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Life After College Sucks _____.

Hello there Joonies :) It’s Saaghi.

By now, all the graduates of 2013 have graduated already. And while I’ve never had any long-term dreams of being a commencement speaker, I think Mary Schmich had it right:

Inside every adult, lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out.

I barely count as an adult, but I’ve hit that one year post-graduation mark where I really wish I could stand at a podium and rain on everyone’s festive parade. I’d like to tell my peers how it really goes down— because it’s not just about sunscreen. (is my bitter showing?) From what I gather after talking to people aged 22-26, I’m not the only one who wishes someone would’ve told them straight up that Life after College sucks. I’ve mentally noted some of the reasons, thus far, I believe that to be true…

Welcome Graduates of 2013 to the real world where ‘Confused and Sarcastic’ is the new black.

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I left the wonderful and fuzzy bubble of my undergrad years to deal with an extremely new lifestyle: a real job in a different city, away from home.  And right away, I hated it and I wished my Alma Mater could have taken me back for another 4 years. 

Things got a little better when I received my first paycheck, I felt like…

And it was all exciting, picking a place to live, being “independent”. But then this sudden sense of doom hit, and I realized somethings will never be the same.

Being surrounded by a group of your peers? Gone.

Having Learning be your day job? Ha no.

Believing the only authority you answered to was a Professor with a grading curve? Bye bye bye.

 Life changes –which is fine, if the next chapter is as exciting as the previous– but if you’ve ever had class readings you know there are some readings you just skim.

REASON #1: YOU CAN’T SKIM THROUGH THE DIFFICULT CHAPTERS OF YOUR LIFE, AND BELIEVE THAT YOUR BS-ING SKILLS WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH.

Maybe this is a good lesson, though. Where college failed, post-grad life succeeds in teaching what real work ethic and hard work really is all about.

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As if realizing that you spent 4 years building up the shittiest work ethic ever wasn’t enough, you start noticing that your friends are going cray too. We’re all on different roller coasters, some are free falling while others are looping around.  And I mean Friendship is about ‘being there for each other ‘ and all that great stuff, but after a long workday grind —

Cheetos become way more attractive than any long-winded human contact.

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Reason #2: Social interaction becomes an effort, therefore your Social Life loses its ‘Zest’.

And of course, anytime there’s Cheetos alleviating any problem there’s a sudden increase in the size of your jeans. Instagram, Facebook, and free time only help to make you feel that your weight gain is proportional to how many people seem happier than you.

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And by happier I mean, FREE, TRAVELLING THE WORLD, STILL IN COLLEGE, or ALL OF THE ABOVE.

REASON #3: Suddenly it seems the number of people doing better than you has grown exponentially. The world seems to be filled with many more under-30 billionaires and humanitarians.  

Comparing yourself is probably something you shouldn’t do, but will do anyway. So all I can say to that, is do it–sparingly. Because before you know it you’ll feel like…

and that overall, in your life…

And you really don’t want to go down that black hole. Tis’ not fun.

Really the truth is, we aimed high in college because we could. But the time-distance thing was all fucked up. You could work hard and get an A in three months’ time.

In life, you have to work for much longer and sometimes the ‘A’ never shows up. Sometimes you put an ‘A’ effort forward, and you get a D. It is like the real adults said from day one….

Reason #4: Life’s not fair. But it isn’t fair to anybody. 

So you could either do this…

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or embrace the fact that when you get unlucky, there are probably a few other million people getting just as unlucky.

Overall, you count your blessings because it is the inevitable turning of time that puts us all in this position where we question

Who am I?

Where do I want to be in a few years?

Do I honestly prefer Cheetos to my friends?

 They are the hard questions and I’ve come to see that:

If you come up with an answer easily it means you’re not thinking about it hard at all.

One year out of college, and I know this to be true:

Reason #5: Leaving feels like the…

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SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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TWEET ME: @SAAGHI_JOON

confused and sarcastic,

SAAGHI  ساقی
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Comments

  1. preach

  2. As a Jewish girl are you allowed to marry a non-jew?

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