Don’t say the D word

Hiii joonjoons,

We decided that tonight we would take a little break from the SEX and BLOW JOBS- keeping shock value at a minimum ;)

Growing up, my parents were the epitome of Iranian parents & “poz-dadan” (show-off) .

My mom had a BOMB ass home cooked meal ready on the table by the time my dad got home from work every night.  They had an active social life going to mehmoonis (parties) on a regular basis and spending hours talking to their friends about what the fuck that one bitch was wearing at the last one (obvs- more so mom than dad).  On the outside, they were the perfect couple.  Happy, loving… bullshit.

Fake love is everywhere– Zac’s gay (sorry ladies).

The second we would get back into the car to go home from the mehmooni, the bickering started.  My mom would bitch at my dad and my dad would ignore her causing her to get more agitated.  It wasn’t until high school, when the fighting really started getting out of hand.  Nightly dinners were still prepared, but we ate in silence or rather… I ate in silence while my parents yelled at each other.  My mother being the typical Peeersian drama queen would yell, talk shit and throw things, while my dad just sat there and took it.  Luckily, my brother was too young to remember these times.  But I wasn’t.  I remember.

Dueling it out….kids in the car.

For the longest time, I fantasized about the day when my mom (or dad) would grow some balls and either work their issues out or just call it quits.  I remember eavesdropping on my mother’s phone conversations to her family in Iran where she would emphasize, “No, I’m absolutely not happy- I want to kill him.  I am only staying with him for my kids.”  BIGGEST BULLSHIT STATEMENT EVER.

Don’t ever think that KIDS are stupid enough to not know what’s going on. Don’t think that kids are stupid enough to believe that its normal for parents to fight. And most importantly, don’t think kids are stupid enough to not feel the tension that fills the room even when parents pretend like everything is normal.

We aren’t stupid.

OK minus him, he might be a little stupid. Akheyy

I was 16 years old when I asked my mom to divorce my dad.

I was tired of the yelling.  I was tired of dreading to have to leave school and go back to the house of hell.  But even more so- I didn’t want my little brother to have grow up with angry, bitter parents like I did.  Whether some parents realize it or not (or most often– later rather than sooner), their actions towards one another sets an example: My parent’s horrible relationship would have only taught my brother that “Yes, it is okay to talk to your wife like that” and “Yes, marriage is just a contract, you don’t have to respect each other.”

Of course, after my family owned up to their issues and decided to do what IS best for their kids (the D word), it set off the gossip stream throughout the Iranian community.  Some of my mother’s closest friends shunned her (Ten years later, I’m still disgusted). Their response?

“How can you leave him? What are YOU going to do?”

And worst of all, people chose sides and it was rarely my mother’s side that was chosen.  I was so MAD when I saw the way her so-called FRIENDS treated her after the divorce until I realized one thing:

#wisdom

It took several years before my parent’s Persian “friends” were able to act normal with them. And the FUNNIEST PART was my mother started a trend within our little Persian community.  At least three other families who didn’t have the balls to own up to their issues ended up getting divorced (or “legally separated” aka divorce without the commitment) after my parents did.

The Iranian community puts a huge emphasis on family, but:

why can’t we still be a happy, functioning family even if our parents aren’t together?

My father stepped up in ways he had never stepped up before the divorce.  He actually started to make an effort to be PRESENT in both my life and my brother’s.  Not just that, my relationship improved tremendously with both my parents after they broke up.  Its almost a similar concept as having sex before marriage:

sometimes tradition isn’t RIGHT.

Everyone leads different lives and its up to us to be able to be strong enough to roll with the punches and make the right decisions.  (And no, “right decision” does not mean what your mother or “God” told you, it means: what makes YOU happy).

An Award-winning film that deals with the ‘D’ word: less melodrama, and more REALISM.

A Separation

 

Are you going to go after what you believe in or are you going to shun me because I do? Let us know- we loooove hearing from our precious joonies:

FACEBOOK US

sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

Here’s to bashing tradition,

Farrah فراه

Bitches Always Be Talkin’ Shit

O-M-G!  I heard that jende hooked up with Saaghi’s man of the hour last night. What a slut.  Of course, she would do something like that- she’s always flirting with every guy.

