We Play By My Rules

Joon joons,

Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, I’ve been quarantined off to my room for the past day (and tomorrow).  Crazy wind and rain got nothing on me – I’m still kicking. To all our readers on the East Coast — stay safe and dry.  Sandy can’t touch this.

I’m not really a fan of break-ups.  For obvious reasons, I’m sure most of us aren’t. If I’m the one who wants to do the dumping, I will do everything in my power to avoid it and encourage the other person to do it for me.  I’m so mature, clearly.

My go-to move: “let’s take a break” in hopes that in those few days, the guy will come to his senses.  That rarely happens.

Honesty is always the best policy.

The one time I was dumped when it wasn’t on my terms – it devastated me.  Love was never really a factor and my lack of worthy relationship experience didn’t really prepare me for what followed the breakup.

I turned into one of those girls that I’d always looked down at — crying constantly…

I started my job the day after he dumped me so having to be the “new girl” with a fake smile on my face was probably one of the hardest things in my first few weeks of work.  I couldn’t eat my lunch, I would escape to the bathroom to keep tears from falling in front of everyone, and I cried everyday on the metro back home after work.

There’s nothing wrong with any of that — sometimes you just have to purge out your pain but…

The real world isn’t going to wait for you to sulk over your ex-boyfriend.

To simply say that I wasn’t myself is an understatement. The last guy I had ever cried over was the guy I lost my virginity to.  But I guess it can’t always be sunshine and butterflies, right? I mean, look at Sandy taking over like it’s no one’s business.

Needless to say, I learned a lot from that relationship.  I was so blinded during it that when it was over, everything just hit me one reality check after another.

1).  Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

I lost a part of myself when I was with him.  I stopped being outspoken, I followed “his rules,” and I never took a step back to realize what he was really like — selfish, jealous, and maybe not someone I’d normally go for.  It’s so easy to look past the things that you question when you’re excited about a new relationship.  But that’s how you set yourself up for disappointment.

Just be yourself, guys can either take it or leave it.

They should really like you for you anyway.

2). Listen to your gut.

When I got my job, I had this feeling that it would somehow affect our relationship.  I ignored it – I thought “no he will be different” and when the exact thing that I was so afraid of actually happened, I felt stupid.  I felt stupid because I knew and I convinced myself that he was somehow worthy enough to be better.  

Your gut never lies – there’s something about intuition – you just have to follow it.  No questions asked.

3). BFFLs (best friends for life) are non-existent

This one really is all on me.  I always want to be friends with who I’ve dated in the past.  I just feel like if we were close enough to fuck then why can’t we just move past that and be friends?

Um yeah, I’m clearly trippin off some hurricane nonsense right there.

It depends on the extent of your relationship.  If you guys were boyfriend/girlfriend for two weeks then 1. you shouldn’t be counting that as a relationship and 2. you should get over the drama and just be friends.  But if you guys had intimacy with one another, a relationship, then how can you just go from being lovers to being completely platonic?

Someone will always get hurt.

With my ex, once I felt like I was over it — I wanted to be friends.  I wanted him to continue to be in my life and a huge part of that is because maybe I wasn’t entirely over it when I made this decision.  Why the hell would you want anyone in your life that hurt you? It was a blinded attempt to stay close to him.

*Don’t be so blinded.  Enough said. 

When he rejected my attempt at a friendship, I was hurt all over again.  I was annoyed, confused, and just pissed off.  That’s when I realized that I was giving him way too much credit – and we all give guys way too much power especially in a break up.

Whether they’re leaving you because they just lost their feelings, or they’re leaving you because they’re jealous — it shouldn’t make you into the “crazy one.”

Don’t feel beneath them because they left you.  Feel empowered.

Clearly, they’re not meant for you anyway.

There will always be another guy out there who will be better for you.  That’s the problem with getting your heart broken – you think that no one will ever be able you feel the same way.  But if some guy is going to leave you, it’s because they don’t deserve you — it’s because it’s not meant to be.

It’s relationships like this that help you weed out the losers on your road to finding someone worthy.  Let’s be honest – no one wants to end up with a guy who can’t handle your successes. That’s unattractive on all levels.

We all deserve someone who gives a shit.

(not literally).

Sorry joonies – Sandy brought out my sensitive side tonight.






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  1. Hi, was the guy Persian/Iranian or not?

  2. Honestly since I discovered this blog (website, whatever) I love it. You deserve more viewers. This blog kinda remindes me of this one: They are incredibly good. I hope you are fluent enough in Persian coz you’ve got to follow them! Writers are bunch of divorced Iranian women, most of them left Iran seeking a better life. They write about anything, from their good and bad experiences in and out of Iran, oppression they felt in Iran, sexual repression and sexual adventures, etc. One of them specially is good: Violetta (not her real name obviously). She is a libertine, leading a dissolute, student life in Australia (if I am not mistaken). She shares her experiences in a memorable fashion. This is one of her recent posts:
    As I said, there are other writers too. Also every week they have a guest writer, some of them are awesome and you can gain fresh perspective of how Iranian youths think, like this:

    Although they are admirable, they are not perfect: they are a bit intolerant toward religious views and commenters. Anyways, I am a bit to enthusiastic about them. Let me know what you think about them.

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