Keep Your Man and His Hands to Yourself

Happy Friday!  When it comes to a relationship — some of us just can’t handle being alone (wtfff…).  Check out our guest post this week — she’s not having that nonsense. TGIF! 

Joonies, I have a bone to pick with:

girls who can’t keep their men and boys who can’t keep it in their pants.

You know who I’m talking about, we’ve all seen them, have been friends with them, and yes, we’ve all talked behind their backs… I’m talking about the girl who thinks she’s got a great man and she’s latching on to him for dear life.

And the kind of guy that wants his girl to be around as he fucks up over and over, because aside from being a douchebag he has “the package”. (the mohandes, Doctore, lawyer, blablabla). Don’t get me wrong, I like a guy with “the package” (and a package, if you know what I mean) as much as the next girl but when your relationship becomes so toxic that it starts to fuck with your sanity, then you just need to stop, drop everything and just GET OUT. At the end of the day though, people do what they want– sticking around, taking it–and its really of no consequence to me… usually.

but then there are those girls who can’t deal with their own insecurity, especially when their man’s wandering eye lands on you.

She blabbers on about how much she loves him, but you see him eyeing you and the new girl with a really short slutty bandage skirt. You see him pour shots and hand em around: one for you and one for the shortly dressed.

If you’re like me, you crave attention, why else would girls wear tops that barely hold everything in, even if they’re not down for getting laid?

Here’s the secret: when you go out, even if you’re not getting it in, you at least want people going home thinking about you before they end their night with a drunken quickie on top of their boring girlfriend.

I know I sound like a slut, but I’m not, I REALLY AM NOT. I just like the attention…EVERYBODY DOES, why else would girls wax and pluck and go through so much shit?

Because we want to be the prettiest girl in the room.

With all that said, I don’t think a low cut shirt or a tight dress should be an excuse for anyone’s dumb ass boyfriend to try to get all up on my junk (breasts to be exact) and inappropriately joke with me or any other girl for that matter.

My cleavage is not inviting you to be unfaithful.

More often than not, alcohol exasperates the situation and we all know Persian guys are notorious for drinking beyond their limit. So before you know it, you have a drunk guy who can’t tell the difference between your ass and his girlfriend’s ass … nor does he want to. While he is trying to “accidentally” frisk you in the corner, he tries to pour you more shots so that you will be drunk enough at some point in the night to not resist his hands (and hopefully his doodool).

Then you turn and see his girlfriend’s giving you the death stare. You can see in her eyes that she REALLY wants to push you down the stairs in your 4 inch heels. She wants you dead.


Gotta love the “death stare”…the kind that you’re mom would give you when you ate all the “shirinis” at “mehmouni” and you knew you were gonna get some serious spanking when you got home. But this miserable soul has worked so hard to keep this guy and she knows how to play the game, how else is she keeping such a “catch”?

She won’t start a fight right there, she doesn’t confront. That’s not her style (that’s why he likes her around). She’ll walk over and pretend everything is dandy and fine but in reality she is thinking of a million and one ways to destroy your life inside and out.

I’m sure it sucks to feel inadequate, to feel not good enough but to choose not to see the real problem – the boyfriend – and to blame everyone else – most often, people like me – is just wack.

She can’t expect everyone to act, talk, and dress differently around her man, because 9 out of 10 times, he will look at someone else instead of her throughout the party. I just wanna yell and be like “Bitch you’re retarded”. But I know it’s a never ending cycle for these girls AND FOR THE GUYS TOO.

These girls are “relationship bulimic”…they stuff themselves beyond their limits, but once they feel like they can’t take it anymore, they hurl, and out comes their nasty vicious games and gossip and lies.

Before you know it, you’re appointed the new slut of your Persianville and have slept with everyone and their brother even though you’ve been really having a case of jungle fever all this time (and no, not even a really dark Persian satisfy your needs).

So, if you’re a girl with no balls, or can’t handle your boyfriend’s, please don’t direct your animosity and hatred at me or people like me…direct it at the guy who’s turned you into the psycho bitch that you are. And if you’re a guy who goes for girls who are relationship bulimic, who you swear will NEVER take home to your mom, well, I have news for you… you don’t know the real game plan.

Your girlfriend is invested in you and she is in it for life… doesn’t matter if you dump her ass 3 times, she’ll find her way back to you and before you know it your popping the questions without even wanting to and she will be the mother of your children.

The best part is, when that ring goes on her finger, a collar snaps shut around your neck and she’ll reveal her true colors. I guess what goes around comes around, so you end up being her bitch, but this time for life

…or till divorce do you apart (and half your money)!






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  1. This post was weak and vague. It just doesn’t fit your blog… Just saying

  2. Who is this girl? I like Farrah and Saghi better, bash is right this post doesnt fit in

  3. sorry, I agree with Bash. Not only was this post just bad, I have several negative things to say about the person who wrote it too. I don’t sympathize (and I can barely relate) with this girl at all.

  4. Yup i agree with everyone else here, this is just… Wrong! I do not relate with it at all.

  5. I actually LOVED this post. We’ve all seen those types of girls, and you’re so right about them being relationship bulimic. Great read.

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