7 Ways to Get Rid of your Moustache

Joonies,

We have hair everywhere.  This is a fact, whether the hair is blonde or black. Now, the ‘need to remove urgency‘ for every body part varies- with the least urgent being the legs. (No-Shave-November-December-Janu—basically anytime its cold)

The most urgent? The moustache troll that lies above your lips.

Here’s ways to get rid of it from the ultra-temporary to the permanent, and at various price points and pain levels.

1. Shaving

Time: >1 min

Price: $10 for a pack of razors   

How long does it last? Not long enough.*

Pain? None, unless you knick yourself.

*Not recommended, unless you’re into that ’5′oclock shadow’ for yourself. If you’re desperate with only a razor lying around- fine, but be warned as it’s growing back, it’ll feel prickly (like anywhere else you shave).

2. Waxing

waxing options

Time: >5 min

Price: $5-10

How long does it last? 2-3 weeks

Pain? Have you ever been slapped across the face?  Very similar feeling, but you’re getting the hair at the root so –no pain, no gain.

3. Threading

Hayv-Kahraman_Threading-My-Mustache_2010_Oil-on-wooden-panel_112x87cm

Time: ~5-7min

Price: $5

How long does it last? For me- 2 weeks at most.

Pain? Worse than waxing, because it feels like your skin is getting pinched and scraped at the same time.

4. Hair Removal Cream

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Time: ~5-10min

Price: $5-8

How long does it last? 2 weeks at most. So here’s the deal, I am eternally scarred from all hair removal creams due to the experiences I had when I was in puberty and desperately trying to remove my moustache. One, the smell– it is a funky, NAIR smell, and once you smell it you’ll always remember the ‘Nair’ smell. Two, one time I had an awful reaction to the cream and it looked like I had broken out in hives/herpes/cuts all around my upper lip. I was barely 14, and my mom still made me go to school.

Pain? None. Potentially a few weeks of embarrassment (if you have an allergic reaction to it).

5. Bleach

homepageTime: ~10-15min

Price: $5-10

How long does it last? 2-3 weeks.

Pain? NONE. This is the best way to hide your mouchie if you’re lazy, out of other options, or all of the above. Technically though, you’re not ‘removing’ any hair; you’re just camouflaging it.

6. Tweezing

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Time: Forever.

Price: $5

How long does it last? 1-2 weeks.

Pain? Surprisingly can get very painful, and since it’s rather ineffective, I only pluck if I have some very noticeable dark hairs. Usually I just look over at the tweezer and remind myself ‘just for eyebrows’.

7. Laser Hair Removal/Electrolysis

upper-lip-hair-removal-best-solutions-and-costs_-lop-_3

Time: ~5-7min

Price: >$250

How long does it last? Eventually hair-free*

Pain? A burn and a pinch at the same time.

*Is it worth it? There’s a lot I would give up to be hair-free, but it’s important to note that it’s never a guarantee. You may pay the $$$ but still end up having to use some temporary removal methods later on. 

All of the above is based on my experiences, and so results may vary. Do you have a preferred route for getting rid of the moustache? Let me know in the comments section.

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Mustache Out,

SAAGHI ساقی

chillin with no makeup on, thats when you’re the prettiest?

HAY. we’re almost in MAY.

ok that was corny, but on the real, time flies, doesnt it?

and I always realize this on Mondays…=YOLO FML

I actually drag myself out of bed like this. #sad

Mondays are also when I realize that: the amount of food and alcohol I put into my mouth over the weekend is in direct correlation to how shitty my Monday is.

You know that feeling of waking up on a Monday, knowing you downed enough food for a small country in Africa– and then realizing you have to put on real people clothes.

I know for me, as a PERSIAN girl, its even more of an issue if I don’t keep up appearances for awhile. We need some Intensive Monthly Maintenance which includes: waxing, lasering, hair, etc. Routine Weekly Maintenance: nails, brows, shaving, etc. & THE DAILY: moisturizing, make up, exercising.

Of course, everyone’s different. Some girls wax their moustaches (yes we have them, lets be real) once a month, some do it once a week. Some girls wear foundation everyday, some just brush on the mascara. At the end of the day, its rare that we roll out of bed without a glance in the mirror.

But let me say this, I don’t like doing things without getting credit. So when guys insist,

I like girls who don’t wear makeup.

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