I Can’t Stay Away From Persian Girls

Eide hamatoon mobarak.

While I have no qualms getting funky on the 31st of December, the first day of spring is my new year. Not only because it is the Persian New Year, but based on the solar calendar, frankly it makes the most sense. Nevertheless, I never miss Iran and my family as much as I do during Eid. All of them in Shomal, eating fish, rice with herbs and raw garlic. Being surrounded by my family is what I miss most during Norouz.  While an unhealthy amount of coddling meant I had to move away from my family, I wouldn’t mind sitting around being overfed by my mother just about now.

Happy New Year to all of you, but a special Eid to those who couldn’t be with their families for whatever reason.

I love Persian girls. I am easily most attracted to them from a superficial standpoint. Their hair, their eyes, their skin, frankly I’m a sucker for Persian girls. Having said that, why is it that every time I end a relationship, no matter how serious or casual, with a Persian girl, I take a huge break from them?

date

Not from girls, from Iranian girls. The truth is, relationships I’ve had with Persian girls have been by far the most mentally taxing.

Numerous occasions I found myself thinking “just date another ethnicity”, it is much easier. However, after awhile, I always find myself slowly gravitating towards another Persian girl.

I’m not here to bash Iranian girls. There are things about dating them that I adore. Oh, what is it you ask?

1.) Farsi: I love speaking Farsi with my partner. I always find a special connection when I can speak Farsi with a girl. She doesn’t need to be fluent or perfect, I’m definitely not, but I’ve always been infatuated with a girl who speaks it. Also, for some reason, I always revert to Farsi in two instances: When I want to tell her how much I love her and when I want to tell her how upset I am. Those two emotions are conveyed perfectly in Farsi.

2.) Culture: It is always exciting to date someone of another culture, but I always like it when I can share my Persian culture with my partner.

I find that having this connection with someone in the western world is something special.

We can make Iranian jokes, have plenty of Persian food (no, she doesn’t have to cook), listen to Namjoo and talk everything Iran. Also, it is always helpful if a girl knows the rules of tarof.

shahs

3.) Beauty: I am mesmerized by Iranian girls. I can play with their hair for hours. I get lost staring in their cat-like eyes. Their beautifully toned skin that doesn’t need to wait until summer time. It’s superficial yes, but they are just so pretty.

Now that you may not crucify me (how fitting as it was just Easter), I will tell you what I don’t like about dating Persian girls. The generalizations that lead me to losing my mind every now and again.

*I would like to say that I’m only referring to Iranian girls I’ve dated in Canada. Due to obvious political situations and customary norms, my points aren’t about Iranian girls in Iran.

1.) Gossip: There’s a chance Persian men gossip, but it cannot be nearly as much as Persian girls. Unfortunately for their general image, every Persian girl I’ve dated would spend so much time gossiping. She would tell me everything from who Niloufar slept with to how much Maryam spoke behind her back (ironic?). The problem is that I know for a fact this isn’t a phase.

When my maman and her friends get together, it sounds like “The Persian View.”

2.) Foozool: I will say right away that this is applicable to ALL Iranians. However, I am discussing my experiences with dating Persian girls. I can’t stand it when someone is being foozool around me. I’ve had Persian girls whose favourite past time was prying in the lives of others, even being por rooh enough to ask me about my close friends’ relationship problems. This includes a couple of them going through my phone and texts. A big no no.

lily

 3.) Drama/Jealousy: Persian girls feed off drama. Again applicable to All Iranians, but much more to girls. Of course when there’s a big group of them congregating at a social event, you just know that there’s beef somewhere. The most dangerous Iranian girls are the ones that say “I’m not like Persian girls, I don’t like drama.

 4.) Volatile: There are men who flaunt their womanizing ways. My talent is that I’ve managed to piss off my share of women. Trust me, no girl can come close to matching the fury of an angry Persian girl. I’ve been smacked, had things thrown at me and have heard phrases I didn’t know existed; all by Persian girls.

