How I Feel Around White Girls

Hello there,

It dawned on me recently that I didn’t have many white girl friends (and by many I mean less than or equal to one). I can’t seem to get one to stick around for the long-friendship haul and I’ve been searching my soul to understand why?

When I’ve gone out with them, I just feel like its quickly turned… boring.

The conversations revolve around things I just don’t understand. Normal Things. Like cute dinner parties as told by DIY-Pinterest Gods. That I’ve never been invited to.

Or new Half-Marathons to run. Which make me think of running the mile in PE Class…unfortunate memories


Or new lifestyle diets. Paleo, Juicing, Gluten Free, Vegan— I can’t even keep up with what’s the latest. But if I brought that lifestyle home my Persian family would have a few choice words for me, “Ghormeh sabzi ya kooft bokhor” (Trans: or eat crap).

But honestly, JUICING?

I’m about that SOLID FOOD LYFE.

Which is probably why I don’t look as good in Skinny Jeans as white girls. My Iranian genes have blessed me in other ways…


Honestly, we just don’t have much in common, I guess?

White girls always find it weird that my mom calls me more often in a day, then theirs do in a month. And it makes me all defensive…

Its like, I’m sorry your Mom doesnt love you as much as my mom loves me. Even though mine is insane.

And inviting them over to my house has always been….a terrible idea.

Speaking of terrible ideas– getting drunk with a bunch of sorority white girls. Was a messy & trashy experience for them…

and quite a sobering experience for me.

I’m always subject to the “Oh! I dated a Persian guy once” or “Persian guys are so dark and handsome”.

I also find it hard to connect on Music. They always talk about some weird bands, like MUMFORD & SONS and all this indie-angsty-JOHNMAYER esque ish. But I keep it hood, cause

Bringing it down to a base human level, we even express our emotions differently. They’re all like:

And I’m like:

And their guy problems….I CAN’T RELATE I TELL YOU.

This all probably dates back to the early years of my public school career. For my K-12 years, I didn’t attend very diverse schools. Especially my elementary and middle school.

I was in a sea of white girls who did Pop Warner Cheerleading while I figured out how to be invisible during PhysEd.

They just didn’t understand why I kept saying “I-RAN” was a country.

Or why I was so hairy. and I secretly wished my Parents would join the PTA so we didn’t seem so different.

But even a decade later, I’m still pretty scarred.

Luckily, now I live in one of the most diverse places in the U.S, but when it comes to white people, I still don’t really get them.


Or maybe they still don’t get me?

(Disclaimer: My experience. So no offense to you normal white girls out there– call me?)






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  1. This is a pretty accurate description of my childhood. My high school had no other Persian girls and my white friends would stick around for 1-2 years TOPS, and those were the academy award winning sisterhood of traveling pants ones. Now that I go to UCLA, I only have one good white friend and I was quick to join the Persian sorority to finally surround myself with girls who understood my frequent mustache-removal and family-based habits! TGIP (Thank goodness I’m Persian!

  2. SHAYSHAY says:


  3. Ahhhhhhh, YES! I’m a white girl (who grew up poor among many middle class white girls) and I LOVE this. Thank you.

  4. I was relating to this post up until you called mumford and sons weird……

  5. well on the same similar subject, I had a discussion with one of my friends’ daughter who was telling me she is interested in marrying Iranian because “white” boys don’t get the family and friend weight in our culture and that she really enjoys this aspect of her culture. I could not understand it that how come a girl who is born and raised here still cannot connect fully with the white culture and prefers and feels more comfortable with the Iranian culture. Maybe it is for the same reasons you mentioned above.

  6. OMG I RELATE TO THIS POST 100%. I live in a small city in Ohio, where there were virtually NO PERSIANS. I was the only Iranian in my school system and all of my high school friends were white. This isn’t to say that I didn’t get them back then; they never discriminated against me or treated me “differently”. However, since the past 8 months, I’ve definitely realized that, well, I kind of enjoy the company of my first-generation Persian friends MORE than my white friends…I personally think they’re better at keeping relationships and loyalty.

  7. My Mums White My dads Persian. I look Persian. Born in an English only speaking household. My family that I’ve met is only the white side. All my friends I have now are so incredibly white but Also really nice people. Yeah I got bullied by whites and I got bullied by Persians for not speaking Persian. even got imitated in a really mean teasing way once when they asked me copy what they said in Persian and then they imitated me back because I didn’t say it right, in incredibly mean way. I also wish I got along with Persians because have no one to share my bleaching hair removal woes, etc. with as my mum is so incredibly white she just does not even get it at all! Also allot of people where a live really don’t like the Persian population because they “stick to themselves” apparently.So yeah really weird situation I’m in .worst of both worlds for me.

  8. Goli Parvinian says:

    According to this post, I’m an incredibly different kind of Persian girl. I grew up in a affulent upper-middle class suburb with predominantly white people. Most of my best friends, several of whom I have been best friends with for over 10 years, are white. I have a handful of persian friends. I didn’t really notice how different I was from white people until I came to college, but it doesn’t mean I can’t relate to them. Just like I can find a way to relate to black or asian girls. We grew up differently but we’re not aliens. I also speak fluent Farsi, and am very close to my Persian family and roots. I love being ‘different’ and my friends love me.I’m dating a white guy and consistently forget that strangers view us as “interracial” Does this make me less persian and more white? Na azizam, ba seefeedha doost hastam. ;)

  9. Saaghi joon,

    I find I’m not able to be friends with most “white girls”, but the female friends I do have who have more European roots and coloring than I do, are totally on my level. In fact, I have more white female friends than Persian because, well, MN is not where all the Persians go. And, being half white, I sometimes feel like I can’t click well with other Persians, male or female. I think out ability to befriend and hold connection comes down to taste, personality, and values, and whether or not they are reflected in others. Is there a stereotype of the white girl character type? Absolutely, much like there are of us, or literally any other kind of person- but sometimes, those molds are broken or else those people miss us entirely and we just find human beings with whom we can click. So I’ma eat this tahdig and listen to Mumford and Sons, or something.


  10. amaryllisgreen says:

    I’m white and I got the “or eat crap” frequently! lol!!

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