Life After College Sucks _____.

Hello there Joonies :) It’s Saaghi.

By now, all the graduates of 2013 have graduated already. And while I’ve never had any long-term dreams of being a commencement speaker, I think Mary Schmich had it right:

Inside every adult, lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out.

I barely count as an adult, but I’ve hit that one year post-graduation mark where I really wish I could stand at a podium and rain on everyone’s festive parade. I’d like to tell my peers how it really goes down— because it’s not just about sunscreen. (is my bitter showing?) From what I gather after talking to people aged 22-26, I’m not the only one who wishes someone would’ve told them straight up that Life after College sucks. I’ve mentally noted some of the reasons, thus far, I believe that to be true…

Welcome Graduates of 2013 to the real world where ‘Confused and Sarcastic’ is the new black.

image

I left the wonderful and fuzzy bubble of my undergrad years to deal with an extremely new lifestyle: a real job in a different city, away from home.  And right away, I hated it and I wished my Alma Mater could have taken me back for another 4 years. 

Things got a little better when I received my first paycheck, I felt like…

And it was all exciting, picking a place to live, being “independent”. But then this sudden sense of doom hit, and I realized somethings will never be the same. [Read more...]

Make Me Submissive, Baby

Happy Monday = R.I.P weekend

It was Superbowl weekend, and even though Niners lost– it was probably the best football game I’ve ever watched.

Jim Harbaugh proved that I have more in common with an NFL coach than I thought possible.

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So this post is partially an ode to Jim Harbaugh, who perfectly embodies the frustrated and helpless younger sibling in all of us.

In an earlier post, Farrah Joon talked about her take on dominating in the bedroom…and how it’s a lot better, when the guy takes control.  And to borrow a quote from the lovely lady that I think described her point definition of “DOMINATING”:

“HE TOOK CONTROL AND HE GAVE IT TO ME THE WAY HE KNEW I WOULD LIKE IT.” - Fifty Shades of Joon

And really, its true…while it may vary from girl to girl, almost all women like it when the man exercises some control. And without passing judgment, I have to ask:

Why? Why do we like it when a man plays the Dominant to our Submissive?

The ‘S’ word may be a dirty one, but deep down, every bad b*tch wants an equally (or more) powerful male to pin her down and give it to her good. [Read more...]

Love Me Not

JOONAMS.

T-4 till Friday– have you noticed how the beginning of almost ALL my posts start with the mention of Friday? That’s because Friday is fun-day and it is my life.

If you guys have been following us for awhile, then you’ve probably learned a thing or two about me.  1.  I moved far far away from my family.  2.  I have a slight phobia when it comes to commitment (click here). 

I think I’ve exhausted the topic of my family a bit– no more funny stories left, now just the pain, sweat and tears that follow an Iranian upbringing.  But that’s irrelevant for tonight’s topic.

I’ve always been someone who has to have control, who’s not willing to compromise and who’s biggest fear is vulnerability.

Clearly, I’m not as mature as I thought

[Read more...]

Will You Marry Me?

JOOOOOONSSS.

What’s up azizams.  Shit’s about to get real tonight… well kind of.  I’m going for some major honesty right now and I’m hoping you can understand.

I was at a friend’s barbecue a few weeks ago- My girlfriend and I were the only two people there that weren’t in “a couple.”  And there’s nothing wrong with that– in fact, half of my friends from college are married (scary right) and I have no problem with it.  Until… someone “pities” me for it.

get a room

At the BBQ, everyone else started sharing stories of how they met (over it) until one girl interrupts and says, “Guys, let’s stop– Farrah and X aren’t in a couple, this is uncomfortable for them.” (paraphrasing).

Excuse me?  Since when is your stupid ass story about how you fell into your boyfriend’s lap “uncomfortable” for me?  It might be boring and redundant… but I am by no means uncomfortable with a person’s relationship just because I am single.  If that were the case, then my best friend from college and I would have NOTHING to talk about anymore.

