Crushing it since 3,500 B.C.
I am a Middle Easterner, and I approve of this message.
1. We have shame, therefore we have class.
we may be obnoxious, but we’ll never be sloppy. Our mommas taught us better than that.
2. Middle Easterners are never late, White People are always early.
3. Our Reaction to everything is usually,
4. We’re good at Math and Science, because we invented Math and Science.
5. We don’t have to look for our ancestors on Ancestry.com
6. We’ll always be scared of our parents.
And therefore, we’ll always respect them. Fore, they gave us life– and lots of traumatic and embarrassing experiences.
7. Our parents will let us move back in with them, even at age 45.
8. If there is a shortcut to anything, we will find it.
Assigned readings in college? We walk in like…
And still raise our hands to participate.
9. Every Middle Easterner knows that a deadline is actually the last date to ask for an extension.
Our nonchalant attitude isn’t arrogance, it’s just that…
10. Nothing’s ever that serious.
11. Except when it is.
12. Middle Eastern hospitality is the stuff legends are made of.
Looking for small bites or hors d’oeuvres? umm…
We willingly starve ourself before our gatherings just to make sure we can feast like kings.
Everyone else has parties that end at a decent hour, like 9pm. Middle Eastern parties are like marathons. We love to feed, entertain, and then gossip about it all.
13. We’re all about equal opportunity shit-talking.
I ain’t even mad about it.
And since it’s equal, its fair right?
14. Holding Grudges is a testament to how great our memory is.
When someone wrongs you, it’s like…
Forgive and forget? Bitch, please.
15. Black Tie is never optional, it’s necessary.
Dress down for what?
16. Finally, once you get past our hard exterior
we’re the warmest and kindest people you’ll ever know.
tweet me: @saaghi_joon
Middle Eastern and Crushing it,