Make Me Submissive, Baby

Happy Monday = R.I.P weekend

It was Superbowl weekend, and even though Niners lost– it was probably the best football game I’ve ever watched.

Jim Harbaugh proved that I have more in common with an NFL coach than I thought possible.


So this post is partially an ode to Jim Harbaugh, who perfectly embodies the frustrated and helpless younger sibling in all of us.

In an earlier post, Farrah Joon talked about her take on dominating in the bedroom…and how it’s a lot better, when the guy takes control.  And to borrow a quote from the lovely lady that I think described her point definition of “DOMINATING”:


And really, its true…while it may vary from girl to girl, almost all women like it when the man exercises some control. And without passing judgment, I have to ask:

Why? Why do we like it when a man plays the Dominant to our Submissive?

The ‘S’ word may be a dirty one, but deep down, every bad b*tch wants an equally (or more) powerful male to pin her down and give it to her good.

And then I read this TIME article, Why Husbands Who Share Household Chores Miss Out on Sex, and the results are even more reinforcing that as women, our culturally programmed turn-ons are pretty well rooted in outdated gender roles.

It doesn’t necessarily turn me on when my boyfriend does the dishes or cooks, but when he puts on his suit or talks about his job, I get all sorts of tingles everywhere. And none of this is conscious. And arguably, it’d be hard to train my vagina to tingle for things it doesn’t want to– but, I’ve bitten from the fruit of the forbidden tree.

Now every successful woman that I look at, I think about how she probably likes it from behind in handcuffs, or loves to be talked dirty to while on her knees.

Have our vaginas not kept up with the times? Is there a disconnect between Sexual Roles and Gender Roles? Can I be submissive in the bedroom and still walk away a powerful female?

The answer to all of the above is still TBD. But I personally think: Yes to all of it.

Our vaginas are merely our sexual organs with nerve endings, these nerves take cues from the brain. The brain is an iceberg, a lot of  our thoughts are subconscious and a lot of what we take in is subliminal. If there was a way to control it, there would be a mobile app for it.

Gender Roles are like fossils that we look at a moment in time. They’ve developed over a much longer period of history, and in that moment we can’t really alter the way the fossil has formed. One can argue that Sexual Roles are similar, in the sense that there is something very caveman-like about the act of sex, and to alter the biology and the rituals — it would need a massive evolutionary time frame.

& Finally, you can enjoy sex in a non-judgmental space– in any role you choose– whether it’d be submissive or as an Elf Vampire from Middle Earth– and walk away with all the dignity and integrity you walked in with. It’s up to both partners to create an honest sexual space, where no woman feels like she’s the ANTI-feminist because she likes a little spanking ;)

Word up to all our inner JimBaugh’s.




Submissively yours,

SAAGHI  ساقی

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  1. Simple biology. No matter what the PC pundits say.

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