Holidays are great, no matter where they come from or who celebrates them. Holidays are an excuse to celebrate, eat, and be slightly more cordial to people. But,
Norouz, no matter how you spell it, is the best holiday ever.
You don’t get presents. You get Cash. Money.
It falls on the first day of Spring. Winter holidays? They’re basic.
There’s enough ‘Shireeni‘ (baked goods) to feed everyone and their moms.
You have to wear something new when the new year hits (saal tahvil). And that only means one thing:
Everyone is less judgmental at mehmoonis (trans: parties).
It’s prime mating season.
You will see people you haven’t seen in years. And they will want to play.
You have to go visit other people, (“Eid Deedany”), which means all those people will prepare ridiculous amounts of food.
So it’s Thanksgiving, a few times over in the span of two weeks.
No Persian host wants to be one-upped, which means you have everything to gain here.
And you never worry about all the feasting, because you will be doing a lot of ‘gher-ring ‘.
You’ll feel that dance in your pants, as soon as that FOB-Y music blares, even if you’re slightly embarassed that you like it.
The Haft-Sin is like a Christmas Tree. The best way to prove how much better you are than your friends is to
step up your Haft-sin game and share it on social media.
If you need some luck with your love life, you just have to ‘knot your sabzeh‘ and wish for your soulmate.
And it’s actually difficult to knot those thin blades of grass without breaking them, so good luck!
After it’s all over, you’ve jumped over fire, seen all your family and friends, and wished for love.