Top 5 Hottest Persian Rappers

It is time to rank these bad boys (and girl!).

#5

yasYas 

Deep and brooding. Hi.

#4

erfanErfan

He’s made a lot of music. But we won’t let that distract us from what’s really important…that perfect scruff.

#3

sogandSogand

To be an Iranian female in the rap game, you have to be bad ass. Sogand is also stunning.

#2

mehrad hidden
Mehrad Hidden

We could’ve included anyone from ZedBazi on this list, but this guy’s voice just makes us want to undress- very quickly.

#1

behzad leito

Behzad Leito

Basically, his face is everything.

And those lips…

He may be younger than us, but age ain’t nothing but a number in this case.

another one for the road:

behzad leito 2

Disagree with our ranking? Let us know how you’d rate these hotties.

16 Reasons Why Middle Easterners Are Crushing it

Crushing it since 3,500 B.C. 

B0024P 0019

I am a Middle Easterner, and I approve of this message.

1. We have shame, therefore we have class.

classy

we may be obnoxious, but we’ll never be sloppy. Our mommas taught us better than that.

2. Middle Easterners are never late, White People are always early.

When white people are running late… running lat And when Middle Easterners are running late…

strolling

3. Our Reaction to everything is usually,

white people

4. We’re good at Math and Science, because we invented Math and Science.

yeah science

Our ancestors knew what was up.

5. We don’t have to look for our ancestors on Ancestry.com

ancestry

#sorrynotsorry

6. We’ll always be scared of our parents.

yes sir

And therefore, we’ll always respect them. Fore, they gave us life– and lots of traumatic and embarrassing experiences.

7. Our parents will let us move back in with them, even at age 45.

Rent Free.

snl lol

8. If there is a shortcut to anything, we will find it.

Assigned readings in college? We walk in like…

readings lol

 And still raise our hands to participate.

9. Every Middle Easterner knows that a deadline is actually the last date to ask for an extension.

shortcuts

Our nonchalant attitude isn’t arrogance, it’s just that…

10. Nothing’s ever that serious.

do not care

11. Except when it is.

celebrate

12. Middle Eastern hospitality is the stuff legends are made of.

Looking for small bites or hors d’oeuvres? umm…

time for that

We willingly starve ourself before our gatherings just to make sure we can feast like kings.

Everyone else has parties that end at a decent hour, like 9pm. Middle Eastern parties are like marathons. We love to feed, entertain, and then gossip about it all.

13. We’re all about equal opportunity shit-talking.

I ain’t even mad about it.

aint even mad

And since it’s equal, its fair right?

14. Holding Grudges is a testament to how great our memory is.

When someone wrongs you, it’s like…

kobe lol

Forgive and forget? Bitch, please.

15. Black Tie is never optional, it’s necessary.

suit pajamas

suit pajamas.

Dress down for what?

16. Finally, once you get past our hard exterior

we’re the warmest and kindest people you’ll ever know.

big bird snl

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Middle Eastern and Crushing it,

SAAGHI ساقی

Gender Inequality, by an Iranian American Female

In my Iranian-American family, there is a double standard. I have a younger brother who has been raised and treated rather differently from me. I love him but he gets away with things, I would’ve been buried for. Sometimes, this double standard exists because he’s younger. But sometimes it’s because he’s a male.

And I feel that to be an attack on my gender.

After growing up in a pretty traditional household and working in a male-dominated profession, I’ve picked up on some of the subtleties that create gender inequality. Gender roles are often reinforced by harmless words and attitudes, moreso than by laws and handbooks. The fact that my brother is never asked to wash a dish or set the table. The fact that women have to remain feminine and submissive at the office to be liked; because assertive and intimidating are qualities that are reserved for men. 

Inequality goes both ways.

My brother is expected to stunt his emotional growth and deny any feelings of fear or vulnerability. Men in the office often only express their dissatisfaction by shutting down or getting angry. While, as a woman, my emotional intelligence is emphasized and accounted for.

