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Blow the Grenade Whistle

Hey joons,

I have one word for you: GRENADES.

Don’t know what that (or in this case “who” that) is?  Listen to The Situation (this is the one time we will EVER advise listening to that douchebag):

Ever heard the guys talk about how they mack on the ladies?  Approach the pack with a wingman… the wingman “extracts” the grenade from the girl you’re trying to get at… and BAM. Done deal.  Well, it goes both ways.

 Guys can be GRENADES too.

And sometimes we, women, just have to extract the “grenade.”  Too bad, guys these days are so damn cocky that they actually think they have a chance when all we’re trying to do is distract you from being a total cockblock for our friend.  

Classic Grenade

Let me tell you a little story: 

I decided to play wing-woman for my friend one night.  Her guy friend wanted to hook her up with his friend- who was not only cute, but it seemed like they had a LOT in common.  She’s a good girl, deserves a nice guy so I decided to take one for the team and accompany them for a night on the town.

Well the matchmaker was a short, balding, round guy. Before you think I’m completely shallow, let me tell you about his personality.  Loud, rude, crude, talked … and talked… and talked.  They couldn’t even get a word in to get to know each other.  Isn’t that what the point of the night was supposed to?  So they could get to know each other? Apparently not.  Shortie was a complete attention-whore… and the worst kind because he actually thought he was funny (badbakht).

So it was my job to “extract the grenade.”  I maintained the conversation with him separate from the two hopeful lovebirds while they got to know each other.  But sadly, Shortie thought that my attention meant that I was actually interested in him to the point where he was trying to get on the entire night DESPITE my constant rejection.

Are you on fucking CRACK?

TAKE A HINT

Listen up boys, here are some key things to remember: 

(1). Just because a girl is talking to you doesn’t mean she wants to suck your dick.

(2). No means no.  Just because I didn’t kiss you one drink ago… doesn’t mean I’m gonna kiss you 2 drinks later.  And if someone does, who the fuck knows where that mouth has been (just keepin’ it real). 

(3).  Cocky isn’t sexy.  Sure you see guys like Pauly D and The Situation acting cocky and somehow they get girls.  But do you know how many GRENADES they’ve fucked just to get one hot girl?  Plus, most of you aren’t making $100 grand per TV episode, so you really shouldn’t be trying to act like them.

Ultimately, here is the bottom line: just because you ain’t cute DOESN’T mean that you can’t snag a hot girl and lucky you, I’m going to tell you how:

(1). Don’t overcompensate.  Like I said before, cockiness is NOT cute.  Its all about confidence, SWAGGER.  Saaghi and I are HUGE fans of guys (short and tall) who have swagger.

This Shortie’s got #swagger

(2). We know you have some “great” stories, but we really don’t want to fucking hear about it the first night we are talking to you.  sorryboutit. 

(3). Most importantly, DON’T BE THE GRENADE.  Don’t make yourself into the guy that we are going to talk shit about on our blog.  That’s just embarrassing.  And gross.

Don’t be the rule, BE THE EXCEPTION.

 SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US 

XO XO,

FARRAH فرح
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  1. Reblogged this on SPVCX.

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