You cannot get more fiery than a worked up Iranian girl. Confession, this also turns me on about Persian girls.

5.) You are no Geisha: You may have noticed I find Persian girls to be beautiful. That’s why I don’t want to share her with her mirror. You do not need to put so much makeup on. Persian girls have a very unique look to them, which is actually accentuated when they don’t look like a Moulin Rouge dancer.

Conversely, there is a valid argument to be made about how Persian men suffer from terrible traits.

The generalizations being that Persian men are needy, jealous and uptight. Just as Persian girls need to tone down the makeup, Persian men need to lay off the hair gel and cologne. Just as Persian girls need to tone down the drama, Persian guys shouldn’t be so sensitive, as Persian guys are just about the worst when it comes to sensitivity issues.

reza

Perhaps it is because our mothers coddle the adult right out of us. Which, by the way, leads to the many Persian men who seek a mother figure in their partner.

Many of them who don’t think that’s true, just haven’t realized it.

Either way, I’ve talked a big game, but it is extremely difficult for me to stay away from Iranian girls. I will always remain drawn to them. I have met numerous strong and independent Persian women that don’t fit negative generalizations, so I don’t need to act like a doodool about it. To be honest, I’ve met more needy, sensitive Persian guys than gossipy, volatile Persian girls. Just barely.

Also, I wanted to say that an excellent post was just written by Yassi entitled “I have a little problem”. A definite read so check it out.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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CHECK OUT OUR SHOP JOON

……,

NIMA نیما
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Comments

  1. It’s ‘to piss off’ not ‘to piss of’.
    (Number 4: Volatile).

  2. I’m Persian, but I honestly don’t gossiping or drama at all.

  3. yeaahhh…this is kinda bullshit. im only half persian, and american. But im a girl and this is full of offensive shit. You should probably check yourself, dude.

  4. Iranian-American says:

    Agreed. This piece makes so many generalizations about “Persian girls” that it can’t not be offensive and disrespectful. Nima, I appreciate that this is your first post, but I think you should take into account the audience for this blog–largely, the Persian girls that you like to date. While I’m sorry for the experiences that you’ve had with certain ones, they say nothing about Persian girls in general. I’m none of the things you wrote, and I felt incredibly judged reading this post.

    I feel surprised (and, to be honest, disappointed) that S&F published this post. What makes S&F work as a blog is that Saaghi and Farrah write about their experiences without making explicit generalizations. In telling us their stories, we connect to them, and the blog becomes generalizable (not the other way around).

    • There is humor to be found in the generalizations throughout this article, as it is clearly laced with sarcastic remarks. I doubt that the author’s intent was to offend It’s okay to laugh..you’re supposed to.

    • Nima is also writing this from his own point of view and mentions this is about girls he has dated specifically. Sure, there broader generalizations being made here. And frankly, all of them are accurate. I’m only half Persian, and I live in the Midwest (re: Minnesota nice) and I have seen this shit go down in my family, social circles, and through friends of friends. This article is not directly attacking some bitchy girl Laleh or pointing out the direct shortcomings of some guy named Hamid- they are applicable in all senses across the board, but its their potency that differs from person to person. What else would you have liked to read about Persian female behavior? Would you feel any differently if the sentiments were not “negative” and instead positive? Would you still the article for its generalizations if the content was different? Also, this is not Nima’s first post.

      Nima, I really liked this article. I enjoyed reading it as a Persian female and laughed. While some of it could be perceived as harsh, you didn’t aim to speak accurately about an entire culture, you drew from firsthand experiences – which is what writers do, everyone. I can echo some of your sentiments and have experienced these things first and second hand, in my family and social circles, and sometimes myself. Farrah and Saaghi, this is your blog and you curate the space. Thank you for having Nima on board to offer a male perspective on things. I know that if you thought something was a bit uncouth, you’d raise it with the author in question prior to publishing.

      Mashallah!