The infamous rumor mill.  As Persian girls, we know it all too well.  Whether we are the ones starting the gossip or we’re the latest victim of the scandal circulating to Iranians worldwide (over exaggeration I KNOW, but you get my drift).  It’s inevitable– girls (AND GUYS- “bro I heard your beez eff’ed every guy in sight during college”) looove to talk shit.  Its always about who hooked up with who, who stole so-and-so’s boyfriend or how loose that one hoe is.  AND EVERYONE is guilty of this.  CALL ME PARANOID- but whenever someone says something in a different language in front of me- I SWEAR its a comment on what I’m wearing or worst.  You can say that girls talk shit all day (which they do… no denying that), but locker room talk?  That’s all you, boys.

Can’t even BELIEVE she would try to get at Saaghi’s man- WTF!

The way I see it?  People are ALWAYS going to talk shit and fact of the matter is, they are usually saying something bad because they are simply jealous (unless you really are a slut).  Don’t get me wrong- I’ll still get hurt if I hear that someone I trust said something mean about me behind my back.  But, I’ve learned that if someone does betray me like that, I’m better off and I KNOW that I can never trust them again.  Of course, I wasn’t always like this.  As a crazy Persian girl, I’ve had to develop a thick skin to ward off the haters constantly chugging on that haterade they love so damn much and believe me when I say- it took me awhile- it was only after I was able to block the most ridiculous rumors that I was able to finally take everything with a grain of salt.

Let me REEEEWIND, in high school- I was your typical “Brown girl.”  We had maybe five other Persian girls in my high school, so people didn’t really see me as “Persian,” they saw me as “not white” (special kids, I know).  ANYWAY, I had a lot of boyfriends.  In fact, I probably had a boyfriend for about two and half out of three years of high school.  And no, NOT the same one… I had boyfriends that lasted anywhere from two weeks… to two months… to finally over a year (my LAST year of high school).

The good ol’ innocent days

But because I was just oh-so-sought after (kidding…), I developed a … promiscuous reputation.  I’ve had a lot of boyfriends, right?  So OF COURSE, I just CAN’T be a virgin.  It was automatically assumed that I had already opened my legs at the mere age of 15.  Ironically, I lost my virginity the summer before my third year of COLLEGE, surprised? Don’t be- rumors are rarely true.

At the time, I would get SO upset when a guy would get fresh with me just because he thought I had the experience to be able to handle it.  And I was EVEN MORE upset when I found out that my best friend in high school was the one behind the bullshit rumors (shady much?).  But here is what I learned: Yeah my best friend is a bitch and she kind of sucks at life (no BITTERNESS, I swear…), but if she had never betrayed me the way she did- I would have continued being friends with her and she probably would have not only, spread more ridiculous lies about me, but she would have spilled a few secrets too.  And what was even better about the whole situation?  I could actually say that NO, those rumors are untrue and I wouldn’t be lying.

I’ll be honest- I LOVE hearing the gossip, the shit talking. I have NO problem telling someone when I think they’re being a little jende.  But that’s where I think I’m a little different than those behind the scenes/undercover shit talkers. I’ll say it to your face when I think you’re acting inappropriate.  I’m not trying to ruin your reputation, your actions are already doing that for you.  My philosophy:

What you do behind closed doors is your own business- but when it affects others, you better be able to own up to your actions.  So don’t fuck someone’s boyfriend. (its NEVER ok)

Take it from someone who knows: there will always be rumors, but it feels fucking great when you can prove them wrong.  And hey: if they’re true, lesson learned.  Just because people are hating on you for something you did doesn’t mean its always going to be like that- you can always learn from your mistakes. God knows, I did.

Ever had someone spread something ridiculous about YOU? Here’s your chance to silence those shit talkers forever:

FACEBOOK US

sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

Till then,

You’re one and only,

Farrah  فراه
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