As long as I can remember, my parents have told me that the guy I want to marry has to be successful, but really all Persian parents say that.
When I got to college I was pretty done with putting effort into dating. Then of course when I least expected it, or really even wanted it, a boy came around who was a little crazy over me. I was (as most Iranian girls are) super stand-offish, I just didn’t really want to waste my time on some guy who didn’t fit my parents criteria, and more importantly MINE.
I basically interrogated this poor guy for a week, asking him everything from what his ambitions were to what his parent’s careers were- they have to come from a good family right? Well turns out this guy wants to become a doctor, and to top it off his dad is a doctor, and to make matters even better- he was such an extreme gentleman.
Yeah don’t worry something went real wrong real quick.
I’m an Iranian Bahá’i, and drum roll please… he was a half White half Egyptian Arab Muslim.
Here is where it goes even further south, I’m not even religious. Around the age of 16 I just kind of figured out that this whole religion thing was not for me. I would attend Bahá’í gatherings for my grandmother’s sake, but really I was pretty disconnected from it all at that point. As I got even older I was completely over it! I have no strife with the Bahá’í Faith.
I actually think it’s pretty cool, but I just didn’t believe it in my heart or any other religion…
so I chose to stop faking it.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to break it to this guy that Arabs and Iranians have a not so good history, and Bahá’ís are being killed by Muslims as we speak. The icing on the cake was we left Iran because of religious persecution. You can only imagine how my parents were going to take the news. But what could I do? He is a genuinely amazing guy that happens to partake in Ramadan, and has Qurans around his house.
Well now I’m stuck…
I’m dating the forbidden fruit, for over a year to be exact.
My parents like him, but they’re terrified for my future and rightfully so considering their experiences with Arabs and Muslims has been just about every synonym of AWFUL. But I love this guy, yeah I said love, but how many of our parents have married the people they love? They just picked a khastegar (suitor), not the love of their life.
It’s old school of me to say love doesn’t always triumph…