  5. Why are you so offended? These are generalizations however you MUST be crazy if you doubt some of what has been said by Nima. We connect to Saaghi and Farrah because of their experiences.. however Nima’s presence on this blog is to let us peek into a guy’s perspective. I know that there is definitely some hyperbole in Nima’s post about how dramatic or volatile Iranian women can be. There is a hint of truth though and I think that can be confirmed by the comments made already.

  6. Dariush!!! A portrait of an overly sensitive irooni says:

    quick comment why are people so offended by generalizations and stereotypes? The reason they exist is because there is some truth to them. This is a hot topic because if what Nima said was not true then there would not be so much backlash from the those that have commented. I am an Iranian guy and I date a caucasian American women. Who is really my better half and much calmer than I am. She jokes with me but at times I get sensitive and take this as a serious attack on who I am. I was so sensitive to these comments that at times our conversations were just bickering matches because I was sensitive to a joke. What Nima said was in fact a reassurance that I am preprogrammed this way and at times my disposition has led to my girlfriend not even being able to have a conversation with me. The truth as much as we may not want to hear it is sometimes the best for our personal growth!

  7. Your whole post was a generalization, I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I am Persian but I am not jealous, volatile, etc etc. Not all girls are the same, therefore not all Persians are the same.

  8. Pardis: Thank you.

    Mahya: I don’t doubt it.

    Aava: Yes, you are right. The whole post is filled with terrible generalizations. I’ve met numerous Persian girls who are contrary to almost everything I’ve said, as mentioned in the latter part of the post. I’ve, unfortunately, been intimate with Persian girls who have mostly fit these traits though.

    Greta: I’m sorry you find this offensive. I can write about my successful romantic escapades, but I’m sure you won’t read it.

    Dariush: Yes, we are generally very sensitive. Must be true, as nobody argued against it.

    Ghazal: There is more truth in how emotional us Persian men are.

    Iranian-American: I also know how it feels to be judged. This is my third post.

    Merci for all your comments. I appreciate your views, and enjoy reading what you have to say. There are many strong Persian women who have influenced my life, you know I’m talking about you Nasim, however it wasn’t elaborated upon this post. These are all poor stereotypes I’ve conjured from past romances. Also, no one argued that Persian males aren’t needy, uptight and jealous…I don’t blame you.

    For those who are interested, I am currently in a relationship with an Iranian girl who is VERY different from the characteristics I wrote about. She read the post and thinks I’m an ass. Well, she is a little foozool.

  9. All of you are idiots, this is fucking true.

  10. hahahah Sanam damet garm!

  11. Sadegh Hedayat says:

    Mr. Nima,

    Very amusing post, I thoroughly enjoyed reading what your personal perspectives on the matter were. I must say however, I found the comments quite funny as well in that the ironic and sarcastic tone of your (obviously) carefully chosen words wasn’t quite identified by your general readers. I would just like to add that your readers should consider the piece in front of them on their respective computer screens and then decide to criticize the writer in that articles on S&F, at least the ones written by Nima are neither labelled to be or should be expected to be pieces of investigative journalism that would require hours of fact-checking and other due diligence requirements for publishing. Nima’s articles are to provide a perspective on his mental framework of the world around him. If the purposes of these articles are defined as such, then his writing and wit is both necessary and sufficient to warrant a different expectation on the part of your readers and lets the rest of us enjoy your views without risking you thinking the need to appease some of your reader’s misidentified expectations. S&F, thanks for the articles and NIMA keep them coming, I think you’re a very witty and funny writer and it would be a shame for your articles to have to shed these attributes.

    best regards,

    SH (obviously a pseudonym)

  12. I agree with what he is saying… and relationship dynamics are so different in Iran. It’s not just the girls that are clingy, the guys are, too. You are supposed to text 24/7 and call constantly and be together always… I agree with all you said, but I think a surprising number of those traits apply to Persian men, too. They are super dramatic, too.

