Put A Cookie in the Douchebag Jar

Hi JOOOONIES,

T-1 day TILL FRIDAYYY.  Can’t be more excited.  I’ve been having major writer’s block this week…

There’s only so much sex I can have– and so many of those stories worth telling.

We’ve heard it all– the bad dates, the cocky guys aka the usual walking disasters I seem to be interacting with on a daily basis.

Bad dates aren’t hard to come by, actually it’s the good dates that rarely ever seem to happen for me.  I’ve experienced it all: cocky assholes, workaholics, cocky, shy, cocky, cocky, cocky.  And for many of us (like me), the time to say goodbye can’t come fast enough.

Unless they surprise you with that super awkward kiss attack– and then you both end up having to walk the same route to get home… FML, worst possible case scenario, happens WAY TOO OFTEN.  

ew

But there’s only so much damage a guy can do during the date.  Sometimes, it’s the aftermath that really f#cks it up.

A few weeks ago, I went on a date with this guy from work.  He was fun to talk to in the elevator– so when he suggested Persian food for dinner, how could I resist?

*Please note: he was NOT Persian… Armenian Lebanese– everything my dad would disapprove of… which made him that much more appealing.

There’s something about tall, dark and handsome I just can’t resist…

…And mix that in with some chelo kabob– I’m done.  Sold.  All yours.  Not much room to mess that up, if you ask me.

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Ain’t Fun if Your Homies Can’t Get Some

Hi JOONAMS,

I just want to start off by saying whoever decided that spring break wasn’t for adults was on some serious CRACK.

Moving on… (at least TRYING to).

I’ve mentioned this before, but when it comes to making friends, Persian girls are a tough crowd. We’re not friends with just anyone and we’re quick to hate on any girl that steps out of line.

Persian girls are firm believers in natural selection. We hate so that you become a better person.

It’s really for your own good.  We care about you that much. 

It takes us awhile to accept someone into our inner circle and according to any Persian girl, we are friends with the best of the best.

Persian girls know all 

But here is where we go wrong: when it comes to our men screwing up, we are quick to punish the girl before even considering hating on our man of the hour.

*This applies to women of ALL races- whether they’re black, Asian, white, etc.

We only hate on the “bitch who stole our man.”  How does that make sense when there are two consenting adults backstabbing like they actually have the right to?

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