She cried because she’s a woman.” The statement is actually more liberating than discriminatory. Yes, my tear ducts are smaller than a man’s, and I will cry when I want. For men? If you cry, you better run for cover.

While inequality exists for both genders, I still believe that ‘male privilege’ is quite an oppressive factor that women face in today’s society. But as an Iranian-American woman, I’ve discovered that gender equality, to me, is a change of attitude and perspective. It is the acceptance that genders are different, but equal, and that none of the current gender roles rightly define what it is to be ‘male’ or ‘female’.

As a female, gender equality isn’t looking at a man and saying ‘me too! me too!’

It’s saying ‘I’m different but my differences do not make me worth any less’.

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xo,

SAAGHI ساقی

Life After College Sucks _____.

Hello there Joonies :) It’s Saaghi.

By now, all the graduates of 2013 have graduated already. And while I’ve never had any long-term dreams of being a commencement speaker, I think Mary Schmich had it right:

Inside every adult, lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out.

I barely count as an adult, but I’ve hit that one year post-graduation mark where I really wish I could stand at a podium and rain on everyone’s festive parade. I’d like to tell my peers how it really goes down— because it’s not just about sunscreen. (is my bitter showing?) From what I gather after talking to people aged 22-26, I’m not the only one who wishes someone would’ve told them straight up that Life after College sucks. I’ve mentally noted some of the reasons, thus far, I believe that to be true…

Welcome Graduates of 2013 to the real world where ‘Confused and Sarcastic’ is the new black.

image

I left the wonderful and fuzzy bubble of my undergrad years to deal with an extremely new lifestyle: a real job in a different city, away from home.  And right away, I hated it and I wished my Alma Mater could have taken me back for another 4 years. 

Things got a little better when I received my first paycheck, I felt like…

And it was all exciting, picking a place to live, being “independent”. But then this sudden sense of doom hit, and I realized somethings will never be the same. [Read more...]

Riding Unicorns

I recently happened to watch the romantic comedy, Guess Who for the first time when the following scene ensued.

“Would you open your mind, Percy Jones? Dante is a metrosexual.”

“A what?”

“He’s a straight man with taste.”

“No such thing. You might as well tell me he rode over here on a unicorn.”

I suppose most people watching the film took the scene lightly. Yet it got me thinking:

how many times do we insult or comment on personality traits of other people using sexuality and gender references?

At some point, we have all partook or grown accustomed to some comment to a man exclaiming, “don’t be a little bitch” or “you’re a pussy.”

Worse still, I have heard women in conversation complain that their potential dates had been “too gay.” Nobody knows just exactly what that means, but most guesses usually include quite a delusional perception of how men and women should “naturally” act.

And so it is really important to consider the real meaning behind these comments. First of all, no decent woman should accept that her anatomy becomes a tool of insult.

Being a woman is NOT an insult. [Read more...]

Newton’s Third Law of Motion

Hola,

After reading Holly’s last post “Do I have it all?  I was really inspired to self-reflect on my own view of marriage, relationships, and career aspirations. Exactly one year ago, I would have read that post–with my very favorite Lady Gaga quote — and I would’ve been raising my hand, sayin’ “Preach girl!. Dreams over D’s anyday.  Now, I’m not so sure I’m a believer.

After watching a lot of The Big Bang Theory, I think I’ve found a scientific way to express myself (Note: I almost failed Physics in high schoo) Remember Newton’s Laws of Motion?  I only remember one.

“For Every Action There is an Equal and Opposite Reaction”

And while this is true with everything that feels the pull of gravity, it is actually completely false in the world of relationships.  Part of that is obvious– if you love your man, chances are he doesn’t hate you back.

But the point is, you can love someone, and they may not love you back equally. They may not love you at all.

See how that violates physics? It is counter-intuitive, and completely out of our control. It is as if you pushed a door in, but the door pushed back with double the force– or with none at all (in both cases, you would be injured). I wish my boyfriend would like me as much as I like him, but chances are the perfect state of equilibrium… does not exist. And that is scary, and it makes both people vulnerable. 