  13. I’m surprised you didn’t put in how much Persians cheat, or how much girls may be faithful but they are always comparing you to others and keeping an eye out for someone better…. dating has become a competitive game, and is no longer just a natural process…

  14. i don’t who you’ve dated but i’m sure there are some intelligent, thoughtful persian girls out there who respect your privacy. you should keep looking. and think twice before dating a persian girl, some of them are smart and tricky!

  15. Sorry for the late response –

    Sanam: Blunt and to the point. Doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong. I like your style.

    Sadegh Hedayat: First of all, excellent name. Thank you for your kind words to wrap up the comment. Yes, it’s definitely not investigative journalism. This is more or less a satirical post on a few “not-marriage-material” relationships. It is applicable to anyone, anywhere, they just happened to be Persian girls. Thank you most of all for taking it as it is, a light hearted piece.

    Elnaz: Brilliant way to put it. “Dating has become a competitive game and it is no longer a natural process”. I love the quote. It is true that dynamics are much different in Iran. Cheating in Iran is the norm, as far as I remember. Unfortunately, girls in Iran are really berated if they have more than one sexual partner in a short amount of time. With so much being taken away from you, choosing who and when to have sex can be an independent act. Just like Winston and Julia in 1984.

    name?: Yes, you are correct.

    Thank you everyone for commenting again.

  16. we, Iranian, are always escaping from each other. The reason why i decided to leave Iran is being away from Iranian, and trying to change some of my own behavioral habits considered taboo by people from other cultures. One reason we are always gossiping is the fact that we have no other job to do. Consider a person in Academia who has to dedicate most of her time to studying and doing research. If you are so overwhelmed with your own job, you will never find enough time thinking about the problems of yourself let alone what others are doing, eating, wearing, etc. I think you are mostly focusing on the beauty of the girls you choose to date.

    • Blog full of angry Persian girls :) Thank you so much Nima you took the words right out of my mouth, haha. Totally loved the balanced if somewhat hilarious overview

  17. Yet another person who thinks all Persian girls are rich, from wealthy families and have so much money that they can spend time doing these things. It’s getting old. You do know that poor Persian girls exist, right? Those of us from poor families with cab-driver dads who had to study hard and were made to focus on school, not boys. Those who got scholarships to the best universities, and those who aren’t even into their looks. I’m a Persian woman and I like clothes and shopping, and doing my hair and makeup but I’m also very poor and can’t afford that shit all the time. I didn’t seek out a Persian man or a man with money, I just found someone who likes me and treats me well, who I am attracted to. Seriously, lots of us grew up straight up POOR. And Persian people who are so poor are not very materialistic and into drama. I barely even have friends, let alone gossip or start drama. I don’t know anyone and if I did know lots of people, I wouldn’t be interested in drama. I like going to the gym, working at my job, smoking on my time off, and hanging out with my boyfriend. I’m nothing at all like what you’re describing. You don’t sound like you really know Persian women.

  18. Hello Nazzi,

    First off – brilliant idea adding the extra ‘z’ in your English spelling.

    Majority of time, no matter my thought on the reader’s opinion, I won’t comment that they’ve read incorrectly. Perception is a fascinating thing, and by no means are there universal agreement. Except for writing Nazzi with two ‘z’s.

    I do have to say, however, that I’ve either written an extremely poor piece or you’ve misunderstood.

    In absolutely no way am I referring to Persian girls who grew up “poor” or in working class families. My now Persian ex-girlfriend worked extremely hard to live an independent life from an earlier than expected age. She afforded herself the opportunity to make her own decisions by working hard and attending school simultaneously. My mother raised my as a single mom – and further explanation isn’t needed in this space.

    I may have been completely off queue. I may have stereotyped a minority. I may have written about the Anti-Nazzi. But I was definitely not commenting on Persian girls who grew up/live in poverty.

    Sincerely,
    Nima

  19. Persian princess jwoww says:

    Honestly who gives a shit not everyone likes Persians some do some don’t it is what it is just like other races some like Jews some don’t some like blacks some don’t everyone has their own opinion but at the same time be careful how much of your thoughts you spill especially on the Internet it could get messy.

