I Do What I Want

HI JOONIES.

Happy Memorial Day- this is one of the few times a year where we actually LIKE Mondays.  Just a quick order of business, if you guys email us through our “CONTACT US” page, please make sure you put an email so we can get back to you.  We never like to leave our joonies hanging.  Anyway, we thought you guys might be a little tired of hearing about our Persian parents… so what better way to change it up than with a guest post? Meet DON DRAPER (Persian Version): he has a lot to say about his upbringing and Irooni mother.  So check it out and let us know what you thinkkkk: 

“Davash nakon! Madaret marize, MIKOSHISH!” Translation: Don’t fight her, your mom’s sick, you’re going to kill her!

Me: “Mage chi dare?”  What does she have?

“Hanuz marize, mimire!” She’s still sick, she’s going to die!

 “…Saratan dare!” …She has cancer!

That was an actual fight between my aunt and I.  My mother and I had been fighting about whether I could drive out to a friend’s party one Saturday night.

But my mom didn’t have cancer.

It was a trick.

(My mom had been diagnosed with minor cancer and had the cancer removed 6 months prior).

The point: give in to your mom. Do what she wants. I’m willing to lie about your mom having a terminal illness to get you to give in.

Maman! Vhere do I go?

As long as I can remember, my strong, controlling Persian mom (let no one fool you – women are the stronger sex in Iranian families – soosool Iranian men are aplenty) was willing to go to any length to impose her will on other people. But she always did it with finesse – never directly, never rude, always suggesting, always making threats implicitly.

The message: I can’t trust you.  You can’t handle anything on your own.  The world’s too dangerous.  I can’t even let you try.   [Read more...]

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