I think women fear the inequality that’s inevitable with emotional reciprocity.

Its a mouthful, and it may not even make sense but let me break it down:

I don’t think women fear waking up to a man that doesn’t love them anymore. They fear waking up to a partner that does not feel the same way. And the knowledge that they can’t do anything about it.

A pink slip at work will never feel like the moment someone says, “I’m not in love with you”, and since that is true, a professional goal can never heal a personal injury.  [Read more...]

Ari Melo: Make the Girls Say Hello

I interviewed Ari Melo about a year after I had started listening to him, and the first thing I wanted to tell him was “Thanks for helping me stay on the treadmill longer with your song “Breakaway” . Its just one of those tracks that you want to keep listening to, because every few seconds it takes you for a different ride. And all his tracks (see below) are available for a free download because he’s just that generous with the eargasms.

Ari Melo, also known as Arian, is a pretty mellow (random as he calls himself) guy. He loves his sister,  can speak computer code — and counts dancing as one of his favorite things to do. 

Overall, he’s one of those guys you meet and know that even when he makes it big, he’ll still shimmy at the Persian mehmoonis.

xx, Saaghi
ari melo wall

[Read more...]

High-Five Yourself!

Saaghi here, I know it has been awhile– but we have such talented new writers that Farrah and I get excited to just share, share, share!

This latest post was inspired by this article I read the other day, 35 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Turning 35 by Hemal Jhaveri. Now, we all have our unfulfilled bucket lists, and it is inevitable that we’re going to have a few “I wish I had…”  but one thing really stuck out to me on this list,

2. Hooked up with that hot guy from New Zealand who I met in a bar in Bali
In your 20s, you think stuff like this will happen to you again and again, but trust me, it doesn’t. And he totally would have been worth it.

If you think I’m going to go on about how I think we should all hook up instead of thinking twice, you’re wrong. But I think Hemal captures something really interesting, the once-in-a-lifetime hookup. Sure, in college, you can trade saliva with a lot of frat boys, athletes, and pseudo-intellectual Socialists —

but once in awhile, life throws you a Gem of a hookup. And its not about love, or relationships, or anything like that.

Its a pure ‘HIGH-FIVE yourself’ moment, and that’s why it’s great. Because when you do turn 35, you’ll look back and mentally high-five yourself again.

image

And while meeting a sexy foreign guy and deciding against sharing some drunken kisses (or more) with him seems crazy, it happens a lot. One of my girlfriends turned down a successful Spaniard –who couldn’t keep his hands off of her– only to regret it two minutes later, and go looking for him again at the bar! I’ve had one or two gem hook ups, that I high-five myself for every time. One, in Paris, where my friends really helped me get the Parisian guy of my dreams..for a few hours ;).

Our usual instincts are : approach with caution, and don’t be promiscuous.

I’m not advocating that every night be get drunk and naked night, because you’re definitely not coming across these gems all the time (and if you are, give me the name of your city and I’ll move there) All I’m saying is–You have to know what you’re saying NO to, and if that will be a NO you’ll remember for a long time. Ultimately, everyone has their own principles, morals, and limits, but

You just can’t be too high-strung in your 20′s, you have the rest of your life to be that way. [Read more...]

I Have A Little Problem…

I have felt fat and imperfect since I was about 7.

I can trace it back to the moment when my mom started discussing my weight and how I was pudgy with our doorman in Iran. Iranians don’t ever shy away from making extremely blunt comments:

“You look a bit fat, have you thought of losing weight?”

“Maybe you should start taking care of your mustache, you aren’t a kid anymore.”

“That haircut makes you look old for your age.”

We have all heard it at some point.

But this moment never really left me, and from then on my body, what I ate, and how I looked became a dominant thought in my head. When my mom asked my best friend’s mom, who was a nutritionist, how I could lose weight at 13 — When constant comments were made about why is it that I just can’t have a tighter stomach. There was a constant voice in my head about my imperfect weight.

thin

I started throwing up after binge eating in my last year of high school. I thought of it as damage control. I can throw up the food that I would accidentally binge eat. It wouldn’t happen that often, mainly because I ended up going on a self-imposed strict diet of only fruits and vegetables for 3 months.

