So I have a problem…
And a question really:
Is it true that many of us just attract jerks?
Let me confess, I have had a problem lately with the kind of men I attract; you may have seen my Manwhore piece a few weeks back. Add a few variations of this type and this had pretty much been the kinds of guys that come my way nowadays.
I hear guys complain all the time about how “good girls go for the bad guys” and I always fire my usual retorts because the statement/ assumption is just plain idiotic. And yet sometimes, it does seem to happen. So what is the problem?
Sometimes, you’re so attracted to a person you meet to the point where your mind wallows up in their panty-combusting hotness and doesn’t have the heart to investigate things like the guy’s morals, ideas, politics, and the rest of the disheartening list.
It happens. And soon enough you realize that the guy is whether a wham-bam-thank you-ma’am type, a crazy control freak or otherwise has serious issues.
Other times, when you’re fresh from the hurt and humiliation of the first scenario, you grow the “see only personality” mask. We start saying things like “looks don’t matter” or “it’s only the personality that counts.”
Guess what, that’s another recipe for disaster.
Because its just the opposite extreme of the first scenario.
If you chose to get with someone you are not attracted to (and here I say not attracted to as opposed to saying someone that is not attractive – we all have varying tastes), in time you’ll find that personality alone may not be able to drive a relationship.
Nobody is beyond the lure of physical attraction; there is no need to be ashamed of it.
Most of us have already figured out that hotness alone can be dangerous. But let’s not dehumanize ourselves by pretending that our intimate life can get going on personality assessments alone. What’s important, in my opinion, is to realize that this old cliché that love is an odd combination of physical, mental and emotional attraction is actually true.
There are never standards for any of these: the point is to just stay conscious of what you need out of the relationship.
DO YOU LIKE JERKS TOO?
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