  20. Persian-Guy says:

    Good post.

    My experience has been the same down here in So Cal. Been with Persian girls born here and abroad, and here are some of my observations/tips for Persian girl readers.

    Positives
    – Tarof is not foreign to them (if they were not born here), which is always nice. Makes me feel like I’m doing something I’d do for a any girl anyways, but I feel more fulfilled because they act like everything is “not expected.” Tarof is great.
    – On that note, the culture in general, love it.
    – Similarly to what Nima said, speaking Farsi with a girl. Especially if they just came from Iran, you learn words and phrases you’ve never heard from these girls who just moved here, its crazy. And I’m fluent.
    – So I prefer the ones from Iran who just moved here, not the ones born here, usually. But most Persians are pretty immersed in the Persian culture (girls and guys).
    – They are gorgeous. I love brunettes, but Persians are the cream of the crop, so to speak.
    – They are thoughtful and do little sweet things, like if you injure yourself weight lifting or something.
    – They have attitude and they also put on a facade, but I like this sometimes; it can be a turn on. That glare of disapproval with their big Persian eyes, You all know what I’m talking about. Some times I’ll just slap a “conservative acting” Persian girls ass at a mehmooni, in public, or around her friends just to get that reaction. Its priceless.
    – They at least act more conservative, i.e., I learned early on never to refer to a Persian girl your “intimate with” as your friend. I made the mistake of telling one Persian girl, in the context of our own conversation (not to anyone else), that she was a good friend. She didn’t say anything that moment but…
    – This brings me to my next point… Persian girls, like most girls, don’t forget anything. But they are very very socially intelligent. This is a positive and a negative. They act very calculatedly, regardless of their educational attainment – socially, they are all smart (both those born foreign and domestic). This is likely because no Persian mom raises a fool, guy or girl. But the girls are MUCH better than the guys when it comes to social manipulation. As you can imagine, you call a Persian girl your “intimate” with your friend and she’ll bring up the fact that she “doesn’t do friends with benefits” and doesn’t like being called a friend and try to use that to pressure you into a relationship.
    Negatives:
    – I find the younger Persian girls are a safer bet. After a certain age, they lose the filter; its no longer “I don’t do friends with benefits” after months being :”good friends.” Once they hit about 25-27, they’ll be blunt and tell you right around the time you start getting intimately involved that they “need to get married” or “they need SERIOUS commitment.” The whole reason I don’t use the title BF/GF with Persian girls is because that’s the only barrier/wall from them discussing how they need to settle down.It’s a culture thing, I know. But lady’s, don’t throw that on us; at least with me, its disconcerting. Seriously. I’ll stick the title GF on a white girl I like half as much as a Persian girl merely for the security of know they aren’t going to talk about a serious future together. Then again, other guys may be looking for this, I don’t know.
    – Also, you Persian girls definitely know exactly what to say to mess with our heads. Just something simple that could appear harmless, but you girls know exactly what your doing. This goes to your social intelligence; but this is a negative aspect.

    As you can see, the positives far outweigh the negatives and any negatives (and positives) can be blamed on our general Persian upbringing.

    So in short, I’m always coming back to the Persian girls as well; just work on the clinger factor and realizing Persian guys are sensitive (as Nima pointed out). You girls know what your doing, don’t mess with our heads and try not to come off as clingers and you’ll go far. I hope that gives girls some insight and I hope I’m not spilling the beans on what the guys are thinking (or at least this guy is thinking).

  21. lol, I’m not agree !!
    Iranian girls have a fully makeup face. They are not a good option for marrying.
    I prefer to marry an alien but not a PERSIAN or IRANIAN girl :)

  22. Not agreed its upon choice, worlds all girls are beautiful.

  23. You spoke a lot.

  24. I have no idea who you have been dating, but I think you may need to meet me lol. I don’t even know how I came about this article, it’s too funny! I’m in Canada too by the way.

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