When college started I was determined not to gain the freshman 15. Outside of my bulimia, I’m a very healthy eater. People think that you can only binge on unhealthy foods, I’ve binged on all kinds of food and thrown it up, unhealthy food is just easier to throw up. I didn’t think about this as a problem for a long time. Again, it was a form of damage control. I would get stressed, I would drink, or I would be mindless and end up binge eating. Then, when I realized what I had done, I would go and take care of it.

hungry

There is a wonderfully sick feeling of emptying yourself, a sense of relief and victory. I never considered asking myself why it was that I was binge eating, or why was it that I felt the need to binge to a certain point to make myself throw up. As college continued, my stress continued, and my body issues expanded. There was only so much I could control at times. And this form of “damage control” was effective and immediate.

It wasn’t until last year when I recognized my little problem, when I actually gave it a name and called it bulimia. [Read more...]

How I (Can’t) Feel

First off, in case anyone remembers or remotely cares, I did meet my Persian girlfriend’s mother. I feel like it went really well. (see my last post here!)

This may have to do with my mother always telling me, as a child, how charming I was, translating into a false sense of supremacy.

Regardless, my girlfriend told me her mother liked me enough. Either I am in the clear or my girlfriend has a great poker face.

Second, I would like to thank Saaghi and Farrah for posting my blurb and genuinely caring how my visit went. They have set up a wonderful blog giving voice to first generation Iranians abroad. Merci Farrah and Saaghi joon.

I can’t express my emotions properly.

I’m not a quiet individual nor am I my great-grandfather whom apparently only spoke to berate the loose morals of 50s youth: “‘Laash’ women and their harlequin print dresses.” My issue isn’t that I’m an introvert. My issue isn’t that I think speaking about feelings is a feminine trait. My issue is that I don’t know what to do when feeling: sad, upset, vulnerable, distressed, etc…

I would categorize myself as an emotional person. I don’t mean that I sob during long distance phone commercials. I mean that whether I am really excited or melancholic, the emotion overtakes me. I have moments where I’m animated from happiness and moments where I’m as un-enthused as Al Gore in a library.
My mom has accused me of taking drugs. My doctor has accused me of not taking enough drugs.
I’m not trying to make myself sound like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, nor am I painting a picture of a cross between Cary Grant and Behrouz Voussoughi, I’m only trying to be honest. People whom I build strong relationships with, friendly or romantic, understand this about me. My girlfriend, bless her heart, know this well and remains with me, although I must say she isn’t always a walk in the park either. We’re great (for the most part) together.

This little biography brings me back to the first sentence; I can’t express my emotions properly. I can sit and listen to my friend, partner or parent speak about their issues and give semi-decent advice. However, when the roles are reversed, Lassie does a better job at explaining his issues.

This ends up complicating my relationships. Building a relationship is difficult enough as it is. While we always think and speak of our partner’s best traits, it is really their worst you must accept. This is a given, of course. No person is baggage-less. Even if I think Alicia Keys and I would mingle quite well, I’m sure she has characteristics I would have to try to get over; such as not knowing how to make loobia polo. My baggage is the stress I can put on a relationship by not knowing how to say “I am sad.” I end up going quiet or getting upset. What is worse is at times I don’t even know why I’m upset. My girlfriend then gets frustrated because I’m in a bad mood and I won’t open up. I have managed to string together sentences blaming her and the 1979 Revolution simultaneously for my own issues. I’ve also been a big enough jerk to blame her for lack of caring when she asks “what’s wrong?” An oxymoronic jackass.

I’ve read in the odd female magazine, yes I’ve looked inside Cosmopolitan and the Oprah one,

….that most men do not know how to express their feelings or that we’re afraid of our emotions. I find it funny that those articles are always written by women who do not have a) any clue about being male & b) testicles. [Read more...]

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