Whips and Chains Excite Me

Joons.

Trying to keep it chill tonight because it’s f#cking Monday. Whatever I get it, you can’t stay in bed all day everyday. Cool.

I feel like talking about sex tonight. I know, gosh how many more times can I talk about it? Endless. I think I learn something new about sex everyday – for example, sometimes it’s not as great as the vampire sex on TV, but… that’s why we have drunk sex.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I prefer not being the boss in the bedroom (click here). I like when a man knows what he wants… because that’s when he really feels like a man. (sexist comment… it’s how I feel).

mam

Gender roles can be sexy in the bedroom (but leave them tied to the bed posts please).

Just to warn you all – this is about to be a deep dark secret kind of night. This has been a new thing for me – experimenting with sex and realizing that I suddenly have options that I’d never considered before – either from being too embarrassed to or just not being creative enough.

Missionary can be done like this too?!

I was trying something new with someone I was very attracted to. And that was that. There weren’t any emotions and I thought it was the perfect situation – no attachments, no embarrassment - no aberoo, ya feel me - and yes yes, same guy from previous posts.

It was really working out for awhile until things went too far. I showed up on his doorstep one night, after weeks of planning – I had finally forced myself to shave my legs, spray perfume where I generally don’t, and wear some uncomfortable, lacy g-string thing. [Read more...]

High-Five Yourself!

Saaghi here, I know it has been awhile– but we have such talented new writers that Farrah and I get excited to just share, share, share!

This latest post was inspired by this article I read the other day, 35 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Turning 35 by Hemal Jhaveri. Now, we all have our unfulfilled bucket lists, and it is inevitable that we’re going to have a few “I wish I had…”  but one thing really stuck out to me on this list,

2. Hooked up with that hot guy from New Zealand who I met in a bar in Bali
In your 20s, you think stuff like this will happen to you again and again, but trust me, it doesn’t. And he totally would have been worth it.

If you think I’m going to go on about how I think we should all hook up instead of thinking twice, you’re wrong. But I think Hemal captures something really interesting, the once-in-a-lifetime hookup. Sure, in college, you can trade saliva with a lot of frat boys, athletes, and pseudo-intellectual Socialists —

but once in awhile, life throws you a Gem of a hookup. And its not about love, or relationships, or anything like that.

Its a pure ‘HIGH-FIVE yourself’ moment, and that’s why it’s great. Because when you do turn 35, you’ll look back and mentally high-five yourself again.

image

And while meeting a sexy foreign guy and deciding against sharing some drunken kisses (or more) with him seems crazy, it happens a lot. One of my girlfriends turned down a successful Spaniard –who couldn’t keep his hands off of her– only to regret it two minutes later, and go looking for him again at the bar! I’ve had one or two gem hook ups, that I high-five myself for every time. One, in Paris, where my friends really helped me get the Parisian guy of my dreams..for a few hours ;).

Our usual instincts are : approach with caution, and don’t be promiscuous.

I’m not advocating that every night be get drunk and naked night, because you’re definitely not coming across these gems all the time (and if you are, give me the name of your city and I’ll move there) All I’m saying is–You have to know what you’re saying NO to, and if that will be a NO you’ll remember for a long time. Ultimately, everyone has their own principles, morals, and limits, but

You just can’t be too high-strung in your 20′s, you have the rest of your life to be that way. [Read more...]

Need You to Spank Me

JOONIESS.

To have to follow David Golshan is a bit much because let’s be real, you really can’t beat that… but you do what you gotta do.  So #LEGGO.

My topic tonight might be a little confusing because I’m still trying to figure everything out myself- but here’s to hoping that you guys can help me out a little bit.

Guilt.

As Persians (men and women), we ALL feel it whether it’s with getting bad grades or having sex out of wedlock.  But it’s how we allow that guilt to take over our decisions and lives that really matters (to me).

When I lost my virginity, I had to justify it to myself.  As if waiting until I was 20 years old and in love wasn’t justification enough, I had to plead with myself that it really was okay to have done the dirty.

I felt the need to convince myself that what I had done wasn’t “wrong,” even though it’s a natural part of life.

Oops I did it again

[Read more...]

You are SO dumb, FO REAL!

:)

there’s only so many ways you can say hello, and I’m all out for today. & if you love ARAB $$ and SEXY like I do, this song’ll be a hit– summer in Morocco anyone?

and I couldn’t help but post another one for the people going out this weekend:

yeah I kinda gave into #bieberFEVER just a little.

So I’ve decided I have no HOSELEH (HOS for short–patience) for two things:

- ONLINE SHOPPING emails

- Ditzy MEN

One is because I’m broke, the other because I’m too intelligent.

I dont think its ok for girls to play it stupid, but when they actually are that dumb, I just forgive them– because I’m not trying to have sex with them. But for guys, its not that easy. As much as I know not EVERY hook up isn’t going to be an Einstein, I always thought it was safe to assume they have some sort of evolutionary-given common sense. Or could suppress their stupidity for at least the short period of time it takes to get it on.

Saaghi, you’re STUPID. Again.

My friends joke with me that I get with guys on a disability spectrum– from the physically handicapped to the mentally handicapped. I mean there was that one time with the blind guy– but come on! (JK–no one said I was PC on this blog)

But really, now its become a problem: before I’d wait til the next day or tilat least the hookup was over to tell my friends of the stupid sh!t they did, but now I find myself texting/laughing DURING the whole thing.

If I can’t wait to tell the world, it means you’re that ridiculous.   [Read more...]

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