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Great Sex on Campus

Hey hey,

This has been kind of a rough week, no? I’m not talking personally – but everyone’s emotions is in a funk after the verdict of the George Zimmerman trial. Now all over social media, cases of injustice against black people are popping up left and right. With every article I read, I literally feel sick to my stomach. The way I see it, guns shouldn’t be used on kids (or anyone really) period. And as for racists – dude, get over yourself.

America wouldn’t be such a “strong” nation if it weren’t for unique people. Racism is just a petty excuse for lack of education. Read a f#cking book and save us all the trouble of having to deal with the consequences of stupid decisions.

Now that I’ve given my two cents on the whole situation – #JusticeforTrayvon – we can move on to tonight’s topic…

Relationships. This article by The New York Times (click here) was sent to me by a joon on the hook-up culture at college campuses, and after reading it, I had some thoughts. Here is what this writer says:

But Elizabeth A. Armstrong, a sociologist at the University of Michigan who studies young women’s sexuality, said that women at elite universities were choosing hookups because they saw relationships as too demanding and potentially too distracting from their goals.

In interviews, “Some of them actually said things like, ‘A relationship is like taking a four-credit class,’ or ‘I could get in a relationship, or I could finish my film,’ ” Dr. Armstrong said.

Increasingly, she said, many privileged young people see college as a unique life stage in which they don’t — and shouldn’t — have obligations other than their own self-development.

Furthermore, they go on to cite this:

Ms. Patton, who graduated from Princeton in 1977 and is now a human resources consultant in New York, said in an interview that she wrote her letter after attending a conference on Princeton’s campus, where she took part in a discussion about careers with a group of female students. At one point, she asked the young women if any of them wanted to marry and have children. They at first appeared shocked by the question, then looked at one another for reassurance before, she said, “sheepishly” raising their hands.

“I thought, ‘My gosh, what have we come to that these brilliant young women are afraid to say that marriage and children are significant parts of what they view as their lifelong happiness?’ ” Ms. Patton said.

“They have gotten such strong, vitriolic messages from the extreme feminists saying, ‘Go it alone — you don’t need a man,’ ” she added.

But, in fact, many of the Penn women said that warnings not to become overly involved in a relationship came not from feminists, but from their parents, who urged them to be independent.

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This isn’t the 1970’s. Just because some women choose differently doesn’t make them an anti-relationship/marriage sell-out.

I felt like the author was criticizing young women for choosing to advance their careers and f#ck at their pleasing instead of following that laid out plan to marriage without looking at all the facts.

Here’s the most obvious problem with this article — are we even going to address one of the main factors of the relationship equation? MEN. What are men doing while women are clearly jumping on top of them? THEY’RE DOING IT TOO.

Forgive me but, I don’t see herds of men knocking down doors to find a wife. And that’s okay!!! As long as it’s okay that some women aren’t either.

pll

It takes two to hook-up and in my recent experience, most men are trying to advance their own careers too (especially in DC). They’re not exactly looking to settle down because most of them don’t even know where they will physically be in the next five years. I think a lot of women are facing that especially as career starts to play an increasing role in their lives.

And with all of that competition out there – all of these amazing kids who are coming up with ideas like Facebook and Twitter, or reporting overseas or starting other types of start-ups, it’s no wonder we (along with many men) have to work twice as hard. Yes, shocking, that DOES mean we have to make time for extracurricular activities.

Sorry bro – but telling interviewers that I spend my evenings from 6-11 pm guzzling happy hour specials and blogging about sex isn’t going to up my chances of making a decent living. (it SHOULD, and maybe one day it will… #dreaming)

And frankly, I shouldn’t have to start depending on a man just because I can’t make my own money. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership after all.

In my world, some of the most successful relationships are co-supporting relationships versus dependent relationships. This doesn’t make me a “crazy feminist,” I’m just observing what’s around me.

Also, let’s not discount the fact that women have to work harder to get to the same place as men do. I don’t care if anyone is tired of hearing about it, but gender discrimination exists. 

dAnd please, if we’re going to criticize women for wanting to hook up for a night or not get serious about a relationship, then we should judge the men too. Plus, I don’t really think everyone has to find their dream man in college – because if that is the case, then I’m totally screwed.

Here’s my last complaint – from the article:

 In a 2007 survey funded by the Justice Department of 6,800 undergraduates at two big public universities, nearly 14 percent of women said they had been victims of at least one completed sexual assault at college; more than half of the victims said they were incapacitated from drugs or alcohol at the time.

The close relationship between hooking up and drinking leads to confusion and disagreement about the line between a “bad hookup” and assault. In 2009, 2010 and 2011, 10 to 16 forcible sex offenses were reported annually to campus security as taking place on Penn’s campus or in the immediate neighborhood.

Ok, yes there is a strong correlation with alcohol/drugs and assault. But you can’t completely take alcohol out of the equation and assume that it will decrease the chances of assault. One of the biggest lessons I learned from college and campus one night stands is that you can’t blame the a-a-a-alcohol.

People are going to drink and do drugs. Let’s get over that fact, and instead preach safety and responsibility versus finding something (or someone) to blame.

So here’s what I propose:

– We should all do what we want – whether that’s getting married at 23, 33, 43, whenever OR not. 

– We will all drink and have sex if we want to. with protection. :) 

Don’t hate the playa.

Ok my venting sesh is over now.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

FACEBOOK US

TWEET AT ME: @FARRAH_JOON

GOODNIGHT,

FARRAH فرح
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Comments

  1. as a matter of public health, it should be disclosed that you can get herpes regardless of any form of protection that you use. throw that on ur blog post. so to anyone who wants to play down the seriousness of hookups, have a nice fuckin day. dont kid yourself baba jan. only you have the power to prevent your pussy from ending up like a pepperoni pizza. your fucking choice.

    • and if youre wondering where all the brashness of this post is coming from, its from my experience as an MPH. with all the advances we have made in raising public awareness about STDs, and all our efforts, stupid people like the girls in the NY Times article continue to perpetuate the idea that sex can be “non-serious”. this is not true under ANY circumstance, from making out to oral, to intercourse with the dude wearing 3 condoms. he can give u herpes from parts other than his penis, you know

  2. StupidNYGirl says:

    um hi Sam.

    1) I think as an MPH you are EXTREMELY insensitive to the topic of STIs. I would like to mention that 1 in 4 people in the US currently have the HSV1 or HSV2 virus and out of those about 80% ARE NOT AWARE.

    2) The virus is ONLY tested for if the patient asks and/or if there are symptoms so you can take your ignorant rant to the center for disease control who have not yet educated their fine physicians.

    3)The virus is ONLY transmitted when during times of shedding which can be at minimum 3 times a year or when there is an active sore. The chances decrease with antiviral drugs and also the time of infection.

    4)It’s because of people like YOU who refer to an infected area as a pepperoni pizza that the topic of STIs are so taboo. If more people were not stigmatized by rude persian MEN like yourself who think that the world is so black and white then maybe
    “stupid girls who post on NYtimes” would be more educated and willing to talk about the virus.
    thanks babajan take care.

    • thats besides the point i was trying to make, which is that it is reckless to promote ANY form of hookup culture. Your username definitely describes what you stereotypically represent. a STUPID NY girl. people like you are turning back years of progress we have made in curbing sexually transmitted diseases. now go refill your Valtrex prescription

    • fucking disgusting. thats like saying people should start drinking sewer water, since there is a risk of infection, but its lower if you boil the water. what the FUCK are you talking about dude? you, and the idiots who they interviewed in the NY times article at UPenn are a threat to society and public health at large.

  3. I love NY pizza

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