Furthermore, why is it that people automatically ASSUME we are single because we can’t get a boyfriend?

Since when is it “ignored” that we are single because we choose to be?

[Read more...]

Heads Will Roll.

JoonOMS. This is Mad Men inspired. :) enjoyyyy

Enough of the dating&sex routine for a sec. Lets talk business- literally.

How many of you have ever worked for an Iranian? Done business with an Irooni client? Or been in any sort of partnership with a Persian?

& finally, how many of you have found that experience to be…horrible?

Now that I have some experiences with a few of the q’s above- I’m wondering how standard it really is. Many of my family members warn me against doing business with our own kind, because of all the horror stories. But is it really rooted in fact?

Are Persians really good at screwing each other?  [Read more...]

Independence is Not a Crime

Hihihihi jooooooooons,

HAPPY FRIDAY!  Finally, a three-day weekend.  Its been too long.  I’ve had an especially shitty week.  On top of work (ugh), I had to deal with post-relationship distress.

You see, not too long ago, my boyfriend dumped my ass because I got a job before him.  I mean, I get it… to an extent.  Here I am, new in town, and I pull a job at one of the most prominent companies in the U.S. My dream job. He has his Master’s degree… and has been looking for a job for almost two years, with NO lead in sight.  Its dumb luck really (or I’m just that great).

ANYWAY, when he breaks up with me, he says he doesn’t want to be with anyone until he can get his professional shit together.  Okay, I accept.

Last night, he says he’s dating someone new.  STILL NO JOB IN HAND.  What does she do?

She went to his high school in some butthole town in a random ass state, and is now a Kindergarten teacher.

I have nothing against teachers, because where I would be without them? Oh yeah, on the streets.  But here is my problem:

He picked someone that would never be his competition.  She will always be his subordinate, he will always be higher than her even if he has a hard time finding a job- she ain’t got shit on him.

CLASSY.

Deal with it

But me?  I’m different– I’m not like that.  I will never put a man before my professional career and that’s just how I was raised.  Was I supposed to turn the job down because he might break up with me? NO.

Here is the deal:  if you’re really a MAN, then no matter what life throws your way- you should be able to handle it.  Even if your girlfriend or wife does better than you professionally.  Screw this bullshit stereotype that teaches us that MEN have to be the successful ones.

Even on TV, you watch these lame ass shows about women who are the top dogs at their company yet they’re always alone. And for some reason, they’re always depicted as unhappy.  

Why?

Men are taught to be chauvinistic pigs.

They learn early in life that if they can’t be the breadwinner then something is WRONG with them.  And if women are killing it in their careers, then they’re a heartless bitch.

 It is NOT our job to be submissive… it is NOT our job to be VIRGINS, it is our destiny to improve. This stigma that we have to be less than our men is the age old story, and I am fucking tired of it.

Now that we have it we’re a lost cause?

Its time for a new story.

I’m tired of hearing about how couples like “Seal and Heidi Klum” got divorced because she was doing better in her career than him.  Or that Oprah isn’t married because she’s just “too successful“– when in reality: MAYBE SHE JUST SUCKS IN BED!  I’m tired of hearing that if I choose to excel at my job, then I might never have a family.

But most of all, I’m tired of the fear.

Do I have to be in a stagnant position just to ensure that my personal life is successful?

How does that make any sense? 

ESPECIALLY as Persian women, we are automatically supposed to know how to cook, sew and be child raising  professionals.  On top of that, we are expected to remain sexually inexperienced.  Why?  Well that’s what womanhood is right?  Its “CUTE” to be a virgin.  Guys like that.

Guys want us to be innocent with no job in hand and an untouched hole. What a bunch of gender bias bullshit.

