To FOB or not to FOB?

Hi Joonies,

Let’s talk about the advantages and disadvantages of dating FOBs.

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First, a basic definition to start off with so we’re all clear as to who this concerns:

F.O.B – (n) an acronym for “Fresh Off the Boat”, and refers to new immigrants to a country (mostly Western). Now commonly used to describe any person new to a country, who is not well versed with its language or culture (mainly Western). Can be taken as an insult, or a term of endearment (eg; pride of culture).”

PRO: They speak the mother tongue so well, and it gets you kind of hot when you guys are alone. And you know that amazing ‘Farsi/Persian‘ skills means a slam dunk with the parents.

CON: But then you realize that they have a Persian accent when they speak English, and that just makes you feel all self-conscious when you bring him around your friends. (and let’s be honest, you can never convince yourself that the accent is sexy.)

PRO: They seem to still have some old school culture and chivalry, and that makes you feel warm and lady-like– I mean, a man with manners who picks up the tab is always sexy.

CON: But some of that chivalry just turns out to be chauvinism and ….

PRO: In their lives, FOB guys have had it pretty rough and left everything they’ve known to come to a new country with a new culture. They’ve proved they can stand on their own two feet.– DAMN. #Respect

CON: BUT, they may be on the prowl for a woman just so she can replace his mom. He could be missing the warm meals and clean laundry. (watch out!)

PRO: Finally, there’s so much they can teach you about a part of your culture that you never got to experience because you’ve never spent more than a vacation’s time in Iran.

That, arguably, could be priceless.

CON: Or it could be exhausting because you’d have so much to catch them up on.

Hello, Pop Culture waits for no one!

So I guess the jury is out. With a FOB, you gain some -you lose some. It all comes down to a matter of personal taste (and patience), right?

thoughts on our new look? sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

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FOB/noFOB,

SAAGHI ساقی

Persian Girl Gone Wild.

Saaghi here. Its hard to follow after Maz/Jimmy Vestvood, but I’m going to try.

I worked an 18 hour day yesterday, and so tonight, I came home and got high. Loner stoner is not my usual thing- actually never–but Ive discovered  a new level stress thanks to my job. Its even giving me bad dreams, like last night–

I had a nightmare that my Persian Dad found out that I write for Sex& Fessenjoon. And he wouldn’t speak to me, even as I pleaded while balling me eyes out.

I woke up feeling just as sad as I was in my dream, but confused why it affected me so much?

For me, #SEXANDFESSENJOON is all about thinking twice about all that you’ve always been told is wrong, or zesht (dirty, looked down on, ugly, etc).  And partially,

its about defending my right to get high in my underwear, by myself, after work–as a Persian girl.

Or my right to have sex outside of a relationship.

Or even my right to be INAPPROPRIATE.

Cause lets be real, there are too many fucking rules.

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My confession though– Some rules only make sense after your break them. 

Especially the ones that you break over and over again. [Read more…]

No Choice But to Slut Her.

Joonies,

Read on, and bump this (thanks to one of our lovely fbook fans):

(your welcome in advance)

This is about to be every sexually liberalized girl’s ANTHEM. #LEGGOOO!

Do you remember when everyone started to read? I mean when Kindergartners started picking up books that had words  like “SEE SPOT RUN.”— Remember how some people read faster? And then before you knew it, you were in 2nd grade and some kids were reading novels while your mom telephone-ordered HOOKED ON PHONICS (noshameinthatgame).

Thats kind of how I feel about Persian girls and their sex lives.

Some of us are HOOKED ON PHONICS–some of us are reading WAR&PEACE. And the problem lies here: girls still learning how to pronounce their ‘T-H‘s look at the girls reading Tolstoy and Dostoevsky with a certain—eye. Like ‘what the fuck could that big, thick book be all about?’ -no pun intended ;)

Oftentimes, this division gets misinterpreted. People/boys like to make this a battle of prude versus slut, but us girls know what its really about: its a battle over knowledge.

& Knowledge is ALWAYS power.

common sense is power too.

So I love my girlfriends, I really do– they’re the methamphetamine to my crystal. And I’ve been on both sides, that is why I’m not using the ‘J Word‘ here (judgment). I have love for my experienced friends and my non-experienced ones, they all add some variety and flavor to my life. But lets get rid of the awkwardness shall we? 

Growing up, I definitely blossomed later than my friends and I was not very flirty or boy-crazy. I had one friend who was a bit older, and just the opposite of me- she just had it. I didn’t know what ‘it‘ was but it seemed to get her a lot of numbers at the mall and the movies. It was inevitable that out of all my friends, she’d get a boyfriend and start becoming physical with them much earlier then the rest of us.

I remember the first time she told me she gave a guy head, and my mind was blown. I was torn– disgusted, fascinated, and shocked. I knew other girls did that in school, but my friend had SEEN A PENIS?

And so the rest of us girls drew a red circle around her. Not a target, she was just not one of us anymore. We were still friends and hung out, but it was as if there was a distance, we just couldn’t connect with her– when she talked about hand jobs and blow jobs, we were all like deer caught in headlights. I know we all thought it–even though we wouldn’t say it–‘was she a slut?’

Sometimes I felt jealous that I hadn’t experienced it yet. Sometimes I felt like I had the moral high ground, and sometimes I was curious.

In the end, my confusion was rooted in ignorance.

I realized this very recently. I started hooking up more in college, and then I finally started having sex. And I didn’t tell most of my friends. It was a big part of my life, and I wasn’t discussing with anyone even though I wanted to express the emotions I was going through.

I thought–why am I keeping this part of my life so private? (Let’s be real, I can’t be that private of a person if I write for this blog). And I realized, I was afraid of the backlash-

I was afraid of having a red circle drawn around me.

I wanted them to consider me  a close comrade, I wanted them to still see me as ‘one of them‘….I didn’t feel any different being sexually active, and I didn’t want to be treated differently.

(I think its important to mention, that I didn’t care about being judged. If my friends judge me, they will, very soon, not be my friends)

But I’m tired of pretending. Why should I have to sacrifice a chunk of my life, because some of my friends are still reading Green Eggs and Ham and I’m reciting Hamlet? Its not a hierarchy. None of us– virgin, non virgin, blowjobqueen, prude– NONE of us are better than one another.

JUST KIDDING.

And you shouldn’t have to pretend with your meth, because you’re afraid they’ll feel left out that you hit a rite of passage earlier than them. Sex is a personal choice. 

My sexual experience began with a guy who I was not in a relationship with. The world didn’t come to an end. And it was fucking wonderful. I like being sexual, it is who I am, and I’ve taken control of it. I’m proud I’m past the awkward, confused virgin phase.

It feels right for me, right now.

Just because I’ve had sex, doesn’t mean I have the secret to life. Or that I’m a girl  who has lost her self-respect. Let’s not draw a redline between the experienced and the inexperienced. I don’t look at my virgin friends as little naive sheep and I don’t want them to look at me as a wise hooker.

Timing is important. And for girls on both ends of the spectrum– they need to realize that. I would never push my friends to start having sex, and I would never hinder them from doing it. If you read Crime and Punishment in 3rd grade, it most likely wouldn’t have had much meaning for you than if you read it at a point where you understand some of the larger themes. Same with sex, you do it when you’re ready– when it has meaning, and you can understand why you’re doing it.

For some girls it might be 18, for some it might be 29.

But we can all be friends, can’t we?

FACEBOOK US

sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

Keeping it Real,

saaghi  ساقی
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