Friendly Kissing

Long time no speak joonies :) how you been?

Since I had a conversation with a friend last week, I’ve had this unanswerable question that’s become a Rubik’s cube inside my brain.

Can Two Friends share a kiss and somehow go back to being friends?

And I guess this goes back to, can you ever be friends with someone you’re attracted to? Or can a guy and a girl ever really be friends?  The girls who always hang out with guys will tell you: yes, you can be ‘just friends’ .  And guys with lots of girlfriends echo the same sentiment. But when you get into a relationship, all those ‘innocent friendships’ no longer seem so innocent to your significant other.

In fact, it’s more like a disaster waiting to happen….with enough time, alcohol, or dry spells.

And this does prove to be true time and time again, when Platonic Friends end up exchanging Kisses (or more) on a dance floor, or at a party, or even during an awkward moment in the car.

So after you cross the line with a friend, is the only way to save things is to start dating them? Risk finding out you actually can’t stand each other and dumping the friendship. Or is it to start a friends with benefits type thingy? This way you just move the line over and pretend you never crossed it.

Is the regular, good-old, friendship off the table?

Probably for awhile it is. Because it breaks down to three scenarios:

1) Unrequited feelings: One person wants more than a friendship, the other wants just that. And even if there’s some tongue action–there’s no relationship here.

2) Benefit Friends: Even if both parties are down, this is messy. Think about it like this– the more clothes come off, the deeper you’re burying the “friendship”.

You cannot be Friends and Sleep together.

People who say that they sleep with their besties, are only telling half the story.

3)  No Balls, Big Problem: Both people are on the same page: the kiss was a mistake. they’d rather go back to being friends.  The Can we pretend it never happened? line is one everyone’s too afraid to use, but most often what shows the most caring and affection.

Instead of having the balls to say this, most people just default to ignoring the other person–hoping  that going MIA is clue enough that there shouldn’t be follow up kissing. And that really hurts feelings, in turn hurting the friendship.

So I think with the way I’ve broken it down, No you can’t just seamlessly go back and rewind a Friendship after it has crossed the line.

Of all the ;friends’ I’ve crossed the line with (there aren’t many because of my incapability to have guy friends) There is not one scenario which the friendship bounced back within that week, or month. With one friend, it took over a year…Of course, it wasn’t just a kiss then…If you claim you’re just friends, then getting physical will only mess with expectations and the dynamics of your relationship. And it’ll be complicated.

So Kiss a Friend only when you really mean it.





SAAGHI  ساقی

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  1. As soon as I saw your profound philosophical question: “CAN TWO FRIENDS SHARE A KISS AND SOMEHOW GO BACK TO BEING FRIENDS?”, I stopped reading the rest. You don’t need to feel the obligation to write when you don’t have anything to write about!

    Take care.

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