16 Reasons Why Middle Easterners Are Crushing it

Crushing it since 3,500 B.C. 

B0024P 0019

I am a Middle Easterner, and I approve of this message.

1. We have shame, therefore we have class.

classy

we may be obnoxious, but we’ll never be sloppy. Our mommas taught us better than that.

2. Middle Easterners are never late, White People are always early.

When white people are running late… running lat And when Middle Easterners are running late…

strolling

3. Our Reaction to everything is usually,

white people

4. We’re good at Math and Science, because we invented Math and Science.

yeah science

Our ancestors knew what was up.

5. We don’t have to look for our ancestors on Ancestry.com

ancestry

#sorrynotsorry

6. We’ll always be scared of our parents.

yes sir

And therefore, we’ll always respect them. Fore, they gave us life– and lots of traumatic and embarrassing experiences.

7. Our parents will let us move back in with them, even at age 45.

Rent Free.

snl lol

8. If there is a shortcut to anything, we will find it.

Assigned readings in college? We walk in like…

readings lol

 And still raise our hands to participate.

9. Every Middle Easterner knows that a deadline is actually the last date to ask for an extension.

shortcuts

Our nonchalant attitude isn’t arrogance, it’s just that…

10. Nothing’s ever that serious.

do not care

11. Except when it is.

celebrate

12. Middle Eastern hospitality is the stuff legends are made of.

Looking for small bites or hors d’oeuvres? umm…

time for that

We willingly starve ourself before our gatherings just to make sure we can feast like kings.

Everyone else has parties that end at a decent hour, like 9pm. Middle Eastern parties are like marathons. We love to feed, entertain, and then gossip about it all.

13. We’re all about equal opportunity shit-talking.

I ain’t even mad about it.

aint even mad

And since it’s equal, its fair right?

14. Holding Grudges is a testament to how great our memory is.

When someone wrongs you, it’s like…

kobe lol

Forgive and forget? Bitch, please.

15. Black Tie is never optional, it’s necessary.

suit pajamas

suit pajamas.

Dress down for what?

16. Finally, once you get past our hard exterior

we’re the warmest and kindest people you’ll ever know.

big bird snl

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tweet me: @saaghi_joon

Middle Eastern and Crushing it,

SAAGHI ساقی

You Don’t Scare Me

Hey joonies,

Sorry we’ve been a little more MIA than usual.  October and November tend to be my busiest months at work than the rest of the year.  I love my job, but it really took me awhile to get there.  It took me time to be able to adjust and get comfortable with people.

Despite being outspoken and blunt, I have a tendency to start out shy with people I don’t know.  My potty mouth is reserved for friends only and the tattoo-ed, women’s rights advocate, and proud Iranian side of me are usually put away when I first start a new job.

My philosophy: you never know how people are going to react – better to start out observing than to be sorry in the end.

Clarification: I will never apologize for who I am.  But in order to be professional, you have to choose what parts of your personality you should highlight in the workplace.

My resume is dominated by my experience in Middle East studies.  In college, I went from one journalism internship to the next.  After college, every professional experience I’ve had is related to Iran or Middle East in general.  In fact, I only moved to D.C. to pursue an internship in Iranian politics.

By graffiti artist A1one in Tehran

When I began to apply for a permanent job – my dad said, “Farrah, you should erase all of your Iran experience from your resume because you will be discriminated against when employers look at your resume.”

My first reaction — Fuck that, I love the experience I’ve had and if some employer is going to discriminate against me for it then I don’t want to work there anyway.

My second reaction — Shit, if I erase all of that from my resume, I’m basically left with my college degree.

So I refused.  I didn’t talk to my dad about the lack of calls I got from the many jobs I applied to.  I didn’t talk to my dad about my struggles with finding a job.  Instead, I lied to my dad about getting another unpaid internship in D.C. focusing on Middle East democracy and told him that I was working temporarily elsewhere.

And when I finally got an interview with the current organization I work for, I didn’t tell my parents until after I had the confirmation email that I got the job.

I learned something valuable from the first interview at my job and my first year there.  My experiences at work have only reaffirmed what I’ve always believed in:

Don’t apologize for your culture or your background.  It’s what sets you apart.  It’s what makes you unique and it gives you an advantage. [Read more…]

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