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Trust is BLIND

Hey joonies,

Happy Hump Day! Few more hours until we’re over the hump and THAT MUCH closer to the weekend. You’d think that with the three-day weekend we just had, I wouldn’t be so greedy. But work takes up about 80 percent of my time so excuuuuse me for feeling the weekend blues.

In all honesty, I just want to sleep in and watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don’t judge – reality TV is my ultimate guilty pleasure – but I don’t feel so guilty about it.

Anyway, I’ll get to the real point of this post sooner rather than later because I need some help from you guys on this one:

trapLet me back up for a second…

I’ve always been very… independent when it comes to men. I don’t trust easily and it’s not because I’ve been so scarred for life, but because I feel like every time I begin to trust one – I get let down.

The fear of vulnerability outnumbers any desire to take a risk.

And I’m actually quite okay with that for now because I truly haven’t met anyone that I can see a future with.  So it’s really out of sight out of mind for me… until I realized that…

There are different degrees of trust in any type of “romantic” relationship: (1). you trust your partner to stay committed and (2). you trust the guy you’re f#cking to refrain from [figuratively] f#cking you over.

Regardless, trust is always going to be an issue in any relationship you might have – whether it’s professional, friendship, relationsh*T, etc.

But how do you determine what makes a person trustworthy?

al

My friends always say “trust is earned”- but how do you know when someone finally earns it?

They bring you lunch everyday for a week and you decide that you trust them?

Or they put on a condom without you having to ask therefore, you trust them?

I don’t really buy in to the notion that “trust is earned,” I think trust is a feeling.

When you “click” with someone it’s because you feel comfortable with them (whether it’s a friend or a lover).

As I’ve said in the past – I decide how I feel about someone within five minutes of meeting them – and I’ve rarely been wrong. (#judgement)

If someone rubs me the wrong way within five minutes of talking to them – it’s likely that I will never be open to trusting that person.  But if I can be comfortable with someone and hold an enjoyable conversation – then I’m likely to trust that person in the future. Make sense?

never

Of course a lot more plays into my instant reaction to trust or not to trust…

Or am I just relying too much on my emotional connection to a person?

Are we all just constantly proving ourselves to each other as a trustworthy counterpart or can someone tell that I will keep their secrets just by looking at my face? (stare into my eyes baby).

What do you think joonies? How do you know when you can trust someone? Is it just a feeling or do you have to put people through the ringer every once in awhile?

How do YOU know when you can start sharing your deepest darkest secrets – or when you can start having sex without worrying he’s going to douche out on you?

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET AT ME IF YOU TRUST ME: @FARRAH_JOON

TrustinYOU,

FARRAH
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Comments

  1. I am a married man and for some odd reasons, I’ve started feeling awkward and embarrassed of sharing my thoughts on a post written and read by girls (I used to comment on your posts).
    Sorry, I need to get over this feeling before ranting about trust.

  2. Billy Django says:

    “Or am I just relying too much on my emotional connection to a person?”

    If you are asking that question, then it’s obvious that you’re having second thoughts about it.

    My opinion is that it depends. With some people, you can feel it because they are emotionally in tune with themselves so who they say they are is well, what they are.

    Others are not emotionally in tune with themselves so it takes a while for you to prod and probe to figure out who they are.

    Regardless, I’d say be careful around even the most “trustworthy-looking” person you meet. Prod and probe and let some trial and error work on them to figure out what they’re made of.

    Plus, trust shouldn’t be blanketly bestowed upon people. Everyone’s different in how they live and how they react to other people. Let me give you my example.

    You can trust that if you are in trouble, I will always be there. However, you cannot trust that you’ll always be able to get a hold of me because I’m not always around. You can trust that I can cheer you up if I’m in a good mood, but you cannot trust that I’ll always be in a good mood.

    My advice?

    Categorize your levels of trust. There are things that you may be able to just emotionally trust people with and things that you need to give them time. This allows you to be both free and fun and cautious and protective of yourself.

    Later, jeegar.

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