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Wonder Bread Addiction

My first crush, at five, was John Smith. Yes, I’m talking about John Smith from Pocahontas. The first person I wanted to marry was Harrison Ford- I used to watch Indiana Jones movies obsessively. After realizing that the last 5 guys I had dated/hooked up with were all white, light hair, with light eyes, it dawned on me:

I have a soft spot for the white dudes.

My Irooni friends constantly make fun of me for my tendency for the blonde, blue-eyed dudes, one even calls it my “wonder bread addiction.” What makes white boys (aka “wonderbread”) fun to date compared to Persian guys?

1.  They are attracted to you:

Everyone wants to feel special, when your culture and background is something a guy doesn’t know about, suddenly there is a lot more he can ask and get to know about you.

Mundane things, like talking to your mom over the phone in Farsi about a doctor’s appointment, will sound sexy to a guy who has no idea what you are saying.

Teaching him about your culture, introducing him to Iranian food, and talking about different traditions is a fun way to get to know someone. Feeling desired and special is a huge turn on (and a bit addictive), and if a guy respects you enough to learn about you and your culture, then why not use it to have fun?

2· No Drama:

Persian Girls get a bad rep for having gossip and drama ridden lives. Why don’t we ever talk about all the gossip that happens between Persian guys? From having their egos bruised easily, to getting into feuds with friends over ridiculous things. No thank you.

3· Can you relax?

I’m a pretty laid back girl, I don’t need to go to fancy restaurants or clubs to have a good time. While some Persian guys will throw a fit if their water doesn’t have ice, American guys can just relax. Want to go camping? They will take you camping, can you imagine if some of the Persian guys you know went camping? He would bring his hair gel and moisturizers.

His overpowering cologne would attract all the bears to the tent.

4· No Doodool Tala:

Persian guys, especially the ones with a doodool tala complex, suddenly want you to not only date them, but also be their mother, therapist, and personal chef. The expectation that you will suddenly start taking care of everything for them, and on top of that, listen to them whine about their lives just never worked for me. We come from a culture where so many women take care of everything without complaints. Persian men can get used to this type of life, even if they grew up in the west.

White guys, on the other hand, will help you with chores, and don’t expect you to feed them and rub their backs as soon as you start dating.

My friends call my taste bland and plain, but I think white guys are sexy. Any of you got a thing for white dudes too?

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

TWEET US: @SEX_FESSENJOON

FACEBOOK US

VIRGINal,

YASSI  یاسی
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Comments

  1. Adam Levine, yes please!

  2. Totally disagree with your attitudes toward Persian guys! probably the ones you’ve been dating were in their 40’s or the older generation!

  3. I married a white guy; so yes, I have a thing for wonderbread!

  4. can we iroonis for once don’t generalize? ps I dated white girls before after a while they just start hating our culture so I went back to good old irooni girls ps I think our girls are way sexier

  5. Persian guys are what persian girls want from them.

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