Presidents Come, Presidents Go, Talking Shit is Forever

Hey joooons,

In honor of President’s Day, we thought it might be fun to look back on some of our favorite, SEXY (and least) presidents of all time.

Starting the countdown:


Hey Jimmy

Not only, do we love the white bowl-haircut, BUT: he is the “Father of the Constitution.”  If it weren’t for him (and several others), the United States would never have had such a “body proof” legal system.  How can we forget laws that deemed African Americans as 3/5’s a person?  Never.  Especially since, he owned hundreds of slaves… Classy.

But thank God, we had other presidents come into the picture to reform those racist bigotries that trickle throughout the Constitution like its no one’s business.



What up Abe

While Abe Lincoln may not be the MOST physically attractive guy– he took life-changing risks that still effect us all one way or another.  On top of being harsh, strong and a believer in rights for all– he didn’t do the typical presidential thing and live at the White House- he stayed in a cottage during his presidency and rode on horseback to and from the White House everyday.

Not a big deal?  Sure, but too bad people tried to kill him on his way there every damn day.  Not that this ever stopped him because he would be up and out before his security could trail him since it was the only time of day he had to himself.  Awww.

Father of the Emancipation Proclamation, Abe died the day before it was ratified.  But don’t worry- we never forget presidents who leave a lasting, positive impression.

While Abe was truly inspiring, we have had other presidents that weren’t so much…


Can you say: CLUELESS

We’re glad the U.S. doesn’t discriminate … really we are.  Who would have EVER thought that we would elect a president with three D.U.I.’s under his belt?  NOT US. 

please don't shoot me Dick...

While George had the audacity to name Iran as one of the “Axis of Evil,” we don’t really think he was that bad of a  guy.  When Hurricane Katrina happened, he went and personally spoke to families that were affected by the disaster.  He had a heart… too bad he was stupid enough to name people like Dick Cheney and Karl Rove as crucial members in his presidency.  If Dick Cheney’s last friendship- where he shot the guy in the face– was ANY indication of what kind of man he is, we would have hoped that George would run far far away from him.

But sadly, he didn’t and he’s included in this list because we are pretty sure he is a five-minute man– alcohol d*ck anyone?

On to the next…


If I flash my underwear, will you do me too?

Some of us are too young to remember much about former President Clinton, other than his scandalous Monica Lewinsky affair, but he was a certified Frat boy, first president of the Baby Boomer generation and often described as a “New Democrat.”  But MOST IMPORTANTLY, he beat George H.W. Bush and kept him from serving a second term.

Thank god for that.

Unfortunately, Clinton’s horn-dog reputation STILL shines over some of his many accomplishments– for example, he was a major advocate for EDUCATION- something that we ALL benefit from.  And look at his wife!  Our current Secretary of State– yeah she said she would obliterate Iran if she were elected president, but hey- she wasn’t.  Like we said, talking shit is forever- it doesn’t always get you where you want to go.

Now, how can we write a post about memorable presidents without naming the infamous:


No wonder Marilyn liked you so...

Not only was he the youngest man to be elected into office (at age 43), but he was the first president to win a Pulitzer Prize.  For what…? He published a book called Profile in Courage featuring U.S. Senators who risked their careers for personal beliefs.  Hot.

JFK was most known for his domestic program, “New Frontier” which promised to rid racial discrimination, provide federal funding for education, medical care for the old and elderly, and other promising economic reforms.  Unfortunately, many of his programs weren’t passed by Congress (sound familiar? *cough Obama haters cough*), BUT Congress did eventually vote them into law AFTER JFK’s assassination in 1964-65.

Last but not least…


President Obama stepped into the limelight at a time where Americans had lost all hope.  He came and instilled a new sense of hope within all of us and while many like to argue that not much has changed since he stepped into the presidency, here is something we should all realize: Obama stepped up and took over after MANY mistakes were made.  Shit’s gotta get worst before it can get better, and with the upcoming elections coming up- it looks like some people need a rude awakening:

(1). Obama signed the reauthorization of the State Children’s Health Insurance program, which provided coverage for an additional FOUR MILLION uninsured kids.

(2). He reversed a policy that limited stem cell research allowing for the future advancement of science.

(3). In 2009, he proposed new regulations on power plants, factories and oil refineries in an effort to decrease the risk of global warming.

(4). Additionally in 2009, Obama signed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act- which ensures that crimes motivated by someone’s gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, disability be included in the United States federal hate-crime law.

(5).  Furthermore, he signed OBAMA CARE.  If you need us to explain WHY this is important- well… you need to brush up on your Wikipedia skills.

If that’s not enough?  He is the first African American president to hold office, and he appointed two women to the Supreme Court within the first two years of his term.  How often does that happen?

Plus, he looks good

We’re tired of hearing that Obama hasn’t done anything.  Its hard getting shit done when your House of Reps is held mostly by Republicans out to get you.  But like he said in his most recent State of the Union, “Put a bill on my desk I can get behind, AND I WILL SIGN IT INTO LAW.”

So Happy President’s Day joonies.

Who’s your favorite president?







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