Newton’s Third Law of Motion

Hola,

After reading Holly’s last post “Do I have it all?  I was really inspired to self-reflect on my own view of marriage, relationships, and career aspirations. Exactly one year ago, I would have read that post–with my very favorite Lady Gaga quote — and I would’ve been raising my hand, sayin’ “Preach girl!. Dreams over D’s anyday.  Now, I’m not so sure I’m a believer.

After watching a lot of The Big Bang Theory, I think I’ve found a scientific way to express myself (Note: I almost failed Physics in high schoo) Remember Newton’s Laws of Motion?  I only remember one.

“For Every Action There is an Equal and Opposite Reaction”

And while this is true with everything that feels the pull of gravity, it is actually completely false in the world of relationships.  Part of that is obvious– if you love your man, chances are he doesn’t hate you back.

But the point is, you can love someone, and they may not love you back equally. They may not love you at all.

See how that violates physics? It is counter-intuitive, and completely out of our control. It is as if you pushed a door in, but the door pushed back with double the force– or with none at all (in both cases, you would be injured). I wish my boyfriend would like me as much as I like him, but chances are the perfect state of equilibrium… does not exist. And that is scary, and it makes both people vulnerable. 

I think women fear the inequality that’s inevitable with emotional reciprocity.

Its a mouthful, and it may not even make sense but let me break it down:

I don’t think women fear waking up to a man that doesn’t love them anymore. They fear waking up to a partner that does not feel the same way. And the knowledge that they can’t do anything about it.

A pink slip at work will never feel like the moment someone says, “I’m not in love with you”, and since that is true, a professional goal can never heal a personal injury.  [Read more...]

What Comes Next?

JOONS,

It’s Shabeh Yalda – a night where we spend time with our loved ones, eating, drinking – and remembering to enjoy life. This is how Saaghi and I plan to celebrate Shabeh Yalda tonight – the longest night of the year – 

fessReally the best way to spend any night: stuffing our faces with fessenjoon. YUM.

All through college, all anyone ever told me was that my 20’s were going to be the best years of my life.  The years spent enjoying everything that is available to me, every opportunity, every change, and positive outcome. My 20’s were defined for me as the best that life was ever going to give me. 

And that’s how I always imagined it would be.  I expected to graduate from college and jump into a world of possibility, a world of hope and opportunity… where nothing felt out of reach.

I was determined.  I was excited for all the different things I would get to experience only because I was finally in my 20’s — the infamous decade where I get to be exactly who I want to be. And frankly, it sounded easy.  I felt like I would graduate and instantly, I’d be exactly where I wanted to be in my life.

lennonAnd then I finally graduated from college and instead of entering a world of possibilities… I was hit with confusion and fear.

Do I move home? Do I take this job that has nothing to do with what I want? What will my parents say if I get an unpaid internship?

Where do I go from here? [Read more...]

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