May not be parallel, but they intersect

Dear ALL MEN (especially Persian men),

If you want to be THE MAN, the sexy, confident, successful man that we all want at our side, then you should be happy for your woman… don’t overcompensate by choosing someone below you.  Be with someone who challenges you, motivates you.  Its the twenty-first fucking century- it ain’t 1945, so stop acting like a douche.

And women:  Excel.  Be motivated. Don’t just be good at your job, be great at it.  Its a new time- as women, we are all standing up and fighting for our place.  Even women in Iran are fighting to make a difference– women in Iran attend University at a higher rate than men do.  It was the women of Iran who first organized the Green Movement and motivated the people to go to the streets to FIGHT for what they believe in.

#wisdom

So ex boyfriend, I’ll leave you with this– I hope you marry Miss Kindergarten, really I do.  She’s MY subordinate, and you really don’t deserve to be with anyone at my level. sorryboutit.

Its time to stop being a little bitch.

MAN THE FUCK UP PEOPLE.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

Love,

FARRAH فرح

I Don’t Give a F#ck About Your Sadness

Hey joonie joons,

Have you ever been on a date with a guy who just talks… and talks… and talks… and an hour drags by, and not only have you COMPLETELY lost your appetite (which isn’t normal for you) but he probably hasn’t asked a single question about YOU.

You just kinda sit there looking bored as fuck yet… he still doesn’t get the hint AND KEEPS ON YAPPING about who the fuck knows what– all you hear is “Yeah I’m awesome… bla … bla… please take this stick out of my ass,” when really he’s probably saying something more like, “Yeah I’m awesome… because this one time at band camp…”

Can I switch my date to the guy sitting over there?

What is it with guys these days?  They either call you because they want to tell you about all the great things going on in their lives… or they hang out with you because they just like to hear themselves talk.  Self absorbed with a side of cocky?  YEP.  Excuse my bluntness: but… I’m annoyed.  

*disclaimer: I am fully aware that not every guy is like this.

um I’m about to shoot myself in the face now, thanks

Remember those days when guys used to complain that women talk for hours on end and only text them when we need something?  OVER.

I have a theory:

 As women start to become successful, men feel the need to overcompensate.

Case in Point:

My last boyfriend was a great guy- on the outside.  He had his Master’s degree (in something unusual), we had the same interests, and his Farsi was great (is it just me or is that really hot).  Then one day, I started noticing that he would change the subject when I would mention something exciting that happened to me.  I didn’t brag… I was just excited to share it with someone that I cared about, and thought the feeling was mutual.

Then BAM out of the blue, he broke up with me the night before I started my first grown-up job.  Why?  Because I got a job before he did.  (GROSS)

Now, as we try to be friends, he only contacts me when he wants to say something about himself.

For example: “I did this today!” or “I got this opportunity today!” ME… ME… ME… Umm hi, I’m a person too- thanks for remembering.

In order  for a friendship to work- BOTH people must be engaged- you want to share your stories… and you should ask to hear theirs, no matter how insignificant it is to you.

In order for a relationship to work, BOTH people must support each other- no matter what punches life throws your way.

No one wants to deal with a guy who is going to act like this:

… AAAND I’m over it

Talk about the ultimate turn-OFF.

I understand that need –> the need to prove you’re not a total fuck up.  But keep the sharing to a minimum.  Just like guys, girls like a little mystery too.  Plus, we can usually tell within the first 10 seconds of talking to you whether you’re really a fuck-up or just having a difficult time.

The more you seem interested in us, the more we will be interested in you.  

Only people like Snooki believe this… DON’T be a Snooki

Joonies: take it from someone who learned the hard way– don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t secure enough to handle your successes.  At the end of the day, it will feel so much better when you find someone that does.

Its kinda like the song: You’re so vain.  You probably think this “post” is about you, don’t you? 

Sorry but, not everything is about YOU so do us a favor, and GET OVER YOURSELF. 

Disagree?  Am I the one that needs to get over myself or do I just suck at picking the “right” guys

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US 

Always keepin’ it real,

FARRAH فراه


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