince me it was okay. It was mortifying and all I wanted to do was forget it ever happened (and never see either of them again).
Of course, way easier said than done – especially when you all live in a tiny, incestuous city. But all I really wanted was for the friend to text me like he said he would, so I could end the situation:
Listen, I don’t think this is such a good idea. K thanks.
I wasn’t sure if he would actually text me…
But I knew that I wouldn’t be the first to text him… because guys are always expected to text first. That’s what the rules are according to our society.
When girls give out their phone number to some guy they meet – they usually wait for that guy to contact them first. We wait for the stupid 3 day rule to pass and if we don’t hear from them by then – we let go.
Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule – but ultimately, this is the game we all play.
I felt like if my ex’s friend didn’t text me then this whole fiasco was ending on HIS terms … because based on our gender roles, it’s fact that I wouldn’t contact him first. (Obviously, this whole inner conflict also has to do with some major pride issues, but we can talk about that another time).
But discussing this with a friend, he brought up the fact that if no one has contacted the other – it ends on no one’s terms.