The Green-Eyed Frenemy

Hello,

I am so hungover from my Company holiday party that its painful to even use my brain, so I’m sorry if this post is a little… elementary. Can you believe it’s already December? and I have no vacation plans. Oh, adulthood has even sucked the joy out of the holidays.

Do you know what else sucks the fun out of the holidays?

Having to see all the people you usually try to avoid.

Its true– at the family parties, mehmoonis, etc– everyone is there, because there is no excuse for missing the occasion. People are home from college, people have off from work, there’s enormous amounts of food; essentially, its like being held hostage at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet.

So basically, holidays sometimes turn into an Annual Review. I hear about everyone’s life:  where they’re at, what’s going on, who they’re sleeping with, where they last vacationed, etc. It’s an exchange of information from the span of one year compacted into one conversation. And what happens is you’re forced to pause and evaluate yourself, especially in comparison to who you’re talking to.

That brings up a lot of feelings. And sometimes, its jealousy.

And you know, I feel bad. I think jealousy gets a bad rep. People think its the ugliest word, and being a “jealous person” is not taken to be a good thing. But its actually a pretty basic instinct, if you think about it.

Jealousy is a part of our nature, like sadness and anger. And if its natural, there has to be some good that comes from it? [Read more...]

We Play By My Rules

Joon joons,

Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, I’ve been quarantined off to my room for the past day (and tomorrow).  Crazy wind and rain got nothing on me – I’m still kicking. To all our readers on the East Coast — stay safe and dry.  Sandy can’t touch this.

I’m not really a fan of break-ups.  For obvious reasons, I’m sure most of us aren’t. If I’m the one who wants to do the dumping, I will do everything in my power to avoid it and encourage the other person to do it for me.  I’m so mature, clearly.

My go-to move: “let’s take a break” in hopes that in those few days, the guy will come to his senses.  That rarely happens.

Honesty is always the best policy.

The one time I was dumped when it wasn’t on my terms – it devastated me.  Love was never really a factor and my lack of worthy relationship experience didn’t really prepare me for what followed the breakup.

I turned into one of those girls that I’d always looked down at — crying constantly…

I started my job the day after he dumped me so having to be the “new girl” with a fake smile on my face was probably one of the hardest things in my first few weeks of work.  I couldn’t eat my lunch, I would escape to the bathroom to keep tears from falling in front of everyone, and I cried everyday on the metro back home after work.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that — sometimes you just have to purge out your pain but…

The real world isn’t going to wait for you to sulk over your ex-boyfriend. [Read more...]

Love Me Not

JOONAMS.

T-4 till Friday– have you noticed how the beginning of almost ALL my posts start with the mention of Friday? That’s because Friday is fun-day and it is my life.

If you guys have been following us for awhile, then you’ve probably learned a thing or two about me.  1.  I moved far far away from my family.  2.  I have a slight phobia when it comes to commitment (click here). 

I think I’ve exhausted the topic of my family a bit– no more funny stories left, now just the pain, sweat and tears that follow an Iranian upbringing.  But that’s irrelevant for tonight’s topic.

I’ve always been someone who has to have control, who’s not willing to compromise and who’s biggest fear is vulnerability.

Clearly, I’m not as mature as I thought

[Read more...]

Bitch, Back Down

Hey joooonie joons,

Happy Hump Day! Is it Friday yet?

I had a typical Persian kid’s childhood.  I went to mehmooni’s with my parents every weekend because not going was NEVER an option.  My friends were the kids of my parent’s friends.  And unfortunately, for me– I was the only girl in my age group.  The next girl to be born was nine years later. #buzzkill

I even looked like a boy

Even though, I was surrounded by boys growing up, I was never athletic, or liked games like Battleship (who understands that game anyway) or enjoyed watching sports- I still mix up baseball teams with football. I think deep down, my parents always wanted a boy because they forced the mushroom/bowl-like haircut on me and made me wear those long “capri,” ghetto shorts for years. 

THANKS MOM- this is what I had in 7th grade

But unlike, those attention-whores (AW’S), I really longed for someone to play Barbies with.  I could only convince those Persian boys to play “Pretty Pretty Princess” for so long.  And pretty soon, they caught up to my tricks and stopped listening to me for game ideas (deep down, I’m pretty sure they LOVED it).

Fast forward to high school- I was finally old enough to say “NO” to the Persian parties I didn’t want to go to (couldn’t avoid them all) and what was even more exciting, I made GIRLFRIENDS.

I didn’t have to be the awkward little girl trailing behind the pack of Persian boys lost in their game of “Capture the Ball,” I finally had sleepovers and listened to hours of Britney Spears with my girlfriends (none of whom were Persian).

GIRLS NIGHT IN

I loved my girlfriends in high school.  I confided in them about everything… from my parent’s divorce to my first blow job.  Until my senior year when I found out that the girl I was closest to had a big fat mouth. [Read more...]

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