I’m in LA BITCH

Happy Friday joonyjoons! We’re bringing you a nice dose of comedy today, courtesy of our favorite Iranians-that-give-us-a-bad-name, Iroonie LA. Thanks to Zedbazi (Persian rap group), we can now provide you with a song that sums up the LA Iranian rather well. And if your Farsi is “not so good”,  just enjoy the music– and read the rest of this post :) NOW we know not all Iranians living in L.A. are the same, but as the old Persian proverb goes: ta nabashad chizaky, mardom nagooyand chizha TRANSLATION: a truth to every rumor. (Farsi Lesson of the Day).  Let’s get started:

PERSIAN SATELLITE

I would rather listen to my parents lecture me for 48 HOURS STRAIGHT, then watch one of the shows on these channels (PARS, TAPESH, ITN, IPN, KOOFT, ZAHREMAR TV).

Quality= 0. Substance= 0. Entertainment= 100. On Persian satellite you will find the following: washed-out Iranian singers with WAYY too much collagen injected into their face, FAKE DOCTORS selling herbal shit or giving out weird ass advice to creepy callers, disgruntled old guys complaining about something political and PRETENDING to promote freedom for Iran while taking donations

That’s enough out of you guys, you’re just as fake as the backgrounds you green-screen.

Iranian TV in IRAN does a better job, and they’re controlled by this guy:

LOOK its a buff Ahmadinejad

PERSIAN POP MUSIC: As we mentioned before, modern-day  L.A. Persian Pop singers have less of a vocal talent, and more of a plastic surgery addiction.

we actually feel bad for you, is this your gimmick?

 But aside from going under the knife, they get really creative with their music videos & lyrics. Here’s our favorite, Sharareh arrives at LAX and breaks out into song:

“ta shodim FACE 2 FACE, very very good shod halam”

For those that don’t understand, consider yourselves blessed.

If LAX was a person, they’d kill themselves after hearing this song.

Also, I’m sorry for anyone if their mother dresses like the torshideh mail-order-bride singing in this music video.  And I know some people still love KamranHooman and Black Cats– but really, would you brag about them to your Non-Iranian friends? I don’t think so. How do you explain the fact that those two guys look more like girls? (they’re not Hichkas… that’s for sure)

TEHRANGELES FOLK

Pictures really are worth 1000 words aren’t they?

Just imagine dating one of these boys- they care MORE about what they look like than you do.  Alone time?  Forget it.  Even on the car rides home (obviously in their BM’Veh’s), you will be forced to endure shitty techno music…And the SEX?! Why do guys who spend more time on their hair NEVER know how to please a woman?

Oh right… it’s because they’re trying to look at their own reflection (shadow… mirror…) to give a rat’s ass about how the girl is doing.

Ughhh…

I believe Zedbazi said it best:

Tehrangeles, Are you really jealous that you can’t come to Tehran?

Wouldn’t you agree joonies?  And LA beezies- you’re definitely not off the hook with your designer shoes & “boobi amali” (fake breasts).  There is just TOO MUCH to say- we’ll be dedicating a post to you soon enough. In the meantime:

FACEBOOK US

sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

XX,

THE S&F TEAM

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